#nephele is normal

[jitaewoo]

soft spot | ot8 ateez

don’t believe in love, but no one makes me feel like you do 

when the moment hits them, that they’re in love with you

pairing/au: ateez (individual) x gn!reader genre: fluff ! just cute lil moments with them (sfw)

word count: ~300-450/member nets: @mirohs-aurora-society and @illusionnet

a/n: return from hiatus that nobody asked for... done with school YIPPEE

hongjoong...

in the studio, joongie is such a workaholic! he just can’t help it… he loves his music too much, and so do you. you spend many days and nights together, him at his desk producing and writing away, while you chill on the couch working on your own stuff. sometimes, he’ll break the silence to ask for your opinion on one of his demos. you’re always eager to help him in anyway you can, jumping from your position on the couch to scurry over to him. he pulls you on his lap, placing his headphones over your ears to listen to the song so far. joong knows he is talented, he has won countless awards and receives praise from all those around him, so he is forever appreciative of your honesty when you give him your feedback. you don’t sugarcoat or just say it’s perfect every time, he can tell you take your time to fully listen to the music and give your sincere thoughts. it’s times like these when he just looks at you, fully immersed with his headphones on and looking over his written lyrics on a notepad. he knows you know how much he values his work, and his perfectionist personality. you end up discussing back and forth on how to improve the song. here you are, going over his work and suggesting changes, something most would take offence to, but he has the biggest smile on his face. having the person he cherishes the most, you, having such interest in his passion sets his heart on fire. in a world where everyone else calls him and his work perfect, you aren’t afraid to show him where he is not, and he mentally thanks you everyday for caring for him so much to push him even further to greatness. he rethinks what love is, and is this not it? 

seonghwa...

waking up together, hwa couldn’t think of a better way to start his day. hwa can’t help but be an overly-affectionate partner, cuddling you throughout the night, and always having his hands on you whenever he can. he just thinks it’s such an intimate thing, trusting someone at your most vulnerable. his heart swoons at the realisation it’s him that you trust, being able to easily doze off once you’re swaddled in bed, limbs intertwined and tangled. he usually wakes up before you, admiring your peaceful state of blissful slumber. it’s a weekend, and you both made plans to not have any plans. two full days of laziness and playing house, being able to stay in bed, eat all you want, and binge all of your favourite content. you went up to brush your teeth, and came back to find a peaceful seonghwa still in bed, not sleeping, but just laying in bed. he looked angelic against the white bedding, and you quickly leapt on top of him, easily shocking the man who was having a peaceful morning. you were both too busy laughing for him to ask what you were up to, until he sees you pull out your phone to snap some photos of him. he’s shocked, but still giggling through your strange insistence. you set your phone down to shape his hair into a heart. as you struggled to place his hair perfectly, he just stared up at you. he is 100% sure if you made eye contact with him at this moment his pupils would be heart-shaped. it’s such a simple moment, but it makes his fluttering heart stop. you finally finish his heart-shaped hair and go back to snapping photos, but the whole time he isn’t paying much attention. he is still looking at your eyes peeking over your phone, dissociating into thoughts filled with every morning for the rest of his life filled with you. making breakfast, brushing your teeth together, hearing your soft snores, cute spontaneous moments like this, and so much more he wants to experience, but only with you.

yunho...

visiting your hometown, yunho loves when you show him the streets where you come from (as the other yunho said). you both are walking hand in hand everywhere, you drag him to your favourite stores and places. the whole time you are beaming with joy, the feeling of nostalgia overtaking you. though yunho was not apart of your life in this town, he thanks god for having it shape you to the beautiful person you are today. for the last stop of the day, you drag him to a small bookstore you always loved going to as a kid. you explain to him how it was basically your second home, spending as much time as you could there. like everything else about you, he finds it so endearing. he’s grinning ear to ear as he spots a small flower stall next to it as you walk in. you both browse through the books for a bit before sitting to read to calm yourselves from the excitement of the day. an older lady comes by, and the two of you get to catching up; of course you introduce yunho, and the three of you engage in small talk before he excuses himself to the restroom. instead, he sneaks out to the flower shop, picking out a few types of your favourite flowers to quickly make you a bouquet. he wasn’t aware of the lovesick smile he wore until the florist makes a comment, saying how lucky his partner must be to be loved by him. love? you two haven’t really discussed it yet, but as he makes the bouquet, he feels tingles down his entire body at the thought of loving you. what does it mean to love? to care for someone unconditionally, accept and respect them for who they are, but what else? the florist must be a psychic at this point, as she quips “love is a feeling of incompletion, as you can never get enough of them.” all yunho does is smile, pay, and thank the florist, but on the short walk back into the store, the quote stays in his head, he is sure there will never be a time where he has gotten enough of you. even now, a simple gift of flowers wasn’t deserving enough of you, going out of his way to hand-pick and arrange one just for you. and suddenly, he realises the closest way to get enough of you is to spend everyday of his life by your side, for better or for worse.

