“Why the fuck did she have to go and die?"
why the fuck did she have to go and die? ft. { @nodustollcns } & { @bencficent }
SMARTASS; quick tongue fashioned into a blade and dipped in poison. coated in something DEADLY and frightening. she’s had an opinion about anything and everything since her toddler self learned how to communicate; tiny fingers pointing and DEMANDING things she hardly deserved. olivia has always been good at that. now, though – now she’s silent as a grave. FITTING, given the circumstances.
before HER sits a broken man, what little words he manages to speak are cracked and faded in all the WRONG places. he mutters syllables she doesn’t hear. she ignores him for the most part, really. his hair is in his face, cheeks wet – is that SWEAT or tears? probably both.
before THEM lays a corpse. they linger before it. they stare. they take it all in. they call this GRIEVING. the brunette’s once lively skin has turned grey with DEATH and her body smells like putrid meat left out behind a dumpster for the dogs. IRONIC – that was exactly what had transpired, wasn’t it? fiona’s KINDNESS outweighed her COMMON SENSE and now she was dead. robo howls and whimpers in the room as he’s been doing for the past four days. meanwhile, they STARE. they call this coping.
FOUR DAYS. that’s how long it took to find her. that’s how long it took to bring her back in. BULLET IN THE BRAIN spells out finality – self defense. fair enough. it wasn’t like fiona was in there anymore. olivia doubts this fired gun is what troubles either of them. the multiple signs of trauma, however? THOSE chill her to the bone. olivia wonders how long they tortured her for before finally feeding her to the undead. had it been raiders? or another bloodthirsty rogue? had they laughed in her face as they cut her skin, kicked her torso? did the bruises on her skin cause them joy?
olivia daydreams of green fields and a blade between her hands. she imagines staining the grass with their blood. she imagines carving nameless shapes into their flesh. BONES BREAKING. the word JUSTICE swims past her thoughts but is quickly dismissed. any pain she inflicts on them would be TOO KIND. still, the acid taste of revenge is better than nothing. she wonders if callum feels the same way.
“ WHY THE FUCK DID SHE HAVE TO GO AND DIE? “ he spits, he whines, he demands. a whirlwind of emotions. a hurricane of thoughts. she thinks he’s not asking her. she thinks he doesn’t even REMEMBER her being in the same room and to be honest she’s not quite sure what to reply.
she wants to say: i’m sorry.
she wants to say: it’ll be okay.
she wants to say: you’ll get through this – we’ll get through this.
she should give him something other than the boiling, red hot anger that bubbles in the pit of her stomach. she doesn’t think she has anything else to give him, though. the SWEETNESS in her life stemmed from fiona, and fiona was…
olivia’s eyes shut tightly, fists clenched and teeth biting down so hard she thinks her tongue is stuck in between. she tastes blood but otherwise feels NOTHING. stupid, stupid, stupid. of course she’s dead; GOOD things weren’t supposed to stay alive. that’s why she’s gone and they’re…they’re NOT. they’re left here. they’re left with ashes and the sheer need to wreck havoc.
she wants to be better than that.
she wants to honor her fallen friend in a way that would make her proud.
she wants to make sure callum gets out of this without harming himself.
she doesn’t know how to do that, either. all she knows is how to mold pretty things into UGLY things and make excuses. all she knows is how to turn sadness into rage into CHAOS. all she knows is how to burn; putting out fires was fiona’s job. and so she burns. so he burns.
why the fuck did she have to go and die? she scoffs, no humor. in fact, the sound is blatantly monotonous. “ because she’s a fucking IDIOT, that’s why. “
