#nbweek

[genderqueerpositivity]

(Image description: white cursive text on a blue and purple background that reads "You dont have to understand another persons gender identity in order to respect them" above smaller text reads "Nonbinary Awareness Week".)

...So this didn't actually get posted during Enby Week.

[carcino-cat-nip]

I FORGOT TO FINISH OFF NBWEEK! better late than never!

1. yes and no? in a weird way, it turns out my birth name can be shortened to my current online name. my online name is something that has been with me since i started writing fanfics and has been a part of myself for a very long time. so it just made sense to go by it as my current namesake. as for pronouns, my friend who also uses neopronouns showed me a variety of neopronouns and the one that drew me in was xe/xem/xyr. it was one of those inexplicable, fits like a glove moments when i changed pronouns.

2. again, yes and no? i eventually want to change everything to nonbinary, but with the current climate of society right now, i’d like to wait for things to become much more open to using gender neutral expressions. and i also don’t really like the Mx. title? i haven’t found the One Honoric i vibe with.

3. i do! i’ve been considering top surgery or starting T. i really dislike how high pitched my voice goes to talk to people and i have to consciously lower my pitch to sound like how i’d like. i also have days i want a flat chest, while other times, i’m ok with them. i think i’d like to eventually.

4. no, thankfully, i am independently living on my own with my wonderful, open minded partner who has been supportive of my nonbinaryness, so he’s been helping me with picking out more masc clothing and gives me gender affirmations when my gender feels switches. i also found wonderful online friends who help me find resources for transitioning socially. i’ve been very fortunate in that regards.

5. i’d like to start T and get more chest binders. as part of my transition, i also cut my hair short, in a style i’ve always wanted and dyed my hair in a way and color i’ve always wanted. i also let my body hair grow. surprisingly, it’s only been an issue when i wear very tight jeans.

[bottomoftheriverbed]

I missed the last day of nonbinary awareness week so instead I drew a rough drawing of ideal me after I've transitioned

[fandom-star]

Non-Binary Week

I've not answered any of the questions the organisers of this have put out until now, but as yesterday was the last day, I'm just gonna answer them all today!

1. Personally, my experience of being non-binary is being a mix of both the male and female genders. The way I experience it can be shown in the ratio male:female as 80:20.

2. My pronouns are they/them, however I probably wouldn't mind he/him either.

3. My honorific is Mx. I used to have a mixed (ha) opinion on it, but over the past six months or so I've grown to actually really love it!

4. I mean, naturally I have to say that the purple on the flag represents me best! It's my favourite colour! However, of the four colours, it's the most obvious to symbolise the mix of male and female that I experience.

1. The first time I heard of non-binary was when an old internet friend of mine came out as non-binary. I never really thought much of it other than now knowing what pronouns I had to use for them! 

2. I started questioning my gender more than two years ago. I used several non-binary labels before settling on just non-binary seven months later.

3. As I said before, I used some other more specific labels, which changed as my understanding of myself developed. 

4. I have! I came out to my best friend basically when I labelled myself as non-binary. Then I came out to my mum the next Summer. Then I subtly came out to my other friends. And I came out on Instagram on Tuesday (actual non-binary day) and Friday.

5. I haven't come out to my granny or my dad, and I almost certainly never will. 

1. I love the community we have. Like, the majority of non-binary people I know on- and offline are really amazing.

2. I definitely know a lot more about gender and the history of it than I used to.

3. I've gained gained more acceptance of the way I am. I've also gained insight to some of my behaviours when I was younger. 

4. My favourite gender euphoria moments are definitely seeing or hearing my name. Not many people actually call me Elliott regularly, which is fine bc in most settings it's preferred that they don't (e.g. at school or in fandom spaces where I've almost always been known as Ell), but it's really nice to open my laptop and see it wanting "Elliott J" to log in and things like that.

1. I'm asexual, bi- and/or panromantic and autistic.

2. Well, my sexuality and everything intersect because it's all queer. Autism and trans identities intersect because a lot of autistic people are also trans and/or non-binary. While there is no exact reasoning behind this, some have connected it to our lack of understanding or different view of social situations.

3. Well, autistic and non-binary rep is incredibly lacking separately, put them together and, well...

4. Please, please, please, don't listen to people who are "oh so concerned about the lickle autistic childwen" because they pretend that we can't think for ourselves, or worse, they BELIEVE that. We can. If autistic people couldn't think for themselves, I wouldn't be running this blog. I wouldn't be writing fanfiction. I probably wouldn't have friends. Don't fall into that trap.

