#nerdybisexualtendacies

[nerdybisexualtendacies]

Just a few things I want. I swear I've been a good girl this year.

[nerdybisexualtendacies]

Hey guys

I've been the hospital and found out that I have a viral infection and anemia that lead to a heart murmur. That is actually starting to hurt because my body isn't producing enough red blood cells. So my heart has to pump harder and faster but it's a straining at the same time. Plus I'm looking at a 6 grand hospital bill. I work two part time Jobs that barely give me hours so how the hell am I suppose to pay that? Plus I'm on bed rest and you can't make money on bed rest. The only good news is that my mom and aunt are coming out here to vegas to take care of me. Oh and maybe bring my nephew. He brings such joy in my life.

[nerdybisexualtendacies]

That one time I did a photo shoot for my ex boyfriend for valentines day

[nerdybisexualtendacies]

Okay so I'm having an anxiety attack

I'm usually very confident and can talk to people at anytime. Today my older sister said she wants to talk. Now for most of your probably like why is freaking out over her sister wanting to talk to her? Well I have communication problems with my sister to say the least. She tends to make me feel completely and utterly stupid, she makes me believe that all my choices are wrong and that she knows what's best for me and she belittles me in every way possible, So when she says we need to talk I instantly try to find ways to avoid her. Like today I fell off our balcony just because I knew she was downstairs and I wanted to go out a get a burrito. That's how much I hate talking to her. I sort landed on my back kind of hard but I managed to get back up on the balcony and into my room undetected. The only bad part is I didn't get my burrito. So yeah that's the story of how desperate I am to avoid this talk. 

[nerdybisexualtendacies]

Sooooooo let's all take a moment...

and hope to god I'm not pregnant. If in ten days I don't get my little friend back and continue to feel like how I am feeling today I have to take pregnancy test which then will tell me I'm more than likely pregnant. Just what I wanted for my 22nd birthday to be pregnant with my first child. (voice dripping with sarcasm) Who ever is in charge of running the show don't let this be I have so much things  I want to do like go to Extreme Thing at the end of the month which I can't do if I'm pregnant cause my boyfriend will be too scared that I will hurt the baby or something. Oh god what will my mother think she already has 8 other grandchildren. Anyways lets all hope that this all just some stupid bug I caught and will go away.

[nerdybisexualtendacies]

Why I am the best Girlfriend EVER!!!

So tonight is our anniversary and I'm cooking his favorite meal and made him cheese cake which once again is his favorite. He works so hard everyday so I want to make tonight all about pleasing him. I've got a romantic playlist together cleaned my room set some candles. I do everything I can be the best girlfriend and all I want in return is for him to be happy. :)

[nerdybisexualtendacies]

I'm so tired...

Of people constantly judging me for what they think they know. I live in heart of ghetto of LA  and people give me strange looks because I wear docs, leather jackets, big headphones and band shirts. People say I'm a sell out because I don't listen to songs with no depth. Guys think I'm stuck up and a bitch because I don't respond to kissing noises and whistling. Girls give me dirty looks because I'm pretty and their man is looking at me. They call me a hoe because I wear things that show off my shape. 

Then there is the other side of spectrum that judge me as a trouble maker because I dress the way I do. A weirdo because I dance and sing in public. I smile too much so must be up to something. Since I'm not buying something I am clearly stealing. Because I don't have a ton of shopping bags I'm oblivious a broke.

The one place I should feel accepted is at shows that music promotes togetherness and to love yourself and others but even there people look at me like I don't belong.

I tell you one thing none of you are going to change me. I will be that girl jamming in the middle of grocery store or the girl smiling for no apparent reason. I'm going to dress the way I want because I do it for me not you. If you have problem with this you can go fuck yourself. Cause I'm done with trying to contain myself so other feel comfortable around me.

So in other words I'm gonna do me.

[nerdybisexualtendacies]

How does someone know they are gay?

Some people are just lucky enough to know what their sexual orientation is right off the back. Some find out when the get older and their attractions is same sex orientated. Some people go their whole life afraid of what they feel or choose to ignore it due to society or family views. I was just one the lucky ones I knew I was attracted to both sexes. Just listen to yourself and if you aren’t sure go out and try it their is no harm in trying to discover who are. Shit that’s the whole point of growing up. And if anyone gives you shit for it put two middle fingers in the air and tell you don't care.