#neko characters

[phoenixyfriend]

Modern AU where all of the Sith that are obsessed with Obi-Wan are his cats.

Maul is a street cat that hates EVERYONE and bites a lot and people keep begging Obi-Wan to get rid of him for his own safety.

Dooku is an old-as-balls purebred that used to do show competitions. Very refined, but does occasionally get into fights with Anakin.

Anakin was a kitten with Qui-Gon, who died, so Obi-Wan inherited an adorable ball of fluff that kept escaping and one day had a fight that really fucked him up and now he runs hot and cold and Obi-Wan struggles to figure out how to help (you can't communicate 'this is why I kept telling you to stay inside' to a cat, they don't know most English).

Asajj came to him via cat-sitting; her owner (Ky Narec) died and Obi-Wan was just like Whelp. Mine now.

[phoenixyfriend]

Honestly I just need more fics where Maul is Obi-Wan’s rage-filled 'rescue' cat that hates everyone including him, and that people keep begging Obi-Wan to get rid of for his own safety, but he won't. Obi-Wan keeps trying to cuddle this monstrosity. Give him treats and kisses. Baby talk the thing.

Maul tries to kill Obi-Wan in his sleep. He is largely unsuccessful because he is all of five pounds, but he got kind of close to an artery one time.

[phoenixyfriend]

Every time I see fanart of a star wars character as a cat I just want to link my fic like 'yes hi hello please see Rex and his cat daughter that keeps escaping' and like

it's not even that good of a fic

But every time I see cat!Jedi I just want to share my silly fic

[phoenixyfriend]

Saw this post about Sabrina the Teenage Witch, and:

I think we need to turn Vader into a cat that, for reasons, is stuck with Leia Maybe before Alderaan explodes

@professorsparklepants: SCREAMING Leia, day 1: I hate this man and everything he stands for but I can't kill a cat. Like come on. Leia day 100: (with Cat Vader standing on her shoulders) I hate this man and everything he stands for

I can't decide how many of his limbs are still mechanical. I know it's at least one (the one Dooku cut off). Tiny kitty prostheses.

I do know he's a little bit blind (not fully, but idk kitty cataracts to parallel whatever burning alive did to his corneas), and at some point starts 'grooming' her by licking at her hair and she hates it but also laughs at him, meanly, because he hates the fact that he was too distracted to stop himself from trying to groom her like an actual cat.

He can talk, but he has Anakin Voice.

Which freaks Leia out a bit because she didn't expect him to sound so… normal.

[phoenixyfriend]

Kitty Lotor

So... I spent a few years in Naruto fandom. I’m still on the fringes of it, but when I was In Deep, there was a very popular plot for a few years. The Akatsuki (group of bad guys) would get turned into kittens, and be forced to live with someone either harmless (civilian in the real world was a popular choice) or Sensible (often Sakura Haruno).

(If you’ve ever seen “Akatsukitty,” this is what it’s about.)

And now I'm thinking of an AU where, instead of Lotor being Left For Dead in the rift, the White Lion possessed Allura and dragged him out and did a Magic to turn Lotor into a harmless kitten. Nobody is really comfortable hurting a harmless kitten, so instead the team is just... stuck caring for Kitty Lotor.

Lotor is still spitting mad and tries to swipe everyone that comes near him with his claws until Allura manages to work the excess quintessence from his system.

After that he's mostly just moody. He hangs out with Kaltenecker a lot.

Or Shiro

Also...

Zethrid: WHERE'S LOTOR. Allura: He... got turned into a kitten. Zethrid: What. Allura: Like Kova, but younger. Zethrid: What.

Ezor:

Ezor would be advocating to Kill The Kitten, honestly. S7 Ezor is fully embracing her sadism.

That said, if we remove the timeskip and just have the team pick up the Gals on their way out from the Castle's destruction... Well, Zethrid had a soft spot for Kova, right?

Zethrid is a cat person. In more ways than one.

Acxa: The Empire is going to fall into chaos without an Emperor. Lance: Yep, great, we'll just put Mister Meow here on the throne, that'll go SWELL.

The timing could be more variable, happen earlier, like shortly after Oriande? There are a lot of options. I just really like Kitty Lotor.

Hunk: So like... is he an Altean cat or a Galra cat or like an Earth cat or what? Pidge: Why does it matter? Hunk: What do we feed him?

Someone needs to figure out if Lotor can actually, safely eat various things. It’s possible that, for the sake of comedy, Lotor's kitty instincts kick in and he starts chasing the space mice around.

(This is where Kosmo comes in, I imagine. Someone to protect the mice.)

If it happens circa Oriande, or before S6E5, at any rate...

Keith, showing up with Romelle and Krolia: We have to take Lotor down, he's been hurting a lot of people. Allura, holding an absurdly fluffy and silky white cat: About that.

(Romelle, please don't kick the cat.)