yeosang...

late night walks, yeosang loves to stroll wrapped in the illumination of the night sky and its stars with you. his hand either intertwined with yours or at the small of your back. neither of you speak much, it is more so a silent understanding of rejuvenating breathing in the crisp air around you. sometimes your walks lead you to stop and grab a quick bite to eat or drink to sip on, but often the comfortable silence leads you both home to rest in each others embrace. late nights like this, you are both bare faced and rid of your daytime attire, strolling in lounge clothes and messy hair. this night, you decided to stop and stargaze a bit, sitting on a park bench side by side, your head resting on yeo’s shoulder as his arm lazily wraps around you. no words have to be exchanged to understand your feelings for each other, and that is what yeo admires most about you. in every star sparkling in the sky, his thoughts always trace back to you. it’s like his very being has been consumed by you, he can’t go a moment without being reminded of you. you shift, grabbing his arm to cling on to as the night breeze grows hungrier. in another moment of silent understanding, he helps you stand with him, starting to make your way back home. some people may describe love as a loud, pestering feeling you cannot ignore as hard as you try, but that isn’t true for him. the love he feels for you is a knit blanket made just for his heart by you, warming him up and comforting him constantly. there isn’t a nagging sensation or any butterflies in his stomach, just your eyes twinkling up as you look at him. did you know his whole universe is held in your gaze? 

san...

date night, san cannot live without one! even if it’s just curled up on the couch watching a movie, he loves spending as much time with you as possible, and can you blame him? this date night, you two decided to go out to dinner. a quaint little restaurant, it looked fancy but was honestly anything but. it was late, around midnight, and you two feasted to your stomach’s content. there weren’t many people in the place since it was so late, allowing you two to giggle away at any and everything. time with san was always filled with smiles and laughter, your energies meshed together so well. as san makes, yet another, silly dad joke, he sees your face light up and redden at the poor attempt of a joke. another fit of giggles ensue, and san feels it is though your souls dance in joy whenever you two are together. spending time away from you feels like spending time away from himself. he is unsure of when he became so bonded and tied to you, but all he knows is he can’t live another day without being next to you. having to end date nights dropping you off at your place and making the oh-so lonely journey back to his apartment feels so… wrong. he feels lonely the moment you step out of his car. if only he could just at least wake up to you, come home to you, something. anything to make his house actually feel like a home, because now it just feels like a prison. his steps to his bedroom are heavy and exaggerated, dreading getting into a cold, empty bed without you there. then he thinks, maybe he should be taking steps elsewhere. maybe the walk to his house are missteps, and he should be walking with you in his arms, carrying you to bed every night like the royalty you are. he didn’t realise he was lost in his thoughts until you snapped him out of them, realising he is still in the restaurant, and there you are in front of him. he looks up, and swears he sees your souls holding hands, looking down at him. delusions or not, he takes that as his sign to take the next step, it’s the only way, and it’s time.

mingi...

walking in the streets of japan, mingi loves to take you on trips with him whenever he can. visiting the world with you is truly one of his many love languages. you go back and forth snapping photos of each other, capturing the other through their perspective. you two hop from shop to shop, accumulating a small mass of trinkets and souvenirs to join the many others back home. at this point, you two have spent most of the day out, and night has fallen. mingi takes a look at you walking slightly ahead of him, the breeze kissing your face as you bask in the chill of night, covered in one of his sweaters as you bring the cuffs to warmly wrap around your hands. you took in the sights around you, and he followed your gaze, stopping at an elderly couple walking hand in hand, smiling as they spoke amongst themselves. seeing young love is always beautiful, but there’s something sweeter seeing older love. presumably, two people have adored each other so much, they decided to spend the rest of their lives together, side by side. it’s such an amazing feat, a pair working together through the highs and lows of life, always returning back to each other. to find someone so dependable with your life is beautiful, and mingi always hoped to find that person, and the moment you pop up in front of him, dragging him to another store, he realised he already has found not just that person, but his person. 

wooyoung...

