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hello my non-binary friends, please be careful when committing gay crimes this week as the rest of the world WILL be aware of us for the next 7 days. for your own safety please consider postponing all major heists until non-binary awareness week has passed and we can again conduct our illegal transactions in the shadows of the general public’s ignorance
Okay so I’m going to use bi visibility day to just kindly remind people that not all bi people are attracted to both men and women, and to not always assume so.
For example, some bi people like women and certain nonbinary people and it counts.
Some bi people like men and certain nonbinary people and that counts too!
As long as you’re attracted to more than one gender, you can be bi.
Liking both men AND women is NOT a prerequisite or requirement to being bi.
Do not count out nonbinary people, who sometimes use bi this way especially because of how we don’t want to align ourselves as closer to male or female as we are our own seperate thing.
Standard Disclaimer: The views shared here are not meant to be taken as objective fact, nor is a non-binary person any less valid for disagreeing with these views. As with most matters of gender identity and sexuality, everyone’s experience is unique. The purpose of this post is to encourage conversation both within and outside the non-binary community, NOT to serve as an infallible document.
Day 1 – What does it mean to be non-binary?
Put most simply, non-binary people are people whose gender identity does not align within the traditional, two gender binary system (man and woman). Consequently, there are many gender identities that fall under the umbrella term “non-binary.” As long as a person doesn’t feel that they are 100% a man or 100% a woman at all times, they are non-binary.
Comparatively, transgender women and transgender men (i.e. binary trans people) receive more visibility today than non-binary trans people. Popular binary trans people include Laverne Cox, Chaz Bono, Jazz Jennings, and Michael D. Cohen. All of these people transitioned from the binary gender they were assigned at birth to the opposite end of the gender spectrum. For example, Chaz Bono was assigned female at birth and transitioned to being a man.
Non-binary people also do not identify (or least not completely) with the gender that they were assigned at birth, but they DON’T transition from one end of the gender spectrum to the other. For example, a non-binary person assigned male at birth would not transition to being a woman. Note: Non-binary gender transition will be covered in a future post.
It is important to keep in mind that when the term “gender spectrum” is used, it should NOT be taken to mean that it is a straight line with male/man closing one end and female/women closing the other or that non-binary people fall in between being a combination of man and woman. In other words, being non-binary isn’t necessarily the same as “between being a man and a woman.” It’s more accurate to say that non-binary people experience and define their gender as being outside of that binary view of gender completely. They are not a combination of both genders; they are neither gender.
That being said, because “non-binary” is such a broad, umbrella term, there are non-binary people who do think of themselves as a combination of the two binary genders and/or shifting between along the imagined “straight line” gender spectrum model and that’s totally valid! There are far too many non-binary genders to list here, so instead consider this illustration: https://66.media.tumblr.com/94595489c47c3d02e451c77ef30f68e6/tumblr_p8wfufIZXQ1ql3ud1o1_1280.png
In this illustration, it shows that the non-binary gender umbrella encompasses more specific identities such as genderqueer (someone who possesses a gender outside of the man/woman binary completely), genderfluid (someone who shifts between multiple gender identities, possibly including the one they were assigned at birth), and agender (someone who identifies as having no gender at all). What’s important to note here is that while all of these and other identities are non-binary by definition, they interpret a person’s gender along or outside of the binary gender spectrum differently. For example, all genderqueer people are non-binary, but not all non-binary people identify as genderqueer. It can be helpful to think about how race and ethnicity works the same way; all Japanese people are Asian, but not all Asian people are Japanese.
I want to share something I wrote for my workplace Pride group. The group is about 30% LGBTQ+ people and 70% allies. Of the few dozen queer people, I am one of 2-3 out non-binary people. I shared this hoping for that 70% to consider the beauty of life outside the confines of the binary. Despite the simplicity of the message, others are responding that this was enlightening and they learned a lot. I’ve been so scared to share this part of myself, but fear is the mind-killer and wholesome connection is so so valuable. Full text starts below.
