#negative 45

[tehsims2]

for halloween this year i am: depressed

but if thats the case then every day is halloween .

[smeels]

im shror and fat and ugly and disgustog i hate myself so much i wish i was fuckgin dead.

[tehsims2]

im never gonna be a recommended zayn blog when am i gonna learn to accept that

[tehsims2]

i remember. i used to say things like “im autistic and proud”

i wish i was still proud of the things i am.

[tehsims2]

the girl in asl got me thinking lately. i have never even held hands with someone. never kissed romantically. never had a real hug.

what are these things like? she made it seem as if it could happen at any moment.

am i even good enough for someone? ive had people, but its never been physical. long distance. couldnt work out.

do i even seem appealing to people? to even friends? i say i dont want to date, but really i dont even know anymore. maybe i just want a fling. or to feel like im loved.

to just. feel wanted.

[tehsims2]

i have this scary paranoia that my irl friends dont like me, that when i get up to throw something away they whisper things about me. that they dont like me because im the youngest. the retard of the group. just a child.

[tehsims2]

im so self-conscious all the time. i can’t..... i cant remember the last time i truly loved myself.

[tehsims2]

how are any of you friends with me im constantly sad and i bring the worst atmosphere a human can why do you even bother? im the worst.