road trips, wooyoung loves it when it’s just you, him, and the open road. day trips are a common form of a date for you two. best believe whenever you both have a few days off, the gas tank will be filled and bags packed. sometimes, woo pushes you in the car with him to drive aimlessly, just hours on hours with no destination. he finds nothing more relaxing than when he finds a pretty spot to pull over at, sitting next to you on the hood of his car to take in the sights. today though, woo did have a destination in mind, not that he told you of course. he found the prettiest resort just a few hours away, and his mind was set on whisking you away with him there as soon as possible. so here you are, in the passenger seat singing along to your collab playlist. in your eyes, he looks prettiest when he’s driving, features relaxed as his hand rests on your thigh. sometimes you play silly road games together, but often the drive is filled with meaningless banter and questionable singing (on your part). wooyoung loves getting away from work and his life with you like this, going to a town where nobody knows either of you. all the pressure is subsided as you two can be carefree and have no responsibilities, the perfect escape. one thing he never wants to escape though, is you. no matter where life takes him, he needs you to be at his side, and he knows you always will be. he steals a glance over at you, sleeping against the window, and he wishes he could snap a photo to make it last forever. even though this time will come and go, he’ll hang onto your memories together forever. he briefly removes his hand on your thigh to his own, feeling the box shape in his pocket. he wasn’t ever unsure of you, of your love, but now he knows for certain. to a lifetime of love, laughter, and driving. 

jongho...

when you make him tea. everyone loves jongho’s voice, how could anyone not? but the curse of his angelic voice was not having many breaks. even in between the tours, the comebacks, the fansigns, and countless other events were vocal trainings and practises. jongho thanked all the gods above that his voice still hasn’t given out at this rate, especially since he doesn’t do too much to take care of it. after a long day of recording, he dramatically shuffles through your shared apartment door as soon as it clicks open. as always, you welcome him with open arms, which he graciously falls right into. he grunts as a high pitch whistle pierces the serene moment you two shared. begrudgingly, he follows your cue to sit at the kitchen counter, you on the other side pouring the hot water in a to go cup, loose leaf tea in a cute little strainer you purchased years ago. “let it steep for a few minutes and cool, then drink up!” he chuckled at your instructions, as if he had never drank tea before. he stirs the herb-infused water around with the antique spoon from the set you spent way too much on when apartment shopping together. you pick the spoon out of his cup, popping on a lid and once again dragging him out the door, insisting he needs to walk a bit to relax. truth is, he wanted nothing more than to just rot in bed for a bit, but he must admit it’s nice to properly stretch his sore legs after the days he has had. small talk goes on between you two, but he cannot help but look at you with such adoration in his eyes. you always take such good care of him, even with small moments like this which do not go unseen by him. oh, how lucky he is to have someone care for him as much as you do. soon, he thinks to himself, he’ll make sure there is no doubt in your mind of his love for you. 

a/n 2: sorry these kinda suck ?? getting back into writing so gimme a bit for me to lock back in fr pls <3

[jitaewoo]

journey mercies | mark lee

missing mark hours, until we meet again <3 no content warnings... just seeing mark years in the future unexpectedly. not proof-read, truly just got home from a long drive looping journey mercies and this was born! 1.7k words

a little piece of you dies each time you catch a glimpse of that box you keep tucked away in your wardrobe. luckily though, you have worked your way to making the parts that chip off in grievance smaller and smaller since the years have gone by. when you think of it now, you laugh at your younger self for being so caught up over it. life goes on for everyone, why would he be exempt? looking back now, you can see the bit of selfishness you had for wanting him to stay, but as you grew older and went through your own life phases, you started to understand him more. you can think of the past and the memories now in a more fond way. the world and life all seemed so big at the time, but you have since been able to carve your own path to follow a journey, one which has been devastatingly merciful towards you. 

some days, you open the box. you’ll never forget what’s in there—how could you? this box serves as a time capsule, a symbol of what your life once was and what you represent. the contents of this box got you through some of your worst years, and gave you hope for a better future, one you wanted to say hello to and not run away from. this box acts as a reminder of the rainbow that comes after it rains in heaven. this box is your youth, filled with dream. 

today is one of the days you sort through the box. you giggle at some of the contents, oh how much work you put into some of these things. you don’t think you can ever erase all the nights lacking sleep in exchange for a pair of tweezers in your hand placing gems and stickers so delicately and precisely. you pick one of the items up, the nostalgic face of what used to be stares back at you. you run your eyes over every inch of the small piece, still in pristine condition. for some reason, it feels right to take it with you today. you feel as though you can hear something calling for you. 

