Hi! I am going to yell about my hair, gender, and autism for a bit so if youd like to share your own thoughts or suggestions feel free! I love to read that stuff but fair warning for those who don’t want to read all that to pass this!
I have many a thought and feeling about my gender perception and outward appearance but my hair has always been my greatest problem
It never grows past my shoulder blades
Logically this should be impossible but i grew out my hair for ages and once it reached my shoulder blades it was immediately start growing outward (became so thick I had to get it thinned instead of trimmed every few months) and was so ridiculously thick and frizzy that random strangers used to refer to me as Hermione
Then I started coloring it and while I absolutely loved doing that, the texture made me sick constantly. (Meltdowns from bullying bc of the coloring were definitely not helped by the disgusting feeling of straw hair on my fingers.) i shaved the side of my hair and had this weird awkward bob for about a year but then grew it all out to shoulder blade length again (like i said my maximum) and dyed it ginger (my natural hair color that grew brown later)…and i loved it. Well not all of it the bangs werent great. But a few months later the dyed part was trimmed out and my hair was really pretty and soft and somewhat past my shoulderblades????
But then I had this huggggeee constant dysphoria about my hair length. I hated it and I hated how long it was.
So then i cut it all off to a pixie-like cut that got so badly trimmed that I actually found a style I liked better because of it. My haircut for the past year has been short with a wavy side bang in the front with shaved sides and back and I absolutely love it…kinda
Because going to acting and seeing all of the girls with long beautiful up-dos for the show made me desperately want my long hair back because I loved styling it. It was super fun and I loved how many different things I could do with it.
So my problem is my short hair has grown out now and i have a haircut scheduled for next week but the idea of getting it cut normal makes me feel sick but the idea of it not being short also makes me feel sick. And while coloring it would take the edge off it would just prolong how long id have to wait to regrow my hair if i decide to do that. And by the time of the show, I likely would not the length hair that I want so there still wouldn’t be anyway for me to style it. (Plus I feel I’d just feel sick again and chop it all off halfway)
So there is my hair vent and any advice or stories are very much wanted!!
