I used the baking prompt! Have you seen that one trend going around where a group of people try coordinating cooking with different senses cut off? I thought it’d be something silly to draw these guys doing! I hope you like it, and have a wonderful holiday!!! ✨🙏
They’re making some kind of cake, but Wash is 100% sure that they’re making chocolate chip cookies lmaooo.
For all my Norkington lovers out there who want to be sandwiched with said baddies out there- this is for you.
Your neighbors are the worst.
Ideally when you found this apartment, it wouldn’t have killed the landlord to let you know the walls are thin here. Actually it might not even be that the walls are thin. It might be that these motherfuckers are so damn loud that no matter the thickness you’d still be able to hear the moans. The begging. Not even your pillows can save you because you swear they have a sixth sense for when you’re trying to drown them out.
You don’t even know these men but you know their names.
Who the fuck names their kid Wash? Or North?
Normally this wouldn’t really matter if you think about it. It’s just people banging each other. It happens everywhere in the world.
Normally it wouldn’t bother you in the slightest.
It totally shouldn’t bother you.
Except whoever is on the other side of your wall likes making the one named Wash beg. Loudly. And Wash likes to whine and whoever is fucking him (you’ve counted three names in their activities so three people) doesn’t even bother with a gag. It’s like he’s moaning in your ear when they go down on him or fuck him. It doesn’t even matter how thick the damn walls are, he's just that damn loud.
The last two months you’ve been dealing with this.
And so tonight when you go to bed, you just pray that the three neighbors you have go to sleep too.
….
The mailbox is by far the most peaceful place in the building. You kind of enjoy making your trips there- it’s just a trip down the elevator and then a few turns til you get to the room where the mailboxes are. It’s normally empty so you have the room mostly to yourself to sort through whatever bills and credit card offers you’ve been sent.
Today there’s a man by your mailbox.
Your first mistake was thinking it’s the mailman when he’s obviously not in uniform. Your second is assuming he’s trying to steal your mail- but when you get closer to confirm you see it’s not your box that’s open but your neighbor's box.
The loud neighbors.
The sex neighbors.
Every hair stands on end.
The man is tall- blonde with pale skin. He looks comfortable as he sorts through the stack of envelopes in his hands the same way you do yours. He doesn’t even really notice you, which gives you a minute to look him over. Gym rat comes to mind first- the jeans he’s wearing look more painted on than anything. His thighs in particular have your attention when he shifts his position, making the denim move over them in a way that has you eyeing them more because you’re sure you’ve never seen a man with better thighs in your life. Or ass. He does have a nice ass.
You reach a hand up to press over your mouth- but that action has your keys jingling in your hand which gets his attention.
There’s no more time to oogle when the gym rat sex bastard turns around and offers you a smile. God, even his face is unfairly pretty. He has some shadows under his eyes but those blue eyes have you swallowing a bit. Was this York? Or North?
It takes a minute before you blink back into the conversation you were apparently a part of. “Huh?”
“I was asking if you needed to get to your mailbox. Am I blocking the way?” He rubs the back of his neck. The voice- it’s soft. He sounds relaxed if not a little sheepish. It’s still a toss up between York and North because their Wash is loud enough you could probably know what he sounds like as soon as he talks to you. If he ever talks to you.
Instead of becoming unbearably annoying toward him you just nod and point to the box next to his. “Yeah. I’m unit 203.”
Surprise laces his features. Oh you want to become unbearable about this but it’s also unfair.
This is one of three men.
Three men who made it an unknown mission to ruin your sleep schedule.
He seems nice and a little cute if you’re being honest- no. He’s hot. There’s nothing movie star quality about his looks, yeah but just being around him for a couple of minutes is enough to see why he has sex with two other people in his home all the time.
Maybe it’s better if you don’t bring it up. If someone you didn’t know brought up your sex noises you think you just might swan dive off your apartment balcony. At the same time you’re almost certain that if they all keep making porn star noises next to where you sleep you’re gonna have to tell them to just start their OnlyFans and get you in on the money as compensation for lost sleep and a number of other problems accrued in the last two months.