your days are usually boring. wake up, get ready, work, get unready, sleep, repeat. you mean it when you say your life has been devastatingly merciful. not that you necessarily want something outrageous to happen, but sometimes you hope that maybe you’ll stumble a little bit on your way to work. or maybe you’ll run into an old college friend. oh, or maybe you’ll accidentally walk into an event happening and get swooped up in the crowd. none of this ever happens of course. nothing ever really happens, this is real life—not those silly stories you used to read. all the princess or damsel in distress stories your mother read to you growing up have never happened, and they never will—same with all of the wild stories you used to read on your own later in life. there's a thick line between fiction and reality, and you’ve made sure it’s never thinned out or been blurred. 

you work a corporate job, of course you do, you are in your 30s, it’s what is expected. again, your life is nothing to rave about. you're wearing a matching set of slacks and a jacket, a pair of tall heels on your feet. you’ve perfected your walk so well from daily repetition that you know exactly where to step to avoid bumps and dents in the pavement. the street is busy, it always is. you’re in new york, the concrete jungle where dreams are made of. at least, that’s what you used to think it was. when you finally moved here, you realised it wasn’t too different from any other city you’ve been to. everywhere all around the world is just filled with people trying to survive and live another day, of course you are one of them. sure. when you were younger you thought maybe you would be one of the few people who broke free from the norm, someone who was able to do something different with their life and be lucky to not work a 9-5. oh, how naive you were. now, you realise happiness isn’t always found where you most expect it, you can find happiness and joy in the oddest things. you can find peace in a place which may seem like it’s a downgrade from your current life, you actually learned that years ago from watching someone else leave.

which is why your life doesn’t bother you. sure, it’s a bit repetitive and the job itself isn’t stimulating, but that’s not where you get your happiness from. you get you smiles out of seeing maple leaves in the fall. you blush whenever you see a rainbow in the sky. you find amusement out of people looking at you crazy when you twirl under the raining sky. your joy doesn’t have to make sense to others, it only has to make sense to you. 

so, when you step out of work, and hop onto your usual train, everything is just that: usual. your headphones are in, and you’re listening to your playlist that reminds you of your younger days, days filled with a bit more innocence. the people on the bus are all the usual folks in their usual places. the bus ride is the usual length it always is. you get off at your usual spot, walking your usual route back home.

musical melodies fill your ears as you stroll across to the park—this is not usual. if this was usual, you would have kept going straight to your apartment, but again, something is calling you to stray from your usual for the second time today. 

you take your headphones out, ears perked up around the new sounds you’re hearing. amongst the wind blowing the trees and birds chirping, you can hear the faint strumming of a guitar. odd, you think to yourself, as it is nearing night time and the sky has already painted itself dark with only the faint luminescence of some stars lighting your way. though, you keep walking toward the noise. you feel something akin to that of someone tugging at your heart strings to pull you towards the steadily growing sound of an acoustic guitar as a voice becomes heard as well. 

the faint murmurs and guitar strums become louder and louder until you can see the back of someone’s head. he’s just there, sitting down on a short stone row. you can see his head bobbing and shaking and nodding along to the lyrics he is singing to a song you can’t quite make out yet. you keep making your way, nobody in the area except you two. you round the corner, gently to both not scare him and try and calm your mind down from the situation. 

today is so not usual. your feet are starting to hurt from your high heels, the material of your suit has become itchy and tight and irritating. the watch on your hand burns and it feels as though it is digging deep into your skin tissue. even the star necklace you have worn around your neck for ages feels like a cinderblock weighing you down and you have to try your best to keep afloat. your head feels heavy and all you want to do is lay down on a pillow and go to sleep. though, you prevail, today is not usual, but why did it end up this way? 

just as you turn the corner, the voice finally clears and you are able to make out the lyrics. 

“my life is in pieces,” you slow down, convinced that your mind is playing tricks on you. 

“but you can always put it back together with your fragments.” you feel your eyes water, unsure of what to make of everything. you reach inside your work bag, pulling out the item from your time vessel of a keepsake box you took this morning. 

“i want you to be my everything.” your mind is racing, why would someone be singing this song out of every other song out there? and why have your feet led you down this path?

you finally turn the corner and face the singer, which knocks the breath out of your lungs. you still, eyes scanning over his now aged features, from the smile lines prominent around his lips, the crinkles at the corner of his eyes, his fingers now a bit calloused, even a single grey hair peeking from the messy part in his hair. 

