Grrrr. Something so special about being a wolfdog. It’s so beautiful in every way. It’s taken years, literal years for me to discover this kintype. Now I can be free!! I can be happy with myself and what I do. Look at this thing… It is so me..
- Dean has tattoos everywhere (duh) but after he and Cas become official he gets wings tattooed over his shoulders that spill onto his forearms and trace down his shoulder blades
- Cas loves his tattoos and gets Dean’s hand print spread across his ribs tattooed onto him after he scarred Dean
- The other angels don’t approve of Dean at all and blacklist Cas as unclean for sleeping with a human
- soon they won’t even refer to him by name (which I think another post elaborated on)
- [The whore and his pet are among us, Uriel] Zachariah sneers and Cas wraps his arms around Dean’s waist and Dean digs his nails into Cas’ skin in bitter anger
- The degrading k!nk they considered playing with isn’t as commonly used when they sleep together after this
- Even Hannah can’t get an audience with her superiors if she refers to Castiel by name - he’s a traitor and a slut in their eyes
- Dean and Cas fuck, but they don’t have emotion behind it - at least until some of the later seasons like 8 or 9
- And the audience is completely aware of this and realize the first time they make love it’s different and Cas is worshiping Dean’s body with reverence because they’ve been monogamous with each other for years now but they refused to acknowledge their bond has changed
- But when Dean moans a weak [I love you] his hands lost in Cas’ hair as Cas licks and kisses up his thigh, Cas pauses, his pupils blown wide and a blush over his face as he reaches up and cradles Dean’s face, their foreheads together
- [I love you, too] he murmurs against his lips and the next kiss is different
- They only tell each other a handful of times that they love each other before the show ends, and not all of them are during sex, but their bond is a quiet love that simmers heatedly in loyalty and unspoken adoration
YES i watch the show for cas and cas alone. does my camera roll reflect this? no. i’m sorry to say that i see jackles and i must objectify him on principle
Series Summary: Scarred by their past, Tom Hanniger and his girlfriend decide to face their nightmares together. When the reader’s past begins to resurface, the two must hold fast to each other, or submit to insanity.
Episode Summary: After six years together in the institution, the reader takes Tom back to her hometown. Back to where it all happened.
Notes: I know I said fourteen imagines for October, but I just couldn’t resist this idea after watching this movie. I wrote a fic series for the video game Until Dawn and I’ve wanted to write something similar for a long time. I don’t know how often this’ll be updated, so just continue to check in if you enjoy!
Thanks to my wonderful beta @suckmysupernatural. She’s a beautiful human and I love her!
-
Shake. Shake. Shake. You could hear the pills rattling around in your pocket. Shake. Shake. Shake. The jeep slowly creeped down the road, a heavy fog making it nearly impossible for Tom to see. You were getting close.
Trees stretched up to the sky, looming over the car like they were ready to swallow you. You used to love those trees. Even they seemed to have turned against you. You kept your gaze on the road and with every mile, the weight on your chest grew heavier and heavier. It wouldn’t be long before you passed the house.
Tom noticed the way you shrank into your seat like you were trying to disappear. The look in your eyes was one he was all too familiar with. It was a crippling combination of crushing guilt and absolute terror. You’d had it since you’d left the institution and it only intensified when a narrow road split the trees apart. It gaped at you, mocking your fear. Even though you couldn’t see it, you knew that the house was watching you. Tom drove faster, hoping to put your memory in the rearview mirror as soon as possible.
With a trembling hand, you dumped a couple of pills into your palm. Shake. Shake. Shake. You brought the little white ovals up to your lips, feeling Tom’s worried gaze follow your movement.
“Maybe we should go camping like we talked about.” He suggested, pulling the jeep over. He knew you hated those pills. He hated his too.
“No.” You swallowed, shaking your head. “I have to go back. I have to go home.” You hesitated and made sure Tom wasn’t looking before you poured one more pill into your hand. Shake. Shake. Shake.
