#nei jae

[hi-imnei]

3 LIVE!!! #IMBL #HOM #SEASON1CYPHER #PART1

[hi-imnei]

So Long, 2014

So long, 2014. You leave me with a bittersweet feeling. You see, you weren’t bad, per se, but at the same time, you weren’t good to me either. It’s been a year of lessons. Lessons that at my age seemed to be irrelevant. Yet as I sit here and reminisce on the days of this year’s past I see with clarity what was clouded in their actual moments. I needed you, 2014. I needed you to show me that there could be strength in suffering. I needed you to show me that I could find love in the midst of loss. I needed you to show me that despite it all, I deserve it all. And showed me you did.

Two people. Two major and influential people. Karl Bernard and Hattie Lee. In 2014 I said goodbye to you. Heart really heavy, I look to the sky for you. Gone to soon, I still cry for you. Sufficating pain, thought I would die without you. But I’m not without you. My thoughts are full of you. My heart overflows with you. I love and I miss you. Now I live for you.

So long, 2014. You leave me with a bittersweet feeling. You see, you weren’t bad, per se, but at the same time, you weren’t good to me either. I’m hoping that 2015 has more happiness in store for. But don’t worry, I see you as what you were meant to be: preparation for more.

So long, 2014…

[hi-imnei]

No More Solo Office Parties!!!

Office Christmas party 2014 I pull out the little black dress, slip on some FABULOUS pumps, beat my face to within an inch of life, spray on some smell good, throw on a coat, and roll out… SOLO

When I get there we stand around chit chatting. I’m introduced to girlfriends, boyfriends, wives, and husbands. All is well. After warming up a bit I excuse myself to check my coat. When I reenter the room everything changes. Warm smiles turn cool. Boyfriends and husband are held a little tighter. And laser beam eyes track my every move around the room.

"So THIS is what you’ve been hiding under all of those pants suits?" "Damn, Nei, when you come out, you COME OUT." And my favorite, "DAMN, GIRL!!!" Insert eyeroll here. The very men who treat me with a cool regard Monday through Friday have suddenly become Mr. Attentive. I spent the evening turning down offers to retrieve drinks, get food, take pictures, and dance all while dodging death ray stares. There was even one girlfriend that approached me and asked if there was something she "needed to know." The question is "Why, though?"

Don’t get me wrong, I know that I’m pretty, and when I clean up, I CLEAN UP. But I’m honest enough to admit that I don’t garner that kind of attention on the regular. I spoke to a friend about it. His reply, “Nei, you need to open your eyes and see what we see. You don’t know how much of a threat you are. The greatest accessory a woman can wear is confidence. You walked in on ten, and everyone in the room couldn’t do anything but take notice. You owned it, and they couldn’t stand it.”

Sounds good, huh? So where is this girl all the other days of the week? I like her! We’ve got to bring her out more. Lol

Happy holidays, Nei💋

[hi-imnei]

Untitled

Moments like this = BLISS☆•♤¤♤¤☆

[hi-imnei]

#sweetienei #sillynei #sassynei

[hi-imnei]

#2014

I didn’t do my usual New Year’s Eve reflection post. Why not? Because I can’t recall not one momentus or outstanding thing that happened in 2013 that I feel like reflecting upon. Ok…I take that back. There is that one thing. *blush*

But even with that there came doubts and insecurities. What did I learn? I learned that no matter what, for every day that you are breathing you’ve got to keep on living. Good day, bad day, just keep living.

Ok…off to enjoy the rest of my evening. (~_~)

Happy New Year!

Nei ♡

[hi-imnei]

Back my Nei...

Give me back my Nei from circa 08 or 09. She didn't have it all, but promise was in the air and she was more than aware of great things lurking around the corner. 

But things changed. Life became strained. And now....

Please, just give me back my Nei. I miss her. I need her. Find her. Please!

[hi-imnei]

Daydreamin'

Daydreaming..all in my head…my focus unfocused…it’s like, i don’t know, so unreal…but it’s real because i feel the feelings…the joy…the pain…elation and frustration…reciprocation? maybe…then again…maybe not….