“can we still end our messages, with wishes that are lifelong?” 

he’s finishing the song, ending with the ohs and ahs that come at the outro. you can’t help but squat down, the weight of your star necklace finally succeeding in pulling you down. everything feels too much—you thought you were over it, over him, and you were! how could you expect to find him singing this late at night at some random park by your apartment in new york, you’ve had this routine for years and never strayed, it never changed—so why now? 

your head is in your hands, and you are clutching the precious item from your adolescence which is related to the song that played and the feelings you are being drowned in. you move your free, empty hand to your neck, feeling the star necklace which is also reminiscent of the scene unfolding before you. you feel a hand around yours, and you grip the small plastic holder tiger, but not tight enough for him as he easily pries it out of your hands. you can immediately feel his warmth around you. it’s been so long since you have felt his presence, and honestly, you didn’t realise just how much you needed it right now. you think of how he looks now. he's aged a bit, and you couldn't be happier, every faint line and fold and marks across his skin comes from a time in his life he had to himself, not to the spotlight. you lightly cry as you come to the realisation it seems he finally got what he always wanted—freedom.

you finally look up, and he’s matching your position—squatted down right in front of you with his guitar slung across his back. he still has the same stupid smile from all those years ago, the one you committed to memory and lived seeing photos of. 

and just as all the memories of your youth filled with dream flood back to you, he asks:

“it’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

[jitaewoo]

orange juice | psh

you turn oranges to orange juice

⚔︎ warnings: ed comfort! hurt/comfort. extensive descriptions and mentions and scenes of restrictive eating, purging, and the thoughts/feelings behind an eating disorder. sunghoon helps the reader through her physical purging, her thoughts, and helps guide her toward a path of recovery. female collegiate volleyball athlete reader. potentially triggering toward those who have experienced eating disorders.

a/n: this is very self-indulgent, as i have been personally struggling more with my ed lately. recovery is possible, even if it does not seem so. i hope the best for all of you, and my dms are open if you need to talk <3

it’s the same routine everyday, you can’t help it. something about the taste of food in your mouth and the feeling of the chewed remnants in your guts make it churn. you try to stomach it, you really do, but without fail you always run to the bathroom, dying to get it out of your system. you don’t know exactly when it started. growing up in a society that pushed for women to be coke skinny, lurking on tumblr and coming across thin women bragging about their thigh gaps, and even magazines at the grocery store bullying women for being anything over 100 pounds probably did it. you often picked up those magazines as a young girl, flipping through the pages to find the ‘hidden secrets’ they claimed would make you lose weight quickly. but when did it evolve into this? into barely being able to keep food down? you’re not too sure when it happened. 

another day, same routine.

your volleyball team is having a pasta night for the big tournament this weekend. it was tradition, you guys either cater huge pans of pasta or decide to go out. this time, you all decided to go to a local authentic italian restaurant, the best in town. and you are determined this time, you know how good the pasta is and you want to be able to enjoy a plate with your teammates.

you take your fork and twirl the long pasta noodles to form a cocoon. you opted for a simple red sauce pasta, hoping the small amounts of dairy and pure vegetables will help you stomach the food. you chat with your teammates as you keep twirling; you look like a kid picking and playing with their food. eventually, you pick the fork up, long thin noodles covered with the marinara sauce, and a little piece of tomato even gets caught up in all your twirling. you bring it to your mouth, holding your breath in to barricade the scents around you. now, it’s in your mouth and you chew slowly to get your tastebuds accustomed to the textures and flavours. it tastes good, you can admit that, and a small smile adorns your face as you successfully swallow it down without too much trouble.

after more talking, and chugging many glasses of water, you are able to finish your entire plate, something which you have not been able to do in a long time. 

however, the contentedness and ease don’t last very long.

as you get into your car to drive back to your apartment, you feel your stomach churn. that all too familiar feeling of nausea starts to creep up, but fast. you press on the pedal a bit heavier as you feel the noodles slithering their way back up your esophagus, threatening to travel further up to the base of your throat. finally, you make it home. you are so caught up with running to your bathroom, you don’t even notice the extra pair of shoes at your front door as you make a beeline to the toilet. 

bliss, that’s what it feels like. well, in the moment it feels like hell. the contents of your lively team dinner make it’s way past your dry, parted lips as you retch and retch and retch into the poor toilet bowl. you feel bad, all the days and nights you’ve acquainted yourself with it makes it feel like a second bed though. the countless times you have had your arm thrown over the side of the seat, your head resting on it as you breathe deeply to regain any sense of composure. 

but once you even your breathing and brush your teeth, a little too aggressively, it feels like you are on cloud nine. the quietness of your home stirs and you can lay in your bed, having the horrid feeling out of your system. 