1. I am asexual (cba to go into romantic attraction). I have known that for years, I feel like I probably class as an ace veteran! I'm not really sure how to describe my relationship with the terminology. 

2. Being non-binary definitely plays a part in how I refer to my body and and my relationship with it. As anyone who follows me probably knows, I have bad chest dysphoria, so I don't refer to that part of me with the "anatomically correct" term, I just call it my chest. I can't really change the terminology of anything else that bothers me. But yeah, being non-binary and the dysphoria I experience because of that definitely affects how I think of my body and relate to it.

3. Gender roles are shit, not gonna lie. I just do whatever the hell I want. I mean, cis people obsessed with them would probably say I fulfil the male role more than the female. But I don't know.

4. I definitely present myself in a more masculine way. I have short hair, I don't wear dresses or skirts, I only ever wear any kind of make-up for cosplay. However, a lot of my features are seen as proving that I'm "biologically female", and I don't bind as often as I'd like. 

5. I don't really know how often I think about being non-binary. I mean, I think about my gender more often than a cis man or woman probably does, but... I don't know. Not as much as I used to. 

1. Oh god, so many things people think are wrong. Probably that non-binary genders are new thing. They're not, they're really not. Western cultures just covered them up. A lot of indigenous cultures have more than one gender.

2. The most dangerous thing that people can think is that it doesn't exist and are only used to get attention. NO! If we wanted attention, there are SO MANY BETER AND SAFER WAYS TO DO SO!!!

3. I think it's definitely cis people, especially white cis people, who perpetrate the most misconceptions about us.

4. Binary people need to understand pretty much everything I've just said. And that if you want to have a say in this, do your research. And not just from a binary perspective. Actually LISTEN TO THE PEOPLE YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT!!!

5. Just... just don't ask me anything unless I say you can. And when I do tell, please don't ask anything invasive.

1. I have both changed my name and my pronouns.

2. I want to legally change my name. I also want to legally change my gender to non-binary, but that can't happen until the government agrees to allow it. Which they haven't. 

3. I think I want to take testosterone for some time. Maybe between six months and a year. I also want a chest reduction. Not top surgery, because I think it would feel wrong for me if there was nothing.

4. I haven't tried to access any gender services yet. I probably won't have to lie, I hope not, I'm a horrible liar, but I suppose we'll just have to see.

5. I want to grow out my natural facial hair. I have a somewhat abnormal amount of facial hair for someone who's afab, and mum makes me get it off bc she's worried about bullying and stuff, so I'll probably have to wait until I go to uni to do that, which is only two years, so!

Thank you for getting this far! I hope this gave you some insight into me and my experiences as a non-binary person.

[sorry-im-paranoid]

Day 7 I think

1. I did, yes

2. I’d like to eventually

3. I want top surgery, but that’s probably it

4. No

5. Not much that I can think of. I think I’m fully socially transitioned and I can’t think of anything else that I didn’t already answer in one of the other questions

[fire-fira]

Nonbinary Awareness Week Day 7: Transition

Did or do I want to change my name and/or pronouns?:

LOL

Already did it.

Been there, done that, have a t-shirt with one set of my pronouns on it and an incredibly queer coat that has a patch on it with my other set of pronouns on it (and the aro, ace, and nonbinary flags on it).

I legally changed my name in 2014 and I legally changed my gender marker almost as soon as a nonbinary option became available in my state (back in November 2019).

I started shifting my pronouns in my early 20s (22-23-ish), and by 2011 I had shifted them completely. (Though I-- language nerd that I am-- actually took roughly a year to work through sounds to create a set of pronouns that sounded as natural to English to me as possible.)

Did or do I want to take legal steps to affirm your gender?:

PFFFFT See the fourth point under the last question.

Though I’d also like to get my birth certificate corrected.

Unfortunately I wasn’t born in the state I live in, and the state I was born in 1) doesn’t have a nonbinary option, 2) has a ridiculous requirement for surgeries to have been done in order for them to agree to a legal change, and 3) would require me to go to that state (with medical documentation to prove I had a surgery I don’t want) and have a court hearing for it there. Can we say “This is BULLSHIT”? Because this is bullshit.

Did or do I want to medically transition?:

adsl;aldskjf;lsdjkaf

No I haven’t.

As for whether I want to... yes????? ish???? and no.

I don’t want HRT, I don’t want surgery.

But top surgery is the only way to get the flat chest I want.

But at the same time I like my binders and wouldn’t have a need for them if I had top surgery.

And hospitals freak me tf out. Something about the smell pushes a panic button in my head.

Soooooo I waffle on it. It’s complicated.

Did I ever have to lie or hide my nonbinarity to access transition-related services?:

Nope.

