#noble enough

[captainoflifeandlemons]

If you ever feel like something is too “silly” to contribute to a fandom, please know that one of the fics in my drafts explains the anachronisms of the ASoUE/ATWQ world by claiming VFD is a society of time travelers, and that another one centers around the idea of Victoire Fourier being the empty man.

[captainoflifeandlemons]

for the six characters dealio: Lemony, Kellar, Moxie, Ellington, Jake, Cleo!

Give a CapriSun and lay down for a nap: I want to say all of them but I’m going to go with Kellar Haines.

Enlist to help build a pillow fort: Jake Hix, no question. He’d be the sort of person who draws up blueprints for it. Jake does not joke around with pillow forts.

Slingshot into the deep recesses of space: I love Cleo Knight but also she’s the only one who would probably survive this so. Cleo Knight. (Plus, think of all the exciting science she could do there.)

Sing bad karaoke and play DDR at 3am with: I’m gonna say Moxie Mallahan because I feel like her DDR skills would be just as poor as mine, so we’d make a good team.

Smack with a rolled up newspaper: LEMONY FREAKING SNICKET. Stop murdering people, Lemony.

Let borrow the aux chord on a road trip: Ellington “my music taste is more sophisticated than yours Mr. Snicket” Feint.

[captainoflifeandlemons]

Some (sideways, sorry) atwq art, for all of your atwq art needs. I might fix this up a bit more later, but in case I don't I figured I'd just go ahead and share it now. And yes, the Beast's eye is the VFD insignia, because I couldn't resist.

(Text: I was almost thirteen and I was wrong. I was wrong about all of it.)

[captainoflifeandlemons]

Petition to change the surname of Sunny, Klaus, Violet, Bea, Beatrice, and Betrand to “Smoldelaire.”

[captainoflifeandlemons]

But imagine Lemony singing Taylor Swift's “Mean” to Stew Mitchum. 

[captainoflifeandlemons]

I...have no excuse. Tag yourself (atwq edition).

[captainoflifeandlemons]

I still haven't been able to read the fourth atwq book but there are suddenly posts under almost all the atwq character tags I track and I'm so worried because there are THREE NEW KELLAR HAINES POSTS and I didn’t make ANY of them which means there's a good chance he dies or something.

[captainoflifeandlemons]

Stain’d-by-the-Sea Gothic

the alarm is sounding. the alarm is always sounding. you protect yourself against that which you do not understand. what you do not understand is that you can never truly be protected. 

this town is bleeding. ink pours from the secrets of its past. an octopus cries softly in the background, but the creature approaching you now is no octopus.

you hear the waves crashing against the cliffs at night. you smell the fog roll in each morning. the water has been gone for years but the ocean still surrounds you.

a minor drives you to work each morning. a minor feeds you during your lunch break. child labor regulations do not apply here. you are beyond the jurisdiction of the law.

the more people leave, the more crowded this place becomes. there are ghosts on every corner. they all know your name. they all know what you have done.

salt mingles with ash in the aftermath of a fire. nobody asks what has burned down. nobody knows who quenched the flames. an empty box of matches sits on your nightstand while you listen to a haunting melody tear your town apart.