#nonbinary van

[yellowjacketslesbian]

liv just used they/them pronouns for van on a podcast!!!!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! as a nonbinary van palmer truther I will be insufferable about this

[buzzbuzzwhs]

Thoughts on the @taivanweek prompts:

College—

Do I send them both to my hwc or…

Um both of them at your hwc obvs

One at Howard, one at Oberlin

Tai Howard, Van working

Voting ended onSep 8, 2023

As a cis person, is it grossly problematic for me to write an “Adult Van comes out as nb to their friends?”

Please let me know in the comments

[yellowjacketslesbian]

Van Palmer’s gender is an old vhs tape

[yellowjacketslesbian]

hi jo! i saw someone shit on the idea of van as a nonbinary butch today and as one myself it made me upset. I love your fics and how you write van so I was wondering if you had any headcanons about van being gnc / nonbinary?

hey! first off, I'm really sorry you saw someone reacting negatively to the idea of nonbinary butch Van. I know it can be really frustrating and upsetting to see someone getting offended at the idea of a fictional character possibly having a similar identity as you. it's like "what's wrong with my identity that makes you deny this character I love and relate to could also be a nonbinary butch lesbian?" (spoiler alert: nothing is wrong with being a nonbinary butch lesbian, some people are just very loud and very wrong)

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! it truly means a lot to know that people like what I write. I'm especially glad that the fics I've written dealing with Van's gender have been well received, and that people could feel seen by them!

I could write multiple essays on Van's gender and why I personally believe they're nonbinary (and why they're already canonically butch), but I'll confine this to just my top nonbinary Van hcs lol

if they had lost states and never gotten on the plane, Van would've gotten a scholarship to NYU and double majored in film and women's & gender studies. They would've become aware of Gender Trouble and Stone Butch Blues through their major, and they also would've met more gnc people in NYC. This would've led to their realization that there are other people like them who share similar experiences. I personally think it would've taken them a year or two to talk to Taissa about it because they didn't want to "burden her with it" (typical Van), but Tai would've been really accepting and went out of her way to read about gender identity and try really hard to understand Van's experiences once they told her. I don't think Van would've been out as nonbinary to anyone besides Tai and close friends until like the early 00s though.

in "canon" where the crash happens, I think it would've taken Van a lot longer to realize they even could be nonbinary. like they had so much trauma to work through, and just surviving was probably a struggle for them. I can really see them spending at least a decade just ignoring any dysphoria they had. they probably also didn't have the same exposure to information about being nonbinary back in the late 90s / early 00s, especially if they weren't living in a very queer area or around academia. I think one of the queer college kids who helped out around their store eventually came out to them as nonbinary in the late 00s. then Van researched being nonbinary so they could be there for them, and that's how Van finally realized they're actually nonbinary.

I think Van would've spent some time exploring what pronouns felt right for them after realizing they're nonbinary, but they would eventually use they/them or they/she by the present day.

I think Van had top surgery in the late 00s in the no crash universe and in the mid-2010s in the "canon" universe

I think that Van's dysphoria is mostly social dysphoria, but I do think they have top dysphoria. I personally read Van's boob jokes in S1 as using humor to deflect from some dysphoria they may have been experiencing at the time. (as a nonbinary lesbian, it reminded me a lot of how I personally dealt with my own dysphoria when I was about Van's age and hadn't yet realized it was dysphoria)

Lastly

important note: all of this is purely my own hcs and opinions, and I am not claiming to know what they will or won't explore canonically on the show. that being said, I am a nonbinary butch lesbian and personally see a lot of myself and my own experiences in Van, and many other nonbinary lesbians also see themselves in Van. we all have every right to hc Van as nonbinary. if you don't like it, you can politely fuck off

[yellowjacketslesbian]

I just wanted to reiterate that my page, ask inbox, dms, etc. will always be a safe space to discuss Van Palmer’s canon butch lesbian identity, as well as any headcanons related to Van’s gender identity. I know there are certain individuals in the fandom who have always fought very hard to shut down, undermine, and deflect from those conversations. however, I believe they’re important discussions to have, particularly because of the level of push back they receive (and especially because I know many people in this fandom are butch, gnc, and/or nonbinary themselves).

I have personally dealt with a lot of hate (both direct and indirect) for daring to write Van as nonbinary in fics on occasion. however, I will never stop, because knowing even a few people felt seen and accepted because of something I wrote far outweighs any vitriol I receive for it.

also, having discussions around Van’s butch lesbian identity or gender identity in no way cancels out an appreciation for any other part of Van’s identity or taivan as a ship, and especially not other characters, and it’s very weird to imply it does imo.

as a nonbinary butch lesbian, I am personally very skeptical of people who are cis (and especially gender conforming) actively trying to shut down these type of conversations and implying butch identity or gender nonconformity is somehow less important than other facets of the characters’ identity.