The Vampire Dies in no Time, Chapter 196: Draus Becomes a NūTuber
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(Translations by @lavoszero and myself. Edits and typesetting by myself)
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Chapter 196: Draus Becomes a NūTuber
123
Draus: "Thank you for coming."
Draus:"Northdin, my friend, you seem to be doing well."
[Draus, an ancient vampire and Draluc's father.]
Northdin: "Oh drop the formalities, you usually call me when you have a problem, so what is it this time?"
[Northdin, an old friend of Draus and Draluc's mentor.]
Draus: "You're indeed correct, you see..."
Northdin: "Yes? What is it you want to discuss?"
Draus: " Well... just between you and me"
124
Draus: "I want to become a NūTuber..."
Northdin: "A what?"
125
Northdin: "You're not acting like your usual self. Aimlessly chasing a fad, has your brain finally become mush?"
[I am the vampire Mr. Tries-New-Things-on-a-Whim-Because-I-am-Just-That-Old]
Draus: "N-no!! I have a good reason for this!"
[Flashback]
Draus: "I asked Draluc if he wanted to partake in some father-son bonding, but, for some reason, he declined. 'I'm recording a video game commentary for Nūtube, so I can't right now.'
Draus: "So this is the Nūtube Draluc spoke of... If I do this too, I'm sure I'll be able to spend some quality time with Draluc!!"
[End flashback]
Northdin: "If you're going to flashback, at least have the decency to do so for five or more panels."
Draus: "Lend me your hand in making a spectacular NūTube debut!!"
Northdin: "No."
Northdin: "Firstly, that would be imitating humans."
Draus: "Don't say that Northdin! We're best friends, are we not!?"
Northdin: "A vampire such as yourself-"
Draus: "Please, best friend!"
Northdin: "You're doting on Draluc far too much-"
Draus: "I'm begging you! Please, best friend! Hey, best friend!! Hey, best friends!!"
126
Northdin: "I'm assuming you know what being a NūTuber entails?"
Draus: "Of course."
Draus: "For instance, videos like the ones Draluc uploads to NūTube…those kind get a plethora of comments and views, it's growth is simply awe-inspiring. Even as a budding Nūtuber, I'm certain I'll receive 200 quintillion(※) comments and views, then Draluc would say "My father is so great, check him out!"
Northdin: " Is there a reason behind you inflating those numbers?"
Northdin: "And? What are you planning to record?"
Draus: "A reading of my autobiography."
Northdin: "I see, so you have no plan."
Northdin: "Let’s see…humans generally have a desire to see that of which is forbidden to them. What if you filmed 'A Tour of a Vampire's Castle' to satiate that curiosity?"
Draus: "As Expecdin!" [* As expected of Northdin]
Draus: "Here, we can film without fearing my hordes of newly acquired human fans ever trespassing!"
Northdin: "Here, deep in the mountains of Tochigi. The closest station is an hour's walk."
Northdin: "Okay, let's start filming."
Draus: "Fufufu… Greetings Nūtube, I am the formidable vampire known as Draus."
127
Northdin: "Hey, you're not visible!"
Draus: "Huh?"
Northdin: "You can't buy a camera at random! Idiaus, did you go just with what the store clerk was trying to sell you without question!?"
Northdin: "We have no choice, clench your buttocks as if your life depends on it!!"
Draus: "Ugh, this is agony on my lower back. Huff."
Draus: "Allow me to gracefully show you around the place. Bah, it's so difficult to move while constantly clenching, I'm as stiff as that robot C3-P0!! Now I've lost my train of thought, what to say, what to say."
Draus: "Th... th-this is the rose garden of our castle..."
[Ring ring rinring]
Draus: "Ack, it's the six o' clock bell."
Northdin: "After all, we're deep in the mountains of Tochigi."
[It's time for good children to return home]
[Two hours later]
Draus: "E-enough!! I give in!! End it, end it..."
Northdin: "Finally, I've had enough of this nonsense."
Draus: "One... I have one last question."
Northdin: "Well, what is it?"
Draus: "I often see text at the bottom of the screen, how does it appear? How can I recreate that………?"
[He's referring to captions]
128
Northdin: "Just cut some letters out of cardboard, then make them float with telekinesis."
Draus: "As Expecdin!"
[Thus marked Draus's first remarkable upload to NūTube."
[Some days later]
Draus: "There's no views on it at aaaall. This isn't good enough for Draluc, it's not good at all, I should just curl up into a ball like a pill big."
Northdin: "You can't expect immediate results from a single upload. the key to viewership is persistence."
Draus: "As Expecdin!"
Draus: "The view and comment count is as dead as can be, I'm a shriveled worm on the sidewalk."
Northdin: "Film your familiars or other animals, animals are strong attention grabbers.
Draus: "It's hopeless. I should lie down and die. I'm the smallest potato in a picking contest."
Northdin: "Watch videos from those that succeed before you as reference."
Draus: "I'm ending it all, goodbye. I'm more lowly than a slug, I'm the slime it secretes."
Northdin: "Showcase your unique abilities in your videos."
Draus: "The portly victim that's eaten first in a zombie movie"
Northdin: "Clench you buttocks."
Draus: "Mrs. Carmody from The Mist
Draus: "Jar Jar Binks."
Draus: "Monjayai."
Draus: "Blegh."
