Sitting in the grass at the company picnic, Pimms in hand, watching Hux teach a bunch of six years the basics of cricket with adorable miniature bats, Kylo felt like his world was spinning out of orbit and coming into focus all at once.
He’d never expected to be here. Not just here at an up market event with executives whose cars were worth more than his first apartment. Not just in England, working the sort of creative job he’d always wanted. But comfortable in his own skin- tattoos and muscles and top surgery and all. Valued for himself.
Hux looked up and smiled at him across the head of a boy concentrating so hard on the ball that his tongue was sticking out.
He had more scars than he ever wanted to think about. He’d spent half his childhood in and out of juvey. How many people who knew him then would expect Kylo Ren to be here now? Hell, how many would expect him to be alive?
Somehow life was perfect.
The girl bowling slipped on the wet grass. She fumbled to ball and it bounced, directly towards the little boy’s face.
With lightning fast reflexes Hux snatched it out of the air an inch from disaster.
There was a surprised cheer from the crowd but Hux ignored them. Instead he knelt to comfort the shocked children.
Kylo felt something loosen at the sight. Life was perfect, but maybe there was something else that could make it even more perfect.
He grinned up at Hux when the redhead came striding back to their picnic blanket. It seemed he cricket was suspended whilst the children found solace in cake and Hux found some ice for his bruised hand.
“You’d be a great dad,” Kylo said, offering up another cup of Pimms.
Hux gave one of his tight lipped smiles. “I always imagined I would be one day, but when I transitioned I couldn’t afford the fee to freeze any eggs so…” He shrugged.
“It’s something you want though?” Kylo pressed on, an idea forming hopefully in his mind. “Parenthood?”
There was a long silence as Hux watched the kids playing. It went on so long Kylo almost thought he hadn’t heard him.
“More than anything. But surrogacy is out of reach. Adoption is messy for a single parent, without my gender or sexuality being brought into the mix, let alone my working hours. I learned not to think about it.”
Kylo tried to keep the hurt out of his voice when he repeated, “‘single parent’?” but he failed.
“I didn’t mean…” Hux sounded stricken, “I stopped thinking about it as an option a long time ago Kylo, before we met. Your immigration status probably wouldn’t help the adoption issue. I don’t see how else…”
“You’re fixating on adoption.”
“I have no eggs. I’m sterile. What other option is there?!”
“Bill is your twin, right? Fraternal twin?”
That made Hux stop and sit open mouthed for a moment. “You don’t really think Bill would… donate… do you?!”
“He and Matt offered actually. It freaked me out at the time because, well, no offence Hux, but your brother is a bit odd.” Kylo said without meeting his eye. Bill had been a bit graphic in that strange way of his.
“We’d still need a surrogate,” Hux mused.
“Well, you…” He trailed off with a wave of his hand.
“Non-binary it might be, but everything in this body functions,” Kylo said.
Hux was looking at him strangely now. “Nine months though. You’d get big. You’d have to deal with exams and tests and invasive procedures. I wouldn’t want to put you through that kind of stress.”
“What if I wanted to put me through that kind of stress?” Kylo asked, watching the way Hux’ eyes seemed to light up. “What if I wanted to be a parent with you?”
“We’re not even married.”
Kylo laughed. “If it makes you feel better about getting me pregnant with your brother’s donated sperm I’ll happily accept that terrible proposal.”
“What? Wait, no, that wasn’t what I,” Hux stumbled over his words in his panic. “I mean I do want to marry you I just… oh fuck it. Let’s have a baby. And get married. In that order.”
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