May 14, 2013
Falling back...sigh
As the excitement tapers off and reality sets in it hits me. I'm not having fun anymore. Feeling anxious and unsure about things, I think about falling back. The question is is it sabotage or self-preservation? I mean, I kinda understand how things go and I said that if given the chance I could handle it. But is this really a chance that I've been given or is it just Nei be damned? Gotta be smart...protect myself...shield the soft spot. But again, is it sabotage or self-preservation?
I don't know. I need clarity. I don't want to rock the boat, bust sometimes things need to be shaken up a bit. But what if it isn't what I thought it was turning out to be....
In "thinking" mode,
Nei