Long, sappy post warning. After shattering my ankle during a cx race in 2019, I wasn’t sure I wanted to come back to cx. I wasn’t sure I could get past that freak accident. It’s a little hard to forget about it and move on when I still feel that pain and discomfort every single day. When I joined @dirtykittenracing, I knew a lot of those ladies raced cross. I knew this was a real team. Not a local shop sponsored team but a real team with sponsors and riders from all over the country. I felt like they made a mistake inviting me on. Imposter syndrome was hitting me hard. I put in a crazy long endurance season this year. Riding more miles than ever before with @thecrusherrace and pushing my limits. But being on the team, I put pressure on myself to continue pushing into cx season even though I was struggling mentally with getting to the start line. I told myself I was only going to race single speed because that’s where the party is but after long conversations with fabulous teammates and friends, I also decided to jump into the womens cat 3. The fear of finishing last and failing was crushing me. But I made it to the start line and you know what? Nothing bad happened when I was last. None of my friends abandoned me. The team didn’t kick me off. People still cheered for me. It was OK. I had fun. I had so much fun, I kept doing it - racing both single speed and masters cat 3! My season culminated in this giant smile as I rolled up to the start line in a tutu and cat ears surrounded by my teammates and the best racers in the country. My heart is full. I can’t wait for next year. #nevergoingtostop https://www.instagram.com/p/CXd-y-Lu3UI/?utm_medium=tumblr
