#nightly reflections

[hxyaati]

Happiness is attained by three things: being patient when tested, being thankful when receiving a blessing, and being repentant upon sinning.

-Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyya

[terrormask40]

[ellythehuman]

In my emotions and in my head. I think about what I have and what I can do. I'm not entirely satisfied, but what I don't realize is that there is something. Something that can make me happy. I can't see it now, but I'll try looking up.

[iammyss]

The cure to all your woes has always been within you.

You've just been hurting yourself more by looking everywhere else. Breath, journey inward, and find the answers you've been seeking.

[prettywordsdie]

My final poem, for you...

Fuck this, Fuck you. Fuck this, Fuck you. Fuck this, Fuck you. Fuck this, Fuck you. Fuck this, Fuck you. Fuck this, Fuck you. Fuck this, Fuck you. Fuck this, Fuck you. Fuck this, Fuck you. Fuck this, Fuck you. Fuck this, Fuck you. Fuck this, Fuck you. Fuck this, Fuck you. Fuck this, Fuck you. Fuck this, Fuck you. Fuck this, Fuck you. Fuck this, Fuck you. Fuck this, Fuck you. Fuck you very much sir. Love, Drea

[101storie]

When it comes to people.

Okay so, I wanted to write about my interactions with people either lately, in the past, or in the future. I do believe I am and can be a very empathetic person (everyone is different so some take longer than others), but all my life it has been a one-way connection. Because of it, I tend to care more than I should and worry over people who don't nesisarily deserve it. What I'm trying to say is this; my interations with people have never been neatly stitched.

From elementary school to middle school, I was very conscious about everything I said. Making sure it was the right thing to say, if it was the right person to say it to, making sure I didn't come off too far one way, etc. In earlier years, I would take my time to respond and after I did, I would repeat it in a whisper to myself afterword. As I grew, the response time became quicker, but instead of muttering, I would move my lips accordingly. It wasn't until a girl named Sydney pointed it out that I began to try and make improving myself.

After I fell out of the best friends I ever knew, I went through a sort of change. Courage was being first introduced to me at that time, and I was lucky enough to develop it when I needed it. At that time, I was the enemy. The villain. The character of a villain really isn't a voluntary role in my experience. When someone sees you some way or another that has a negative connotation, they tend to rip the humanity from you. The way I am putting it, it sounds very harsh, but let me continue. When you are seen in this light, the light seems to be the only thing they focus on be it because of fear or out of protection or due to disgust or disdain. It becomes hard to convince that person otherwise or even have contact without the threat of more imposed connotation. What that person doesn't realize is that by locking down their opinion of a person, they strip that person of any creditability or honesty they have. They can't do anything to defend themselves or make up for themselves, they have no chance to. Especially in a situation in which the accuser is in a higher standing, the accused ends up the black sheep of the situation. The best villain is one that was once "good". Being the villain, the only thing you can do is be the villain. Which is to do nothing. Really. Nothing. There's no point in trying to defend yourself, and if everything you do is going to be wrong in their eyes, then they will be agitating themselves in the end because you are doing absolutely nothing about it. Now, this doesn't mean to not care. I know I still care even after being put in a bad light. I try to do little things every now and again after things have calmed down. Things not too invasive or threatening. Being the villain also means dealing with feelings of isolation or being alone, hateful comments or actions, and other backlash, but this is where the courage comes in. You have to be strong to be yourself, to fight your battles singlehandedly. You have to know how to care for yourself. I've always had a misunderstanding that has lead to some level of this villain-ization, and more times than none it has lead to the end of a potential friendship. A closed door in your face. Just remember that smiling always helps get you through, biologically or otherwise.

I really have to sleep now, but I'll probably have a part 2 up sometime or another. Lately, I have been trying to do better on my homework and chores and have so far succeeded. I'm not a fan of caffeine (or coffee), but I'll definitely be running on some black tea in 4 hours. Filled with rhythm and what-not.

[nowweareseventeen]

Today my friends and I decorated the Christmas tree together in our sixth form social area while loudly singing Christmas songs and we looked and felt like we were in a scene of a Christmas episode of Glee. It was pretty good. 

[101storie]

A Duchess in her Castle

Once upon a time, there was another duchess and another castle. She needed no prince to save her, she needed no mission of pity, and her beauty, budding youth, was surpassed in her spirit. A duchess was more than a princess, yet less needed than one. A duchess provides for the kingdom, her home, and her family in any way she can. Clearly more refined than a princess, more necessary. There is the duchess of the castle of plenty, head held high and eyes deeper than the soul. Pray tell, which kingdom do you think she'll serve next? Which one will lock her in the castle again?