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Invasive question for any and all women characters, but particularly Orihime:
A classic Nosy Aunties Making Heteronormative Assumptions Question: how many kids do you want to have?
Invasive Question Ask Game Orihime
Orientation: Demisexual Reluctance: The only reluctance she has in answering this is that it's Ichigo-related and her brain just kind of grinds to a halt when she thinks about him. Because she is CRAZY in love with/Horny about him.
"Ummmm... I mean, I definitely want to have at least one kid but like so much of that depends on how good a job I can get and where we live and how good the local schools are and if I tolerate being pregnant at all- like my auntie Chihiro had five kids no problem but apparently part of the problem with my parents is my mom was REALLY sick the whole time she was pregnant with me and Sora, and it's always possible I'm sterile and don't know it yet- did you know people can have like, muliple appendixes and spleens and have no idea? or blue kidneys or all their organs mirror-imaged so they're on the opposite side you'd think and never know unless someone did an autopsy on them? Bodies are so crazy there was a story on the news about a woman who was autopsied for science and her skull was like, over an inch thick and her brain 40% the size of a normal one but she was perfectly normal and had a healthy life, which science didn't think was possible but we're learning that the flesh is so much more malleable than we thought and Sorry what did you ask me again?"
(Continued Under The Cut)
--- Rukia
Orientation: Hetrosexual but so, so neurotic. Reluctance: Varies wildly by who's asking. It's a question she'd slap a stranger for, but would speculate idly on with friends at an SWA Meeting. "I don't know, I've never really thought about it- like, I want to get married someday, but it's... I guess I kind of put it on the back burner because I was trying to escape the rukongai, then pass the academy, then got adopted and promoted and there's so much work and- Well. I guess I let a lot of relationships lapse and... I don't know if I can save them." (meanwhile, Renji has been experimentally trying out his Signature as "Renji Kuchiki-Abarai" and considering catering options for the wedding for decades now.) (Byakuya has found some of these doodles and is silently stymied because he has no idea how to ask Renji *which* of the Kuchikis he's considering marrying.)
--- Tatsuki
Orientation: LESBIAN. IN ALL CAPS. Reluctance: High, until you're someone she likes, then you will be SUBJECTED- "Okay I know it's maybe a bit of a pipe dream because first I'd have to get married to another girl who wants kids, and then we'd have to adopt or find a donor but... I've always wanted kids? I like them! I like babysitting my nieces and my neighbor's kids and coaching Peewee Soccer and leading the Junior Weasel Scouts and teaching intro karate- I don't know how many I want but like- whenever I see myself in the future, its always with a gaggle of them running around, you know? Anyway, here's my list of potential names-"
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Unohana
Orientation: Dominant* *What this woman has going on is on a different axis and much, much weirder than the current vernacular describes. Reluctance: Someone who is anything less than a close friend asking ANYTHING about her personal life is a great way to lose an internal organ. Like Tatsuki though, once someone has passed the acceptable company threshold, she can be exceptionally candid.
"The very first surgery I had was a Bilateral Oophorectomy because the entire idea of carrying a parasitic organism that would reshape my body to its needs disgusted me to my core." "I don't dislike children on a conceptual level- I'm not an idiot, I know they grow up into humans I will later depend on. I just have the maternal instincts of a Cuckoo- I try to fob them off on a more parentally competent party as soon as possible. I don't know what to do with them, and the noise and stickiness irritates me, so rather than become a hazard to them, I make sure someone else is in charge of them. "-Until they hit puberty and start to be able to hold up their end of a conversation. Then they're fun. I like having a socially unguarded young thing around, they're always hysterical conversationalists. And very good for doing the weeding."