Unless you count my terrified attempt at correcting me being referred to as ‘miss’ during my court date for my name change. (I was kind of half expecting them to refuse my name change-- as illogical as that is-- and I was freaking out badly enough that my attempts at correcting their misgendering weren’t all that coherent to them. So word to the wise, if you’re in court and get misgendered with a title (miss/sir/ma’am) don’t respond with “No -insert misgendering title here-.”) If not being as clear as I could have been that I wasn’t a woman in that instance counts as lying, then I guess I can say yes.

What else did I do or do I want to do that I consider part of my transition?:

Honestly at this point the main thing is the birth certificate, but I can’t do anything about that at this time.

I absolutely DO NOT want to ever take a job where I would have to be closeted about my gender though. My being nonbinary and third-gender shouldn’t be any more remarkable than a woman being a woman or a man being a man, and I don’t want to have to deal with having to try to hide my gender (and failing to do so). (And having to worry over whether my gender and being honest about it has screwed me over in some job interviews sucks to all hell and back, but at the same time I don’t want to work with people who won’t give me the same basic respect they give others.)

Other than those, I can’t think of much.

It’s been a fun Nonbinary Awareness Week, and I’m glad I did this.

---

[Day 1] [Day 2]

[Day 3] [Day 4]

[Day 5] [Day 6]

[rai-jin-andro-jin]

NON-BINARY WEEK 2020

DAY 7 (July 18): TRANSITION

Share if and how you (want to) transition. This includes social, medical, legal and anything else that YOU define as part of your transition.

One of my biggest transition points is probably my pronouns. I'm still finding it difficult socially to tell people when they used the wrong pronouns; it's not like I have a visceral reaction to being called she/her, especially by people who I know respect me. But at the same time, I do notice it, and it isn't quite right to my ear. In writing, it's even more noticeable. I think my biggest issue is not wanting to be a burden, not wanting to make a fuss. But if people love me, they'll understand. And when I correct you, I don't want you to apologize profusely; I just want you to correct yourself and keep going. It's not a big deal to make a mistale, so don't make it into one by proclaiming your guilt. Just make the switch, and keep right on going as before.

I'm still working through the name issue. Right now I'm still technically Jen, legally Jennifer. I'm not sure how I feel about it right now. Currently, I'm not sure what new name I would choose. As a fiction writer, I have a lot of creative freedom at my fingertips. But, like before, I'm afraid of being a burden to others, afraid of seeming unreasonable. I have a bad habit of putting my needs and feelings second. When I finally put myself first, I found out I was non-binary. So, as I learn to keep doing it, I imagine a new name will follow. And trust me, it'll probably be pretty damn cool. ✌🏻 (Also, am I the only one who wants to go by many names? Daenerys Targaryen had it right all along.)

As far as legally affirming my gender, I'm not sure how I would go about that, or if the United States even officially recognizes non-binary identities. (If non-binary is a recognized gender in the US, I would like to pursue that; at the time of writing this, I'm a bit ignorant of policies, laws, and protections surrounding that.) My only hesitance with legally transitioning is how it might be categorized. While I might want to transition my gender, I don't consider myself transgender. Of course, I don't consider myself cisgender either. I consider myself without gender at all, or agender. But it's my perception that most of the time, to the government, you're either male or female, or potentially "other" (which really doesn't feel good either lol). I don't want to give off the impression I'm trying to be of any gender. I'm genderless. So until the government can recognize my gender for what it is, and until they provide protections for me and for those like me, I may only be transitioning socially with my name and pronouns. And the name is probably the only thing I can legally do. The government doesn't care about your pronouns or gender identity unless you're in the binary. And even then, they don't always listen or care. So 🤷🏻‍♂️

Currently happy with my afab body, so no thoughts of medical transition. I just wish people would stop sexualizing and gendering me and my body. Send my extremely rude regards to the patriarchy. 🖕🏻💕

[existingtm]

1. I’ve changed what pronouns I use for myself. Now I prefer they/them most of the time. Occasionally he or she. I want to change my name too. I’ve pretty much settled on a middle name but I’m not entirely sure about my first name yet. There are a few ideas I have. I’m not out to anyone offline but eventually I’d like to use new pronouns and a new name with those people too.

2. Yes. There’s a nonbinary option for your driver’s license here and I’d like to change my marker to that. I’d also like to change it on whatever else I can.

3. I am considering microdosing hormone gel in the future. I’d like to take other non-medical transition steps first though.

4. Sort of, for a piece of trans apparel. It didn’t work out though.

5. I want to get trans apparel/items. I’m also doing some specific exercises to become physically more androgynous.