By the time you even think to say something he’s saying a goodbye with a kind smile and you’re left standing there wondering if you just hallucinated him.
….
The drive home from the office is dull.
The exhaustion doesn’t help really. Last night seemed to be the worst night yet by far.
Four rounds. The one named Wash was bordering on screaming.
What were they doing to him to get him that loud? Was it that good? Judging from the physique of the blonde man you met in the mail room it seemed like he had the stamina to keep things going unless they were taking turns-
You’re so preoccupied with trying to figure out the logistics of how your neighbors are banging that you barely heard a yell before noticing you were about to run a man over in the parking lot. The blonde looks completely hassled as the tires screech from how hard you slam the brakes- thankfully you don’t actually cause an impact with him but the expression of sheer anger on his face is enough for you to back up and go back to your parking spot you missed.
Shit, this was how you were gonna get evicted wasn’t it? Not from potential stalker or murder charges but almost committing vehicular manslaughter.
“I’m so sorry.” The word vomit comes before you think to stop it. “I am so sorry. I didn’t get enough sleep last night and my head’s been a little weird which is no excuse for almost running you over-”
The anger in the man’s expression dissipates a little at that and he clears his throat awkwardly. The tenor tickles something in your memory before he finally speaks.
“Don't worry about it.”
You almost drop to your knees.
You almost ran over the screamer from next door.
This is Wash. This is the man who might be singularly responsible for said lack of sleep if he didn’t live with sex fiends like the man from the mailroom. You wonder how he deals with it. His roommates? His boyfriends? They seem to be menaces. Horrible sexy menaces. Does he know that he’s that loud? Should you maybe ask them to keep it down? Part of you ponders if he’s bothered by the noise too until you remember that this is the one making the noise an issue in the first place because he’s the one who manages to drown out the bed banging against the wall.
There’s a deep part of you that wants to be honest but how the hell do you tell the man you know exactly what he sounds like when he orgasms?
“I-” You start awkwardly but something closes up in your throat. You can’t say it. “I really am sorry.”
He ruined your sleep and you’re apologizing?
“No, don’t worry about it. I have trouble sleeping sometimes too.” I bet you do is on the tip of your tongue but you bite it back to stop yourself as he continues. “It’s a small parking lot. I probably could have skated away if I had noticed you sooner.”
Skated?
Eyes trail down and- yeah. He has a skateboard.
And trash bags.
“You were… taking the trash out? On a skateboard?” You look back up at him with an eyebrow raised and the man full on blushes, rubbing his neck like he got caught with his hand in a cookie jar. It blows you over mentally. Now you see why they fuck him as hard as they do- each freckle on his face stands out when he blushes.
Something settles in your chest and you take a deep breath.
“Well.” He looks up- fuck. His eyes are brown. Finally you noticed the blonde hair and dark roots. “If there’s anything I can do to make it up to you let me know Wash.”
You turn on your heel before you see his reaction to it but two steps in he calls after you. “I never told you my name-”
“You didn’t have to!” You call back to him without looking. “I live next door to you!”
The choked noise he makes behind you is totally worth it.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
Have you read So This Is Home (Red vs. Blue)?
Yes, I am/was in the fandom
Yes, but I’m not in the fandom
No, but I’m in the fandom
No, I’m not in the fandom
Voting ended onJul 21, 2024
Summary: No relationship is perfect. We will all make mistakes. But we'll fix them together. Because that's what a relationship is. It's a promise, an agreement between individuals that nobody will have to face their mistakes alone ever again.
A collection of glimpses into the domestic lives of Wash, York and North.
Author: @thejokeristhethief
Note from submitter: OT3 is being my OT3. I honestly love this series so fucking much. It's so domestic and imperfect and they love each other but they are so human and I want to scream every time I read it because I so rarely find fics that so perfectly encompasses the human experience like this one does.
