#nicktorare

[tokiro07]

Wife: Oh hey, there's a Nendroid of Tsuna Third: He looks like a bottom Wife: Oh, he's such a bottom He has to get killed first to become a top Third: What? Me: Yeah, his power is getting shot and feeling bad about it

[tokiro07]

Roommate, playing Baldur's Gate: Oh! Oh oh! It's that thing! From Dungeons and Dragons! Me: Wow, what a shocking cameo

[tokiro07]

Wife: You can get free shipping on this thing Roommate: Cool, fuck shipping! Me: I dunno, I still want Monet and Law to kiss... Roommate, who does not watch One Piece: Law? Trafalgar Law? Me: Ye-⚆_⚆ Roommate: Is that not his name?? Me: No, it is, that's why I'm surprised

[tokiro07]

Me: I've got bad news and good news Third: I like my dessert first, gimme the good news Me: ...Okay Good news is, I killed it Wife: O_O Killed what?? Me: The bad news

[tokiro07]

Wife: Fate and Genshin are both on Unity They probably both have a lot of pull, so if they complain, I don't know how that would go for Unity I'm not sure how hard it would be for them to switch to a different engine - Me: *Bane voice* It would be very painful Third: *Bane voice* For U-nity

[tokiro07]

My roommate is taking a nap and every time he snores he’s making the clicking noise from that song in Death Stranding

I keep expecting someone to chime in with “Faintly / I’ll go / To take this / He-ead oon”

[tokiro07]

Third: Breh Wife: Don't you 'breh' me! Third: I 'breh'd' you! Me: I don't like you just declaring out loud that you bred our wife

[tokiro07]

Me: "You're gay because you love women"

Roommate: "I'm gay because I hate men. We are not the same."

Me: ...Wait, we got it backwards.

Roommate: Did we?

Me: ...No, it's perfect. "I love women so much I won't subject them to me. I hate men so much that I MAKE them put up with me!"

Roommate: *Orson Welles voice* Yes, it's even better WRONG!