-
“Fucking hate motels.” Tom muttered as he stuck the key in the lock. You felt all of the hair on the back of your neck stand up. Someone was watching you. Afraid to look, you slowly turned your head. The curtains of the room next store closed in a flash.
“What is it?” Tom asked, eyes searching the direction that you were looking.
“I thought… nothing.” You pushed inside the room. You were just being paranoid. You just had to keep reminding yourself what the nurses said. Dr. Krychek was dead. She couldn’t hurt you anymore.
Tom placed both of your bags at the foot of the bed before collapsing onto the comforter. You kicked off your shoes and crawled up beside him. Tom slowly unbuttoned your jacket and laid his hand over the large, jagged line that stretched across your stomach. His touch grounded you. It kept you from going back there. Back to that house.
While he soothingly ran his fingers over the length of the scar, you tapped the rhythm of his heart beat on his chest.
This was a routine that you’d fallen into anytime one of you was having a particularly rough day. HIs touch kept the pain at bay and your steady taps reminded him that he was still himself. You anchored each other to the present to keep from slipping into the past.
“Thank you.” You whispered into the fabric of his sweatshirt. The olive green color reminded you of a pond - steady and calming.
“I still think we should leave.” He huffed, his arm tightening around you protectively. “I don’t care what the nurses said.”
“It’ll help me get closure. I need to move on.” It was a line you’d heard over and over again. Your voice sounded automatic, rehearsed. The following words were your own. “I have to go see her, Tom. She’s probably wondering where I’ve been all these years.”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea? I mean, last time you saw her was the trial and she nearly broke your nose.” Tom pulled away to give you a concerned glance. You shrugged.
“From what I’ve heard, Amanda has been doing okay. She’s married now and adopting two boys.” You had a tone of envy in your voice. “She certainly coped better than I did.” For one, she didn't spend the last six years being fed a bunch of self-help bullshit.
Tom didn’t try to argue. He just wanted to keep you safe, whether it was from this town or from yourself. Your eyes locked together and you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth.
“Can we talk about something else?” You pouted. It had been a long day and you wanted to forget where you were, if only for a few hours. Tom nodded.
It felt odd, having no one to hide from. Your nurses discouraged romantic attachments, especially with other patients. They said that a relationship would only confuse you more. They also thought that you were just some fragile little girl afraid of her own shadow. They didn’t know what you were capable of.
And you weren’t hiding anymore.
Tom’s breathing hitched as you lowered his hand from your scar to the waistband of your jeans. His free hand undid the rest of the buttons on your jacket and snaked around your back, unclipping your bra with one motion.
With your hands free, you removed his sweatshirt, followed by his belt. He slipped off his jeans before shimmying yours down your legs. You threw your jacket on the floor, followed by your shirt. The cool air found your bare skin, making your shiver, but his body was quick to warm yours. He whispered your name, kissing a trail from your neck down your stomach until he settled between your legs. Your fingers laced through his hair, desperate to feel something other than fear or anger or despair. You just wanted to feel him.
-
By the time Tom woke up, you were half dressed. You walked around the motel room in slacks and your white lacey bra. He couldn’t help but smirk at the sight.
“Hey,” He greeted, lazily swinging his legs over the side of the bed.
“I’m just going out for some coffee. Sleep in.” You playfully shoved him back onto the pillows. Tom hooked his fingers through your belt loops and pulled you onto his lap.
“Give me a second to get dressed and I’ll go with you.” His strong arms locked around your waist and those green eyes nearly had you. You shook your head and kissed his forehead.
“I can go get coffee by myself, Tom. You spent all day driving yesterday. You need the extra rest. Especially after last night.” You silenced his argument with a kiss. “I won’t be gone long.” Tom gave you a disapproving frown.
“Okay.” He said reluctantly. You pried yourself away and put on one of your nicer blouses. You wanted to look decent for your return to your home town. If you could look sane, maybe people would believe it.
