reflecting today on body and stretch marks around-above top surgery scars all faint white hard to see but radiating and interesting and never fleshed out by the muscle of ~working out~ i think surgeon assumed of patients
and the lil drain holes’ raised rough ellipses to the far sides right where arms naturally fall to barely cover, and why do i have maybe two on the right or was that something else
and the weird way a single thick hair very slowly regrows at one point along the main scar lines rooted pretty damn much *in* the scarring
and the not exactly natural way skin/tissue/body slopes down & out from the scars, swelling, how there’s a red line that forms from just sitting or existing somehow about an inch below the scars, not quite able to be a skin fold and maybe once was
the way the skin near shoulder/join of arm is fuller and bunches out but the center is sooo flat and looks like it was sanded down, the curves of underarm tissue promising body size that deadend in a plateau contrary to implication, the little way it bulges over the scars themselves just beneath armpit, then tucks in then skin again isn’t sure why it’s not in a fold before sloping out again
the little up-curve in the main lines in the middle, arcs coming up to a little arrow without meeting, the way the right side’s has this white raised bit just there that always looks like it should peel off like unhealthy skin on a toe easy and painless
the gradient of scar coloration and a darker reddish on the far left fading into an almost-invisible pink in the middle to contrast with that white the-line-of-fat-on-a-steak-to-pluck-off of the right which quickly shifts to a blotchier variety of midtone pink
and of course the way the scars themselves feel to touch, ridged or smooth in variation, how they curve up at the ends toward armpits in a way i never see even when i’m looking only trace, how sensitive-almost-painful at those edges and kind of dotting bumps up and maybe that’s why shaving sucks, huh, how below scars feels warm and Normal and rest of body even in the strange shallow flat no man’s land trench which is fine to touch but above scars feels cool alien not sensing right almost the prickly cold of ice near-burn and not exactly pleasant nor unpleasant but certainly unsettling and setting on edge, and how strange the tissue beneath feels to press down like odd honeycombed hollow chambers gently squishing and releasing the tingle-cold-burn, and how after that inch-ish band above it fades to about as normal as chest can feel and tattoo is easiest to touch because nerves don’t have risk of screaming shrill offkey harmony, and how pressing down to its sides is proper muscle-resistance squish how bodies work feel
been a long while since paid direct attention to and wonder about details depicted in art writing etc and mm i ever focus on minutiae in such