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Soi Fon
Orientation: Still working up the courage to actually say the word Lesbian, but we know. It's okay, take your time <3 Reluctance: ANYONE asking this is asking for the nearest sharp object to be forcibly driven into their eyeball. "Fuck, I don't know? I- My parents were awful awful people and I watched all my brothers die one by one and... It's not that I actively DON'T want children but- I don't think I'd be any good at it. Like. I can definitely keep a baby or toddler alive but like. How do you make friends with one? What if I go through the whole hassle of getting pregnant and giving birth and it doesn't like me? Or I can't bring myself to like it? I don't want to be a shitty parent..."
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Rangiku
Orientation: Is in for a sharp learning curve soon. Reluctance: WILL slap anyone into next Tuesday for asking.
"You know? I *thought* I wanted kids someday, but then I had to- " *gestures broadly towards Hitsugaya* "-and to be honest? I don't have the emotional or cardiac fortitude for it. My blood pressure is through the ceiling keeping an eye on him, I can't imagine the nervous wreck I'd be with one of my own!" "Don't get me wrong, I love him to hell and back and I'd become his guardian knowing what I know now without hesitation. But it's hard. It's fucking hard on me." "-Tell him that and I'll fucking skin you."
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Yoruichi
Orientation: T4T Transhet Reluctance: AEIWAM!Yoruichi is a transwoman, so if an Auntie were to ask her that, she'd actually be kind of delighted that they were taking her seriously as a woman, even if they were a little confused about the biology... She actually did want kids- At some point. Conceptually. She was planning on figuring that out when she got there. There was some half-baked plan about asking her brother Yushiro to be a donor when he came of age maybe..? ...And then after the battle with Aizen, Kisuke (Transman) told her he was four months Pregnant. Turns out they were BOTH wrong about how HRT worked and the potential side effects of her shapeshifting abilities! ...And it sent her into an INTENSE panic spiral about I'm not ready I don't know anything about babies what if I turn into a shithead like my dad? I don't want to be a housewife! oh god what if i turn into my MOM??? and more or less went on a six-week bender in which Isshin Kurosaki, an at-best-mediocre parent had to give her what for and got her head out of her ass. -And she sprinted back to Kisuke, sobbing about how sorry she was she panicked but she loves him, and she loves this baby, and we need to pick a name out for it-!!
The resulting name they came up with was so godawful that everyone else has Independently and Unilaterally decided to call the infant "Baby Labcat" instead.
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Isane
Orientation: Thinks she "just hasn't met the right man yet". The Right Man is not, per se, a man- Reluctance: HIGH. She doesn't tell her family a goddamn thing because while she loves them and they love her, her whole family is an anxious mess and will second and third guess her every move.
"I mean, I *want* Kids! I love kids, and I really think I'd enjoy being a parent... It's the marriage part I'm not sure about. I'd NEED to get married to have kids, there aren't enough hours in the day to work time and a half as lieutenant AND time and a half as a single parent! I'd need to find someone willing to be a time-and-a-half House Spouse and that's asking a LOT, for..." *gestures at herself* "...What I've got to offer, I guess."
(There is a disturbance in the force as thousands of Butches sense a beautiful woman who needs help with her self esteem and put their heads up like dogs that just heard the word 'walkies')
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Nanao
Orientation: LOL. Nope. Reluctance: HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!?
"This accursed bloodline dies with me." (grim determination that has warped back around to malicious glee)
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Nemu
Orientation: A singularly intense fascination with one Uryuu Ishida, and while calling it 'Sexual' is accurate, it's also kind of Burying the Lede. Reluctance: Actually kind of pleased that people are taking an interest in her ambitions! They will regret this :)
"Well, the creation of a descendant would be a significant technological undertaking on my behalf- I don't have reproductive organs of my own because Mayuri-sama needed room for several bespoke organs, and it's just good lab saftey to prevent specimens from breeding-" "Why are you sorry? Everything I've heard about periods sounds miserable." "You think so? Interesting. I always found the fact that I was painstakingly crafted with the best technology available a testament to how much Mayuri-sama wanted to have me, and makes me feel profoundly loved. Especially when so many of my colleagues are the result of Prophylactic Failure- "-But I Digress. Like I said, it would be a significant technological undertaking, but I wouldn't want to give my child any less love than was put into my own creation. Every parent strives to give their child every advantage- I just have the advantage of being able to optimize them on a genetic level rather than the haphazard luck of... genetic recombination...." "Um. hm..." "I'm sorry, I just realized I would need a second source of genetic material for optimal outcomes and the... extraction process... Well, Id have to do that every time, wouldn't I? Perhaps even multiple times per specimen... "-Well, to answer your question- as many as he can handle :)"
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Hallibel
Orientation: Give her a minute she only JUST became a mammal a few years ago- Reluctance: Very low! She doesn't regard this as a particularly sensitive topic and occasionally bulldozes through normal social boundaries on accident because she didn't realize that topic was taboo.
