tw; mentions of suicide & drugs
you didn’t feel so good. it all happened too quick. the trip to the rehab center, the visit to her grave, her mother finding you—
it wasn’t the most comfortable situation; to be in the same car as your dead best friend’s mother, whom you didn’t have the guts to face. even though she had told you she understood your reason for not being able to attend the funeral, you yourself couldn’t accept it. it felt like you betrayed her, your second family; and didn’t want to face them.
however you couldn’t keep it in. “im sorry.” you blurted out, breaking the silence between you two.
she gave you a glance, confusion clouding the motherly eyes, “what are you sorry for my dear?”
you opened your mouth to respond but nothing came out. you couldn’t swallow the lump forming in your throat and next thing you knew gentle tears were streaming down your face. “im sorry i couldn’t come to her funeral. i-i regret to this day and i just—i can’t forgive myself for it. a-and you shouldn’t as well.”
her features softened at your confession, her lips forming a sad smile, “y/n, darling how can i be mad you? asking you to come to her funeral while you were facing so many things was wrong of me, and there’s nothing to forgive because what you did was not wrong but a reasonable action. and i know for a fact homura would understand you too.”
you really wanted to believe her but the sick twisting though in you made you believe otherwise. akito was right, what kind of a friend were you? you could’ve came back to hyogo from time to time to check up on her, make sure she was okay. how didn’t you pick up any clues from her lack of energy whenever you two face-timed? “that’s what you might think but still-”
“no y/n, i am not having this debate with you. it’s not your fault and i hope you learn to accept that. don’t listen to what akito says, he’s taking it harder than any of us did. he still can’t accept the fact that she took her own-” she couldn’t finish the sentence, a broken sob leaving her. she pulled the car over to catch her breath, it was dark outside and driving with a blurry vision could result in an accident. something you didn’t want to experience again.
“im sorry dear, i’ll continue driving in a minute.” she gave you weak smile. “it’s okay auntie suzuki, i would prefer that you continue driving when you feel better anyways.” you reached out to squeeze her hand and she responded back the same way.
“...how’s your mother y/n?” she asked you carefully. it was still a sore subject for you. even after a year your mother hadn’t made much progress in recovery although she was at the best rehab center. “she isn’t exactly doing well...she had a seizure today.” you looked down at your lap, fiddling with your fingers.
“oh—y/n that’s horrible! how did it—how is she doing?”
“i honestly don’t know. it’s like she doesn’t want to get better and i don’t understand why! and i have mo idea how this happened when she’s in a rehab center, maybe she still has connections with her dealers? but isn’t the rehab center supposed to be safe and guarded?” your hands were starting to shake, it was too much to take in. you couldn’t believe your ears when you got the call, you were paralyzed in your spot and for a second you had thought that maybe this was it; this was how you lost your last family member.
hands reached out to keep you steady, bringing your body closer to lay on her chest. she hugged you tightly, “shh it’s going to be okay dear, i know it will be. have you talked to her about it?” you shook your head, leaning further on her chest, “no—she still blames me for his death...” you could hear her sigh as she smoothed out your hair, “don’t believe her y/n, it wasn’t your fault and any person with the right mind can see that. now let’s get you home shall we?”
you nodded, getting back to your original position; leaning agains the window watching the scenery pass by as you guys started to drive back home.
took me a while to get the written portion done but here it is :)) this has a big explanation about y/n’s past and and questions will be answered in the upcoming chapters
would love your opinions on it so far and feel free to ask any question you guys have!!
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