[Some days later]
Draus: "I had a 'revelation,' North. Everything I've tried up until now, it was all wrong.
Draus: "I feel as if I received a true, divine 'epiphany,' it's so simple. All that I must do now is to put this into action… fufufu, I feel so at bliss."
[A dreadful foreboding washed over Northdin; his friend is going down a dangerous path, yet he knew he was too late to stop him.]
129
[Ronaldo Vampire Hunter Agency, Shin-Yokohama]
Draluc: "Now then, let's check on the Dora Dora Channel and see what uplifting comments we've received."
[Clack]
Draluc: "Oh? We got recommended a video?
Draus: "Hello, NūTube, welcome the awe-inspiring vampire Draus's channel."
Draluc: "Mih?"
130
Draus: "Now, To commemorate this first Installment, I’ve decided to give you all tour of my castle, so that you may understand my awe. Come on, cameraman!"
[Great English]
Draus: "This is the hallway, it's quite wide and long. Amazing isn't it~?"
[Hallway]
Draus: "This is the rose garden of our castle..."
[Ring ring rinring]
Draus: "Ack, it's the six o' clock bell."
Draus: "And here is the living room… well, that's all for now."
[The End]
[View Count: 2 Views]
[1 comment]
[It was a truly amazing castle!! I'm looking forward to the next video!! Mr. Draus is so cool!!☆]
[It was a truly amazing castle!! I'm looking forward to the next video!! Mr. Draus is so cool!!☆
[Comment by: Draus]
131
[More videos by this user]
[Video List: 67 Videos]
Draus: "Hello, Nūtube, today I'll introduce you to my amazing familiars."
Draus: "These rodents are my familiars. This one is Chuo and the other one is Chuko]
[Chuo, Chuko]
[Chu chu]
Draus: "Their favorite food is cheese. Uh... that is all.
[The End]
[Mr Draus is super cool! Even his rodents are amazing~ Let's all comment more.
[Comment by: Draus]
Draluc: Naaaaaaaaaa
[Breaking point]
132
Draus: "Tonight, I, Draus, will sing a special awe-inspiring song for you all. Ave, Maria, please, add meee to your playliiist."
[2 views]
Draus: "Tonight, I will perform my special awe-inspiring Draus dance. Here we go! Du-dun da dan, dun da dan."
[2 views]
Draus: "Greetings, Nūtube, for Tonight, I—everyone's favorite, Draus—will be partaking in the steaming hot Tenshinhan challenge. HOT!"
[2 views]
HYaaaA—, tonight, I thought I'd try digging a 15m trench in the garden for no reason in particular!"
[Dig dig dig dig dig dig]
Draluc: "He's in meltdown mode..."
133
Draluc: "? The view count on this next video, it's...
Draus: "Welcome, dear viewers, tonight I will share with you the wonders of my son, Draluc. Firstly, Draluc is the most adorable being in the universe. his cuteness is, without a doubt, a universal law."
[Photo album]
Draluc: "WAH!"
[Next Video]
Draluc: "AAA"
Draluc: "AAAA"
Draus: "In the beginning, there was Draluc. And Draluc said, "Let there Shin- Yokohama," and there was Shin-Yokohama."
[The Splendor of Draluc 53, Draus Channel 5920 views]
[The Splendor of Draluc 54, Draus Channel 6274 views]
[The Splendor of Draluc 55, Draus Channel 8517 views]
[The Splendor of Draluc 56, Draus Channel 10K views]
Draluc: "NUWBEHLGUBEHAO--!!!"
[26 Comments]
User1: "You love your son way too much (lol
User2: "Doxxed"
User3: "Lmao are you really his dad? lol"
Draus: "I love my son just as every father should.
"Doxxed? What do you mean by that?
"Of course I am his biological father. I am both a formidable man and the biological father of Draluc."
134
[Pat]
[Shift shift shift...]
[Heh]
[The Draluc Dance of Infinite Rage]
[Morale]
[After that, Draluc bombarded his father with attention non-stop until he forgot about NūTube.]
Draluc: "From now on, you're going to play Vonverman with me every night!"
Draus: "Eh, ah-"
Draluc: "Quiet! And as for tomorrow, we're going to hang out at Nezumi land until dawn!"
[Nu-end]
[Death 196: End]
Translator's notes.
Page 6 (128)
Draus normally uses "watashi" but uses "ore" when he's upset.
Literally he refers to Mrs. Carmody as "ミストのババア." Apparently it's some unaffectionate nickname for her.
Monjayaki is a "controversial" dish in Japan because it looks like barf.
スガスガしい気分だ ("I feel so at bliss") is a pretty famous Dio (Jojo) quote.
Page 7 (129)
ミ゜ ("Mih") is a JPN meme for the sound a cicada makes before dying.
Page 8 (130)
In the first panel, Draus literally says "Camera, come on. (written in katakana as "キャメラ カモン"). As indicated with a note above, he says it with a great pronunciation, so you know with "great English."
Page 9 (131)
Chuo and Chuko can translated as "Mr. and Ms. Squeak" in English. However, Draus has a tendency to give thing simple Japanese names (his coffin name is "Kuro," he calls John "Marusuke") so there's no point in translating it in the text.
"Hyaaaa" is a meme based on what brainless mooks scream from Fist of the Northstar (it's usually written as "ヒャッハー").