however, you didn’t quite make it to those parts.

living alone, you developed the habit of not closing doors. why would you? it’s not like anyone would walk in and catch you on the toilet or changing in your room. so, when you feel someone’s smooth palm rubbing your back, and the other gathering your hair out of the way, you lurch. ever aware of your current state, you jolt further into the toilet, getting the rest out of your system before you spray your agony on them, even if they are an intruder. 

once you are confident you have gotten it all out, you finally turn to look at what kind robber is soothing you at your most vulnerable. you can only imagine your face as you eyes widen with shock and horror at the concerned look on your boyfriend’s face as he takes a damp cloth to wipe your face. 

wordlessly, he reaches over to draw a warm bath for you. there are no words exchanged as he helps you strip out of your clothing and brush your teeth for you, ever so gently, while the bath water pours into the tub. he takes some of your soap and pours it under the running water, a faint smell of eucalyptus and lavender filling your senses and overpowering your earlier activity. he helps you to carefully get in, every touch of his reposeful as he treats you like fine china that might break. and as soon as he dips your washcloth to cleanse you, salty tears drain from your eyes to join the water surrounding you.

he drops the washcloth and kisses your forehead, a tender yet all knowing moment of you both understanding what’s happening. sunghoon went through the exact things you are, but as a renowned figure skater. he knows both the physical and mental turmoil sports take on your body, especially the harder and more competitive you compete. and while he knew this was a problem, especially one that you struggled with, he didn’t know it was quite to this extent.

you watch him as he stares at your face, and you can tell he’s putting the pieces together. how when you eat you only eat small portions, claiming you eat more, smaller meals a day. the way that you often go to the bathroom after eating. he knew you always brushed your teeth after eating anything, but he innocently assumed it was because you were diligent with your oral care, not that the taste of food in your mouth alone could cause you to gag and convulse. 

you see as a few tears slip past his long, dark eyelashes. he doesn’t even take the time to wipe them off as he cradles your face in his hands, looking into your eyes this time. and he whispers, 

“i’m so sorry.”

you shake your head, he has nothing to be sorry for. this is your problem and your problem alone. you feel horrible that you’ve brought him into it. you feel horrible as he was probably just trying to surprise you after dinner with cuddles and watching the dozens of media on your list. but you know your boyfriend, and he knows you inside and out, so it doesn’t surprise you when he reads your mind.

“i’m sorry you didn’t feel comfortable sharing this with me. but i promise i will help you through this. we’re in this together, yeah?”

you nod your head, he always knows just the right things to say to ease your overly anxious mind. eventually, he finishes cleaning you as he praises you for how strong you are, giving you affirmations of how he is so proud of you. 

he dries you off and changes you into some pajamas, which he picks out to be one of his many tshirts and comfy shorts. you both crawl into bed as he pulls you into him, playing with your hair softly as he presses many sweet kisses all over your face.

it doesn’t matter to him that he just say you pouring your guts out 30 minutes ago, he thinks you look beautiful as always right now, snuggled next to him. 

the serene silence doesn’t last very long, not that you expected it to. you knew that you both couldn’t just carry on pretending like he isn’t now overly aware of your mental struggles. 

“you know, people always say that ‘you are so much more than your body,’ but i don’t think that’s fair.”

you look up at him questioningly, where is this going?

“i think your body deserves more credit.” he holds your hand in his, intertwining your fingers against his. 

“your body has been with you your entire life, it has gotten you to where you are today. it has gotten you through all the hardships you’ve unfairly gone through. it has helped you laugh at my terrible jokes.” he pauses as you both chuckle at the remark. and you are happy he’s still being his usual, dry humoured self. 

“it has gotten you through all the workouts, conditioning, and training to earn you a starting position at one of the top volleyball schools in the nation. and, more importantly, it has allowed me to meet you. it has allowed me to see and understand and love you.”

you feel your eyes prick up with tears, and you notice his eyes mimicking your watery state. 

“it has gotten you to each and every date i planned. it has helped your brain love me and make me feel like i am the luckiest guy ever to be graced with you by my side.” 

he presses you closer to him, and you feel his steady heartbeat as it soothes you into a calmer peace of mind. 

“i think we should both treat it a little nicer. we can start slow, i can make you your safe, comfort foods. we can start with little bites to get you accustomed with keeping it down. and if you ever feel the need to run to the bathroom, i’ll take your hand and lead you there.”

“i don’t want you to think i’m judging you, so if it takes some more time of you feeling like this and not getting better, i won’t ever leave your side.” he finally takes his other hand and wipes some of your tears away, then does the same to his own.

