#nd!jim

[daylighteclipsed]

Strickler, plucking a knife from his cloak: Are you ready to die, Trollhunter?

Jim: Kinda yeah

Strickler:

Strickler, kneeling down to Jim’s height: You good?

[daylighteclipsed]

I read The Adventure Begins novel and I have a lot to say. This list is pretty long, so most of it is under the cut:

The Amulet is like a countdown clock, so a Trollhunter knows if they’re going to die soon.

Kanjigar, Blinky, and Aaarrrgghh are best friends and went on adventures together.

cool in theory but contradicts canon since Kanjigar believes “a Trollhunter works alone.” That’s why he and Jim clash.

But the past adventure they talk about is clever omg the frightened human pilots thought the goblins were Gremlins 

“[Kanjigar] moved closer, wanting to share the pride he felt for Draal...until he remembered the Amulet that occupied the space between his heart and his son.”

This line is so powerful. I now want to kick Merlin’s ass for Jim and Kanjigar.

Kanjigar praying Merlin not choose his son as the next Trollhunter seconds before he dies is so powerful too. I’m literally going to kick Merlin’s ass.

Jim has scars on his fingertips from all the times in the past he messed up using his Santoku knife.

“Kids, don’t try this at home, Jim thought. Unless your mom works crazy long hours and you’ve gotten sick of eating PB and J alone every night.”

All I can see is young tiny Jim sitting at this vacant kitchen table in a big empty house munching on a sandwich all by himself...And years later he’s eating better meals, but he’s still alone. i’m going to cry.

but i refuse to believe Jim never invites Toby over for dinner! refuse

who gave Jim a sword, why does he have a sword, give the boy a knife, let him fight with knives

Jim shits on his gpa and claims he’s not good at school but he’s taking AP history so...I'm thinking he’s just one of those kids that thinks a B or C is terrible

Plus I can’t see Barbara letting Jim get away with bad grades. Or Jim letting himself get away with bad grades when his mom works so hard to provide for them. He’s shown to be a hard worker in canon.

Jim has an anxiety disorder. Before he even becomes the Trollhunter. IDC if its not explicitly stated as such; every page is Jim worrying and wishing he would stop worrying and overthinking and feeling like he’s running out of time and it hinders his ability to concentrate or exist in the moment. Jim himself describes this as the norm too, like its an “all the time” thing, constant and persistent. and he feels so relieved in the very brief moments his head is free of “anxious thoughts.” Like there are so many examples. If I were to list them all this post would be very very long.

But I think its clever how the author weaves Jim’s pre-established anxiety, that feeling of running out of time, into the Amulet constantly ticking like a clock. And I guess if Kanjigar’s anything to go by, it is a countdown clock for how long Jim has left to live.

It brings a new meaning to Steve taunting Jim with the “tick-tock” gesture too.

Toby uses baby wipes to wipe his sweat away.

Toby unabashedly flirts with the ladies, even flashing the cheesy finger guns.

Jim’s such a soft loser he can recognize the flower Claire’s perfume smells like: Gardenias. 

Jim first saw Claire at one of her mom’s fundraisers at the hospital and started crushing when she requested the DJ play Papa Skull and rocked out on the dance floor all by herself.

My daughter is brave and true.

Likewise Claire started crushing on Jim when she noticed him dancing with his mom.

My son is loyal and caring.

These moments are character defining. In a sense, they fell for each other’s souls. (Claire’s a Gryffindor, Jim’s a Hufflepuff. thanks for coming to my tedtalk.)

Toby and Jim are bullied pretty regularly. Toby “had been the victim of numerous practical jokes during his childhood”. Steve gave Toby a wedgie a week before when the book takes place. And when Jim realizes what he’s done by standing up to Steve, he’s literally nauseous imagining the beating he’s going to get.

Jim’s not worried about dying, so much as how his death would affect his mom. This comes up twice.The second time its the final push he needs to fight back against Bular.

“Master Jim, you are now responsible for the protection of two worlds, human and Troll alike. If you don’t bring balance to the force keep the balance, evil trolls like Bular will come into yours and wreak havoc.”

“Toby knew that panicked look on Jim’s face all too well.” Did I mention Jim has anxiety

“Jim...looked around the pleasant neighborhood. All around him, families sat down together for dinner, parents helped kids with homework, and teens texted and gamed with one another. But not Jim. That kind of normal life clearly wasn’t meant for him.” I'm so emo

“I SURVIVED BULAR AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS STUPID AMULET” Someone please draw Jim wearing this as a t-shirt.

Blinky knows how Wi-Fi works and that humans like to send each other “adorable pictures of cats.”

“Thank you, Merlin, thought Kanjigar. Thank you for hearing my wish and sparing my son so that he may live a life free of your demands.” im going to KICK MERLIN’S ASS. SQUARE UP OLD MAN

“Over the centuries Kanjigar had seen full-grown trolls, some triple his size, cower in fear when the Amulet chose them. And yet here was this human child who somehow managed to withstand the Amulet’s burden--and still keep going.” listen I'm fucking crying i love Jim so much

Basically this book has a lot of good lines and moments and headcanons (unless the book’s been confirmed canon, idk?) but yeah I’m glad I read it.