Today is International Non-Binary People's Day! I wanted to share a little bit about non-binary identities (and my own relationship to gender) with the group today in the spirit of visibility. There are as many ways to be non-binary as there are to be human! The non-binary umbrella covers those who do not identify as a binary man or woman. Some nonbinary identities are fluid, constantly in flux and change. They may identify as gender fluid, gender flux, or genderqueer. Other identities are more solid, with little to no fluidity. This could be a traditional "third gender" native to one's culture, or other identities like agender, bigender, or demigender. With all identities, pronoun preferences are specific to the individual, though the use of singular "they" is common.
I began to acknowledge my non-binary identity in 2020, along with many others for whom quarantine spurred a period of introspection, and as we interacted less with the "outside" world, reevaluated things like gender presentation, expectations, and perceptions. I found that "agender" fit my experiences best - when I thought about my own gender, I found... not much. So I stopped doing the labor of presenting female, and I felt the boundless freedom of being fully human. It was like I had dropped an ill-fitting mask, and I knew I could never go back. I allowed myself to be drawn to the things that truly bring me joy, instead of wondering why I could never find happiness in prescribed femininity.
Part of my transition has included a short haircut, new clothes, and no makeup. I started using my preferred nickname at work and asked for others to use they/them pronouns when talking about me. These changes make me feel more like myself than I ever have, and I bring that newfound confidence to my job, my family, and my friends.
Every non-binary person's transition will look different. Some use hormones and surgeries to help themselves feel more whole; some do not. Some choose new names entirely; some are comfortable with their given name. What's important is that when someone comes out to you as non-binary, they are sharing with you the deepest parts of their experience of being human. It's an opportunity to know this person more fully, and should be met with curiosity rather than confusion. There is a lot of information out there if you want to learn more - nonbinary people have been sharing experiences throughout all of time. It just takes a desire to listen and learn, and an interest in the humans in your life!
My goal this year is to be more open and authentic in living my truth and advocating for my gender-nonconforming siblings. Feel free to message me if you'd like to talk more about non-binary gender or my experiences!
“Isn’t that something Tumblr made up?” Some people are just rude about non-binary genders, but even some would-be allies tend to say these things.
18 Things You Should Never Say To Non-Binary People
Please read and reblog!
Myself (@minenekeehl) and my friend (Molly - @myuuismagical) are currently working on a project to increase awareness of Non-Binary genders at our school. The aim is to provide information for those who do not know what non-binary genders are, attempt to normalize non-binary genders and perhaps help those who aren’t quite sure if what gender they are. This includes presentations on different genders, transgender issues, gender presentation, pronouns, and several other appropriate topics.
Here’s where you come in.
We would like you, Non-Binary and Transgender cuties of Tumblr, to share your first-hand experiences on how it feels for you to be misgendered,or have the wrong pronouns used, and what effect it has on you, with as much detail as you feel comfortable giving. This information will be shared with students, but can remain anonymous if you wish (see below). We feel that real-life experiences and information is much more effective than hypotheticals, as we would really like to ensure the students make an effort not to misgender anyone in the future.
Guidelines:
To share your experiences, submit or ask either me at minenekeehl, or Molly at myuuismagical.
Make sure that you are absolutely comfortable with sharing this information.
If you can, detail how you were misgendered.
Only submit if you are non-binary or trans. This is in no way meant to be cisphobic, but you have to understand that the main focus is non-binary and trans people.
You can submit experiences in the form of video, or text. Or any other means you see appropriate, but within reason.
Specify your pronouns.
Keep in mind that if you do not specify, they/them pronouns will be used.
Specify whether you would like to be anonymous.
If you do not specify, you will remain anonymous.
If you need any other information, please feel free to message me on my blog at minenekeehl.
Please spread the word, even if you don’t submit! It’s all appreciated!
Thanks!
[Image: pinkish-purple woman figure and blue man figure on a white background with a black border. Green text reads: Think outside the binary.]