“of course i want you to get better, but you also have to want to get better, for yourself.”

you sigh, almost defeatedly. but you know this is for the better, you are hyperaware that you cannot keep living like this. in your logical mind, it seems so trivial. but you can’t help the feeling that grows on you when you think of eating. 

“i love you so much, and i promise you, we’ll get you through this together. i’ll help you look for a therapist and dietican whenever you’re ready. i want you to get all the support you need.”

you sigh again, but this time at your boyfriend. again, sunghoon has his way with words, especially the ones he speaks to you. he doesn’t shame you or make you feel pathetic for your struggles, and he knows you’re going to need more than his loving support to fully recover without feeling like he’s not enough. he knows just what you need, and he doesn’t bring you there himself, but helps you through your journey of self-discoverance and wellness wherever and whenever you need it. 

you find yourself to actually look forward to getting better. the thoughts and dreams have crossed your mind, the idea of being able to go out to eat with sunghoon and fully enjoying whatever meal is in front of you guilt-free. but it all seemed so far away before, so impossible. you felt like that was a life you didn’t deserve to experience and live.

but now, with your new-found confidence spearheaded by the love of your life, it doesn’t feel so hard anymore. of course, there is going to be ups and downs, that’s with any hardship. but, now that you know you have and can get more proper support, your dreams of growing old with sunghoon seem in reach. 

“let’s start with getting some rest for your big tournament this weekend. i can’t wait to see how well you do with the body you have worked so hard on to get you there.”

[jitaewoo]

soft spot | ot7 nct dream

don’t believe in love, but no one makes me feel like you do 

when the moment hits them, that they’re in love with you

mark: when you surprise him at the studio with his favourite snacks.

knowing your boyfriend more than he knew himself, you figured he would be starving at the studio. when he left you that morning, he told you he would be gone all day, working. you never bothered him on days like these, you knew how in the zone he would get, and you refused to disrupt his creative flow. however, when it starts to near midnight, you decide to take matters into your own hands. you stopped at a convenience store and got all of his favourite snacks and drinks to bring, things that were quick and easy to eat so he wouldn’t have to worry. in the studio, mark was so locked in that he didn’t even hear you walk in. it wasn’t until he saw a bag of food being poured onto the table beside him that he looked up and saw you. even though it was past midnight at this point, your face bare with pimple patches, messy hair, and his oversized hoodie thrown over your body, mark sees you as an angel. it was as if his hunger and stomach growling was bluetoothed to your brain. he pulled you into his lap and started to work on feeding you both. mark couldn’t remember the last time he felt loved like this. you weren’t upset at him for not being with you, or even talking to you, all day, but just upset that he wasn’t taking care of himself. the way you just sat in his lap and busied yourself on your phone while he worked away on his laptop brought him the most peace he has ever felt. to be loved is to be understood, and you understood him the best. 

renjun: when he catches you singing to his music.

obviously you listened to his music, he was the love of your life, why wouldn’t you? renjun knew this too, but when he unlocks your apartment with the spare key you gave him and hears you singing to rains in heaven, something stirred within him. there you were, sat on your living room sofa, singing all the lyrics perfectly as you worked away at whatever was at hand. you hadn’t noticed him walk in yet, so he took a moment to appreciate your heavenly voice. even if you can’t sing too well, he thought you sounded like an angel. however, he couldn’t help but notice whenever his lines were up, you would remain quiet. finally, he approached you, greeting you with a hug and kiss as he sat next to you. curiosity gets the best of him,a nd he asks why you don’t sing his parts. when you answer that it’s because you want to hear his voice, he feels the blush creeping up on his cheeks. it’s the sweetest thing someone has ever told him, and he can’t do anything but kiss your cheek, letting you get back to work. while you returned to your task, he sat there and created a playlist of both of your favourite songs, planning on now having karaoke nights with him as you sung song after song. he loved singing, and he loved you. now that he knows you feel similarly, he can’t wait to rewrite songs with you in mind. 

jeno: when you both go on a bike ride, and you stop to take a picture of the sunset.