"Oh yeah, I had kids." "No back in the living world." "Bunch of the wiggly little guys. I gave birth... at least forty, maybe fifty times so like... Eleven, twelve thousand?" "I don't understand how you keep forgetting that I used to be a shark." "Honestly? I kind of liked being pregnant. You humans have such a gap between killing and eating your food, you never get to feel the life force leaving your prey's body and entering yours- It's a really special, sacred moment, you know? And feeling that energy go from their body to mine to my pups was- really made me feel like I was part of the great cycle of all things." "No the hollow hole isn't from a miscarriage. It's where I got fucking harpooned." "More? In THIS body?? FUCK THAT! I've heard all about human pregnancies, that sounds like a fucking nightmare- I honestly don't know how you can stomach it! Gah!"
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Nel
Orientation: This Function Has Not Yet Been Unlocked Reluctance: None!
"Twenty-seven babies and seventeen-six doggies and a hundered kitties and two hundred ponies and-!!"
Important Note: Nel is functionally Four.
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Yachiru
Orientation: This Function Has Not Yet Been Unlocked Reluctance: She's less offended by the question and more amused by playing stupid to make the whole conversation awkward and making the offending Auntie Cringe. ...But she also doesn't want to answer because the truth is kind of a downer:
"I've thought about it. Like kind of a lot, and... "I'm aging one year for every fifty I live. I outlived my parents when I was still an infant. If Ken-chan hadn't found me when he did, I probably would have died because nobody else would take care of a baby that would still be a baby for a hundred more years. "Who knows what the world will be like when I'm old enough to have a kid? Who knows what it will be like 1,000 years from then when they grow up? "I- I don't know if I want to have kids because either I'd give them the same lifespan I have... or bury them the same way I've buried all my friends."
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Tousen
Orientation: Sexuality Primarily defined by extreme loneliness and trauma, not genders. Reluctance: AEIWAM!Tousen is a transgender man (He is being included here in his capacity of Secretary of the Shinigami Women's Association) and if asked this, he might side-ear the asker if he thought they were trying to play stupid games with him, but it is a completely normal thing for a man to consider. Still, it's not something a stranger gets to know. "I admit, I'm very envious of Kisuke. I was born- well, I suspect I was born with an ambiguous sex. It might explain why my parents chose an androgynous name for me, but I don't have any memories before I reincarnated as a teenager. Regardless, when I finally had the opportunity to modify my body to a shape that would fit my brain... I found out I was already likely sterile, and if I wasn't, a pregnancy would be a potentially lethal risk to me." "Even before that, one of the reasons I became a teacher- far from the only or main reason, but a significant one was that... well. A blind man with ambiguous genitals and apparently the 'wrong' skin color? My romantic prospects were functionally Naught. "In another world... Sajin was my co-teacher for a long time, I know how much he loves kids and wants to be a father as well. He's never said anything, but I think he's sad that we can't have natural children as well. Both of us wanted to have large families, but attitudes in Soul Society being what they are, we probably wouldn't even be allowed to adopt. I suppose one plays the cards one is dealt."
(These men are about to have so many inadequately parented children and teens move into their house and refuse to leave.)
