#nekowrites

[shikonneko]

Well that happened

I wrote a Whole Thing to process what happened with MultiversalxPostxOffice and Tumblr decided that it was Too Fucking Much.

TL;DR tried to make a friend, turns out nobody liked them. I tried to be nice but I wasn’t perfect and it self-destructed in the world’s smallest drama.

TL;WTR It's a mess

Otherwise, The Attempted Apology Gist

At this point you probably think this is a long form opine on my regret over the whole situation, seeing how long it’s gone on. In a way, yes, I am sad about how things went, but not that Violet left. I, again, wish to apologize for feeling I put them in a dangerous or toxic situation that they felt they needed to extricate themselves from. That being said, I’m not sad they’re gone. A little hurt they left how they did, hurt they felt the need to destroy gifts (they were on my family Switch plan and so forceful was they need they wouldn’t even leech the spot until I needed it; I was gonna let them stay), hurt that I feel the gifts weren’t meaningful or worthwhile… hurt that I feel like I wasted my effort and time. But it was brought to my attention that the people around me didn’t want Violet there and were putting up with it for me. Husband and I understand what it’s like to have over-the-top, hard-to-deal-with personalities as friends and we persist because we feel it's important to give those people the continued effort as long as we’re not being harmed by it. So, Husband put up with Violet. Tumblr bestie put up with it because it was a time waster I think. He was mostly ambivalent about them but admitted to being overwhelmed and unimpressed with them. Long-time friend admitted he DIDN’T WANT TO PLAY GAMES WITH ME because they were around. He actually preempted my usual game night organization now that Violet’s not there.

Violet’s presence actively impacted the space of those I was trying to provide an enjoyable, comfortable space for. And that’s the thing I feel worst about. I’m sad I upset Violet, for sure, but I’m more upset that for the last 2 months people had been putting up with this for me. And I was unhappy the whole time.

[smol-neko-blog]

school kills

neko

A home of knowledge, well thats what they regard it as but have you realised most kids who talk about bullying when they were young start their story as “when I was in school...” School can create some of the worst memories for an adolescent even if they aren’t bullied. I became much much more insecure after school and felt most vulnerable at school to be really honest I still feel it when I enter class. It’s weird how I’m terrified of school sometimes, some teachers really suck. 

Studies prove that most teenagers who are depressed are depressed because of school. School doesn’t and won’t care about your differences most of the time, they’re just going to build you into a being they want. A being that gets straight A’s, wears neat clothes, works somewhere where they can earn a lot and that’s all they train you for. They don’t care if you find love or not, for schools getting a job equals getting food, getting a good human to marry and reproduce with and that’s it. That my friend is your purpose according to many teachers or what I call people claiming to have knowledge. So I wonder, when will schools develop to support the education for actually being happy. When will they teach you about        loving yourself? 

[shikonneko]

Drawing for lunch... crummy pic that caused me to start writing? Brain you missed the point. Will post later probably.

[got7fics]

brain

Author: nekowrites (lj / ao3 / aff) Pairing: JB/Jr., JB/Jackson, Jackson/Jr. Genre: Smut Rating: NC-17 Summary: Bitten by the competitive bug that lives on Jackson, Jinyoung challenges him to see who gives the best blowjobs, using Jaebum as their judge.

(read on lj) (read on ao3) (read on aff)

Thoughts: This is both super hilarious and super hot. I love how easily Jaebum gives into those two troublemakers. I have so much more to say about this fic, but I'll probably end up spoiling the entire thing...

[got7fics]

Good Enough

Author: nekowrites Pairings: gen OT7, (with a hint of Jackson/JB) Genre: Angst Rating: PG-13 Summary: ‘Fake it ‘til you make it’, the saying goes. Well, Jackson’s been faking it for months and he still hasn’t gotten anywhere. He stills hates himself. (read here) Thoughts: Ow, this is one of those fics that just hurts. We all know Jackson as the big goofball of GOT7, but Jackson-centric fics like these, god they're always amazing. When Jackson breaks down and is soft and emotional it's so beautiful and I'm so glad we've been given insight to his side like this with Roommate and his mom, because then things like this touch our hearts a little more deeply. I.E.: Jackson wondering if being a musician was really worth because he's said it. That he wonders if it was the right choice because of his mom, because it's hard. Please read this fic if you haven't.