jeno always knew you were absolutely stunning, it’s one of the things that first drew him to you. of course, he loved every part of you, but he didn’t realise just how in love with you he was. bike rides were one of you and jeno’s favourite ways to hang out, being in each others’ presence in beautiful nature reconnected you two every time. often, at the midway point you stopped for snacks, and would sit together before heading back home. this time, you two went on a bike ride quite late. while riding on the usual trail, you stopped and wanted to snap a few photos of the sunset. jeno always rides a few feet behind you, for “protection” he says. so, when he stops to see why you were stopped, and catches you basking in the sunset, the light shining a glorious pink and orange aura around you, he thinks you look more beautiful right now than you ever have. and it only gets worse for him when you turn around, smiling at him, pointing at how pretty the sky looks. he only grins back, stands his bike up, and walks over to kiss you on the cheek. your smile never leaves your face, and you laugh as you continue admiring the sky. jeno always thought it was cheesy to say you were the better view, but he gets it now. not even the nature that the gods created could compare to the smile on your face. 

haechan: when you welcome him into bed after a long day.

walking into his dorm, he wanted nothing else but to be in your arms. the days have been long, and he’s had a lot of work and stress. so when he walks into his room and, to his surprise, sees you there reading a book, he almost falls to his knees. you peek up from your book, hair put up for the night and glasses on, with one of his shirts on. you wave him over, and he just flops right on top of you into your waiting open arms. his head falls on your chest, and you repeatedly pet his hair with one hand and rub his back with your other. when he hears you whisper “i love you, i am so proud of you. now get some rest, love.” he feels as though he wants to melt into you and never separate from you. he looks up to see you now scrolling on your phone, while your other hand still plays with his hair. he mutters a low “i love you too.” as he closes his eyes and dreams of his future with you by his side, forever. 

jaemin: when you’re in a cafe together.

you and jaemin had gone on a walk, but neither of you had checked the weather. so, when it started pouring in the middle of your walk, you both ran to the nearest shelter, which conveniently turned out to be a cosy little coffee shop. you went to the bathroom in an attempt to freshen and dry up as jaemin ordered two hot cocoas for you both. after you both dried off to the best of your abilities, you sat down to enjoy the warmth from the cup of chocolatey joy. all it took was for jaemin to take one good look at you, dripping wet from the unexpected rain, yet still smiling as you enjoy the cocoa and look out the window. it’s funny how you were soaking wet and shivering, then immediately warmed up as the cup heated your hands. some things just have the ability to brighten up anything. like you, the light of his life. you’re reliable and always there for him, no matter what. you love him through thick and thin, even when he’s drenched in rain water. you are his hot cocoa on a rainy day. 

chenle: when you made his favourite meal when he got back from tour.

chenle has a nice fancy house, all the money and expensive things, and even his dog, but what he doesn’t have is someone to make his house truly a home. after tour is always a bittersweet time, your body is readjusting from both the excessive adrenaline and overlooked fatigue. all chenle wants right now is to be at home, but even more than that, he wants some food from his hometown. so, when he enters his house, he thinks he has officially lost it and is hallucinating the smell of his favourite childhood dishes. following the scent like a cartoon, he lands to find you in the kitchen, apron tied and focused on the pots and pans on the stove. you turn, a large smile on your face as you go to hug your long awaited boyfriend. “you’re home! go shower and lay down, i’ll bring the food to your room!” you shoo him away and he obeys your commands. eventually, you make your way back with a bed tray filled with food. chenle waits no time to dig in and savour every drop you have so kindly made from him. when he questions how you knew the recipes, his hearts warms when you tell him how you had ‘virtual cooking lessons’ with his mom, you had been planning this ever since he left. as he looks down at the empty dishes in front of him, he tries to think of a gesture as grand and sincere as this one, and his mind turns up empty. you get up to take the tray back to the kitchen, but he pushes the tray to his nightstand and pulls you into him. he cuddles you from behind, and when daegal comes up to lay in your lap, his heart, and belly, have never felt so full. 

jisung: when you go stargazing together.

in the middle of a vast grassy field, sat you and jisung on a blanket, surrounded by many snacks and drinks. at this point in the date, you were both laid flat on the ground, your heads next to each other as jisung intertwined your fingers. your eyes were stuck on the night sky above you, looking out to the millions of stars that sparkled brightly back at you. jisung was also looking at the stars, but not at the sky, he admired the way they reflected in your open eyes. the way the twinkled when you subtly shifted your eyes or when you eyes scanned over the dark night sky. jisung always loved looking at the stars, often staring out of windows to get lost in them, but he realised he’s slowly started to prefer watching them through your eyes. feeling someone staring at you, you turn to him quickly covering your lips with his, a sweet and passionate kiss that spelt out his love for you. he knew he was in love when all of his favourite things started to include you in them. he wanted to experience the rest of the world with you, and he prayed that you would allow him to do so. 

a/n: live laugh love keshi ! stream requiem, this is based off of his song soft spot