[daylighteclipsed]

a-blue-bubble: I really loved this about the book as well, it truly is such a good feeling to see this character who I love struggling with the same thing as me. Also, Toby takes care of him in the meantime, as best he can. It's present in the show but more obvious in the book, the way Toby reacts to Jim's anxiety.

That lets you know Jim’s been struggling with anxiety for a decent amount of time too, for Toby to be able to recognize when Jim’s getting overwhelmed and know how to help him. Those indicators are familiar to Toby, and that can take years to learn and familiarize yourself with.

And that makes it better imo. It’s rare to see mental illness even suggested in an adventure story, but when it is it’s usually after traumatic events befall the character. Jim’s anxiety is present before anything even happens. It’s just there, while he’s leading a normal life, and it’s beautiful. That’s really relatable and validating and important, I think, because that’s how it is for a lot of people and that’s not the kind of representation you usually get in stories like this.

Man, I would’ve loved to have a character like Jim to connect with when I was younger. The Adventure Begins novel is the closest I’ve ever seen an author get to accurately depicting persistent anxiety. Jim’s head is a mess. He’s distracted, tangled in his thoughts, dreading the day before it even begins, constantly frustrated that the “anxious voice” won’t leave him alone, and frequently trying to escape it all, his mind, his thoughts, himself. And that is exactly what it’s like. Every single day. Dealing with that. While trying to live your life. And that’s so fucking validating to see. 

It’s also super validating that a published author picked up on Jim’s anxiety in the show and seemed to take the time to accurately portray that anxiety on paper. I almost want to know if they just observed his character on TV, or if they also consulted the Trollhunters team before writing him in a way that heavily suggests he has an anxiety disorder. I know it’s probably a long shot, but I hope its confirmed in the show, that that representation is made official. I would legitimately cry.

Jim struggling with anxiety gives a heavier meaning to the grit-shaka too, especially after reading the novel and seeing how desperately he wants his anxiety to go away. To have that impossible wish fulfilled, God, he’s so stupidly happy. “Lose myself? I found myself, and I wasn’t even looking for me!” He’s on Cloud Nine. But he’s looking for relief in the wrong place. It’s like being heavily drugged, more so because Jim doesn’t remember what happened when he finally comes to, and he’s scared. “Toby! Where am I? What’s going on?” 

(I heard in the Guide thing Jim tries to get his hands on another grit-shaka even after what happened, and if that’s true that’s like. Really alarming. He wants to be totally unaware of what’s going on and what he’s feeling except for joy and confidence because whatever he’s normally feeling, that crushing anxiety and fear, is that bad, that unbearable for him...Someone help him.)

But it also makes every good thing Jim does more powerful. That he’s able to do all these great things despite struggling with anxiety, that’s empowering to watch. Anxiety is a constant battle with yourself. He has to fight that internal battle with himself every day along with external battles with external enemies, and he does it. Not without stumbling and panicking and failing sometimes, but that never deters him. He proves himself a hero, and that’s so great. I hope the kids watching who can relate to him take comfort in knowing they can be heroes too.

[daylighteclipsed]

love seeing more people hopping on the jim has anxiety/depression train

[daylighteclipsed]

the-punning-ubus: headcanon: jim uses paper bags as his lunch bag becouse they can function as panic bags to help calm him down shoud the situation arrive

YES! Okay Jim totally has panic attacks and Toby always helps/talks him through it

[daylighteclipsed]

following up on my post last night: Jim being mentally ill is a really important headcanon to me, not just because I’m projecting and want to see more positive portrayals of mental illness in media (though that is the case), but also because the show already seems to hint at it so much??

Before Jim’s even given the responsibilities of the Trollhunter, we have Strickler pointing out how exhausted, overwhelmed, and distracted Jim seems, and then offering for Jim to come see him if Jim ever wants to talk about what’s troubling him. Now Strickler might just be a really nice teacher, but in my experience a teacher doesn’t ask you what’s wrong, let alone offer to talk about it with you outside of class, unless you’ve been behaving like something’s wrong for a decent amount of time. Continuous fatigue, excessive worrying, and an inability to concentrate are symptoms of an anxiety disorder.

We quickly learn Jim’s default mode is pretty much Panic 90% of the time. Panic and Fear. Jim himself admits that the first rule of being a Trollhunter, “always be afraid”, is the one rule he doesn’t have to work on, insinuating he’s already always afraid. An anxiety disorder also brings greater significance to rule #1. Something generally only thought of as a burden is kinda beneficial here. Being afraid makes you a hero in this world and, as someone who has anxiety, I think that’s pretty cool.

