"Rhysand reminds me of my Ex."
Is the comment that changed my mind about this series. See, I'd given my copy to my middle sister, Bekka, who loves DnD like me. She loved the first book, could not stop gushing about how cool Prythian sounds with all the different courts (she wants to live in Winter lol).
But then the books continued. She told me, halfway though Silver Flames, that she can't do it anymore. She can't read a story where the main character goes through the same or eerily similar abuses that /she/ suffered from her ex. At first I said, don't worry girl Tamlin doesn't show up much anymore. Her response?
"Tamlin isn't the problem, Rhys is! He's just like Ben."
Ben, for context, is her ex-fiancee. An alcoholic who would get black out drunk frequently, harassing and physically assaulting people is this state. He'd start fights in bars just because he could. He's been arrested for this 4 times, that ive seen, it's likely higher.
He controlled nearly everything she did. From when she went, to how she dressed. From what she ate, to the people she talked to. He almost completely isolated her from her family. Out of all of us, I was the only one still in contact. Likely because as the youngest of my siblings, I posed the least threat to his control. Our parents and oldest sister were cut off.
He was violently abusive. Bekka called us from the hospital on 3 separate occasions. The first time he'd shoved her down a flight of stairs at their apartment during an 'arguement' about bills. Then it was when he'd beat her and broken her arm for 'disrespecting his authority as a man', whatever that means. Finally, it was the car crash. He was road raging against another driver, speeding and swerving on the interstate. The crash totaled her car, and other drivers, and a third car that was also struck. It was then that she finally was convinced to leave.
Because that's the thing about manipulation. It's subtle, and it's effective. This man took years of her life, making her suffer all the way, and she stayed because he was clever and charming when he wanted to be. He'd convinced her that /we/ her family were the controlling ones, we were the ones trying to break them apart when he loved her so much.
10 years. 10 goddamn years! She lost 10 mother fucking years to that monster! Even more if you count the PTSD she still sees a therapist for. And it's not like leaving was easy. He refused to let her leave peacefully so we had to get the law involved. A mountain of evidence, a court hearing, and one horrified judge later, Bekka now has a permanent restraining order on the bastard.
All in all, people stan who they want to stan. I'm just asking, begging, pleading, with you to understand that characters like Rhysand are made real in people like Ben.
*i posted this with permission from Bekka to explain her story. she is healthy and happy now with a man who truly loves her.*