Do you still remember the time when someone wrote you a mushy confession here with lots of cringe-worthy metaphors? LOL. I think that was November of 2014.
I haven’t seen you for a long time already. It sounds like we had some special moments before no? Charot. Wala! Pano magkakaroon e tuwing nakakatabi kita sa class, para akong natatae.
Di ako makapagsalita.
Di ako makalingon.
So ayun, ngawit na ngawit ako lagi after class.
You don’t even know that every time you spill out your old granny jokes (or di naman old pero super weirdo ka lang siguro talaga. Well that’s a given naman), parang akong natutunaw na yelo sa sobrang kilig.
I was there. I was always there listening to the first released song of your band. I always had my earphones on anywhere I go and played ‘Run’ on replay because it reminded me of you, of how beautiful your smiles are. Somehow it eased the heavy load of feelings inside my chest. You were basically my saving grace then.
I wish I was braver those days. I wish I had told you how I feel, but if that’s too much, I wish I had at least taken the chance to look at your face closely for a longer time. Before, doing these things seems like committing a crime, but what’s so wrong with liking someone?
“ How are you doing?” Every now and then, I make attempts to send you this 4-word question, but just like before, the loud, chatty, and straightforward girl in me failed to muster enough courage to press ‘Enter’. Di naman siguro ako ijujudge pero takot na takot pa rin ako.
I did not anticipate that liking someone would feel so blissful and depressing at the same time.
Actually, I saw you last semester near the library and I pretended to be indifferent. That’s how stupid I am. You didn’t greet me, as well. I don’t know if you can’t remember me or you’re just as stupid as I am.
Funny ‘cause you still walk like a penguin. Some things don’t really change, you know.
You still give me the butterflies despite those dark circles under your eyes and your walk, which looked like an old man so done with life’s shits.
God, I don’t even know why I’m writing this. Perhaps I just suddenly missed seeing your face and hearing your voice.
Remember the last time I posted here? I wrote something like wishing to make another Earth and take you there. Stupid, really! HAHAHA lol. Honestly, I’ll be satisfied with just a brief glance. Many not-so-good things happened lately and my memory of you is one of my escape places. I wish I'd bump you somewhere in UP gain.
I’ll end it here. I hope to see you soon! May maliit na chance pa maging classmates tayo ulit. Sana.
Pero kung hindi, maybe on a different time in a different world.
And please don’t find me creepy and pathetic. I’m kind of doubting myself na rin.
P.S. You’re the pinakagwapo among your brothers, but I think they’re funnier and less weird.
P.P.S. I’m a musician, too. We have a common ground na. Ano, tayo na ba?
- AlmostThereButNotReally, 2013, NCPAG