You could also argue Jim’s extreme response to the grit-shaka hints at an anxiety disorder. As another user put it: the totem could’ve just been messing with Jim because he’s human, but maybe he’s just so used to constantly being afraid and worrying and panicking that when he had no fear, when that all went away, “it was so fundamentally different than how he was used to living, he didn’t know how to handle it.” 

Jim has 1 best friend, only really talks to that person, and doesn’t seem keen on expanding his social circle beyond that except for Claire who he only gets the courage to talk to after Strickler’s encouragement. I get the sense that Jim doesn’t care much about knowing the rest of his peers and/or he’s too anxious to really try. He seems really mature for his age too, all of which can be explained by anxiety. And maybe depression.

Depression’s not as obvious as anxiety is in Jim, but he does come across as very beaten down, like all he wants is for things to stop for awhile. Indeed, there is a whole episode about Jim stopping time so he can work through his problems, and in retrospect that again seems more like anxiety–feeling like your thoughts are tangled and there’s not enough time to do anything–but I’d argue without that anxiety keeping him up and moving Jim would be left laying facedown on the ground feeling like metal weights are tied to his arms and legs, which is exactly what depression feels like.

We see hopelessness sometimes bleed into Jim’s fear. The most blatant example being when he thinks he’s going to die in his fight against Draal and he just accepts it. He “fades”, writing goodbye letters to his mom, Toby, and Claire. Cooking his mom’s favorite meal and conversing with her calmly over dinner like nothing’s wrong. Laying alone in his darkened bedroom later, looking sad and conflicted about what to do. It’s reminiscent of someone struggling with suicidal thoughts and I don’t know if the writers did that on purpose or not but that’s definitely the vibe I get.

Claire confronts Jim about his letter to her the next day, and Jim, feeling fine now, panics and rides with Claire’s assumption that he’s dealing with some mental monsters instead of telling her the truth, not unlike concealing the truth from others after a major depressive episode. Mental illness is the first thing Claire jumps to to make sense of Jim’s letter. She’s the second person to offer a listening ear if he ever wants to talk about what’s troubling him.

Barbara doesn’t read her letter. She wants Jim to just tell her whats going on with him, but he can’t because its hard and he doesn’t know how she’ll react and he doesn’t want to hurt her and wowie if fighting physical monsters and keeping it a secret ain’t a perfect metaphor for fighting mental monsters and keeping it a secret.

A metaphor that’s hammered in even MORE when human!Blinky disguises himself as Jim’s guidance counselor of all people, and Barbara isn’t even that surprised to discover Jim’s seeing a counselor. She, a medical professional, quickly accepts Jim’s dealing with some stuff and that’s why he’s been acting different and Jim, once again, just goes with the lie that isn’t entirely a lie. That’s 3 people who’ve assumed Jim’s struggling and needs someone to talk to based on his behavior: Strickler, Claire, and Barbara. 

And Jim struggling with his mental health ties in perfectly with the comparisons drawn between he and Atlas. If anyone struggles the most mentally and physically, its Atlas, having to shoulder alone the impossible weight of the sky. 

So, yeah, headcanoning characters with the same struggles as you is fun and comforting, but there’s a lot of canon evidence suggesting Jim really could have anxiety and depression.

[daylighteclipsed]

Jim is the embodiment of that ‘i want to die’ ‘but what if you die’ meme

[daylighteclipsed]

just....mentally ill Jim

Jim being a hero for the struggling modern age kid, living in a time where society is more demanding than ever. Where you’re expected to do it all, juggle school, friends, family, extracurriculars, jobs, etc, and never give less than 108% of your effort.

Jim being a hero who has to meet twice the demands of the modern kid, having to balance both the mundane and the extraordinary and struggling to keep up with both worlds, stretching himself thin and losing sleep because of his responsibilities and anxieties.

Jim being a hero in the middle of training or battle who’s fretting more about the hours of homework he needs to get done or the big test coming up on Friday than the immediate danger in front of him. Jim worrying about the next thing he has to deal with instead of enjoying the moment. Jim being a hero who copes with morbid humor that most young people also use and find relatable because he is a young people. (“you may be cooler than me, but do you have Crippling Anxiety™? *finger guns*”)

Jim being a hero who chooses to go through Hell (literally) alone rather than involve anyone else, who feels guilty for dragging anyone into what he feels is his mess, who faces trauma no one else does, who would rather suffer in silence than burden others with his problems, who deals incorrectly at first but grows from it.

Jim being a hero who ultimately cracks under the pressure he’s been forced to endure. Jim being a hero who is exhausted, who isn’t Atlas, who can’t do it all on his own, who doesn’t want to anymore. 

Jim being a hero who learns to accept this, who stops expecting so much of himself, who allows others to support him and the impossible weight on his shoulders.

Jim being a hero who still stumbles even with support but always gets back up again, who never lets the monsters outside or within win, who many modern young people can look up to and understand.

Jim being a mentally ill kid hero protagonist who’s mental illness does not define him or his story and still achieves great things despite it.