As someone who’s lived through an emotionally abusive relationship that I only realised was abusive after it ended, as someone who has trouble making friends and as someone who kept my ex-girlfriend as my best friend because I would simply be too lonely without her, here is a fact about emotional abuse: it doesn’t have to be obvious or dramatic. It can be everyday things. It can be very difficult to realise that it’s happening and it can do some real damage as a result. “Undramatic” signs of emotional abuse can be:
1) Constantly being corrected. You think something was unfair? It really wasn’t. You think something tastes good? It’s okay, I guess, but really nothing special, you can keep that.
2) Constantly being blamed. I was sad and wrote to you and you didn’t write me back immediately, why are you always so insensitive?
3) Constant focus on the one thing you did wrong or didn’t do rather than on all the things you did right or did. Just spring cleaned your entire apartment? Your kitchen floor isn’t really clean, though, is it?
4) Constant disregard of your opinions. You think that movie was a bit preposterous? I really can’t see anything preposterous about that, why would you have a problem with that? (insert insecure explanation) Well, that isn’t really relevant. (insert attempt to make a joke to lighten the mood) ... Sure.
5) Constantly being made fun of concerning things you’re insecure about or otherwise wouldn’t like others to joke about. That really wasn’t done right, was it? Oh, sweetheart, that’s not right. You’re always bad at cooking.
Emotional abuse is real and it can damage you considerably. So take care of yourself. Don’t let others tell you what’s wrong or right and don’t let others tell you what you can or can’t do. Learn to trust yourself and your perceptions again, so when your ex-girlfriend asks you if you want to go steady again like mine did last night, you love yourself enough to say no.