You went out the door and Tom laid down, but had no intention of sleeping. He didn’t like sleeping alone. Without you, he saw him again. Swinging that fucking pick ax into someone’s skull. Sometimes it was your body he saw in those mines. Sometimes he saw his own.
You didn’t really just go to get coffee. You to Alli’s, the diner in town that you went to as a kid. You had heard that Amanda was working here as a manager. Funny. She used to be a law student. But hey, who were you to judge?
The subtlety you’d been hoping for was quickly ruined. It felt like every pair of eyes were on you. Cars even slowed down to get a better look. You tried your best to ignore them. None of them understood. None of them except Amanda.
The sign of Alli’s had new paint. It used to be blue. It was red now.
Going in was like a scene from a movie. The music stopped, all chatter halted and everything just froze. Dozens of stares burned into you and you wished you could sink back into that motel bed with Tom’s warmth pressed against you. Holding your chin a little high, you approached the register.
“What is going on out here? Y’all look like you’ve seen a-” Amanda froze, eyes meeting yours, “ghost.”
“Hey Mandy.”
Just like that, it all flooded back into you. And from the look of her eyes, you knew she felt it too. Neither of you were standing in that diner anymore. You were back at the house.
Seven Years Ago
Your legs ached, your muscles screaming from being strapped down for so long. But you couldn’t stop. If you stopped, she’d catch you.
“We have to go back for her!” Amanda sobbed. You were practically dragging her down the hall, fingers clamped around her wrist. Your other arm was pressed against your bleeding stomach like you could keep your insides from spilling out. With the amount of blood gushing from the wound, your vision was turning black around the edges. And still, you pulled Amanda along behind you as you kept running.
“Stop it! Stop!” Amanda fought your iron grip. “We have to go back for her! Ashley! Ashley!” Her screams for her sister went unanswered.
“Ashley’s dead.” You blurted. Amanda pretended not to hear you.
“Ashley! Ashley!” A figure appeared at the end of the hall.
“Get back here!” Dr. Krychek shrieked.
“Fuck.” You muttered, yanking Amanda through the door. She kicked and she screamed, but you didn’t care. You were getting out.
Present Day
“Y/N?” Amanda gasped. “Jesus, I thought you might be-”
“Dead?” You laughed humorlessly. You stepped towards her. “Nuts? Yes. But very much alive.”
You waited for her to yell. To slap you and to order you out of the restaurant. You weren’t prepared for her to fling her arms around you and cry happily into your shoulder.
“I thought I would never see you again.” She cried. “And after everything I said at the courthouse… I’m so glad you came home.”
Still shocked by the rush of affection, you hesitantly returned her hug. The last time you saw Amanda, she clawed your face and called you a murderer. She had to be pried off you by courthouse security. They said she wasn’t thinking straight because of the trial, but she was the only one who knew the truth. Dr. Krychek didn’t kill her sister. You did.
-
Back at the motel, Tom was getting anxious. Your ten minute coffee run had turned into an hour. His call to your cell went unanswered, sending an icy panic through his veins. If you were alone for too long, you could have one of your episodes, with or without those damn pills.
“She’s abandoned you, Tommy boy. Left you all alone with me.”
Tom ignored him and called again.
“Come on, you’re not really worried about her. You’re worried that, without her, you won’t be able to get rid of me.”
Tom quickly downed a handful of his pills and continued to ignore the voice. Leaving one more unanswered call, Tom decided enough was enough. He put on some jeans and his sweatshirt and grabbed the keys to his jeep.
“I’ll be back, Tom. You know I will.”
Tom took a deep breath and started the car. He didn’t make it far before he saw the glare of red and blue lights. Again, the freezing hand of panic seized his heart. No, no, no. He slammed on the breaks, leaving the jeep in the middle of the street to investigate.
The yard was teeming with police and paramedics. They had been called too late, judging by the body being loaded into the ambulance.
“Poor woman.” One of the neighbors. “Emily was supposed to play cards this weekend… poor woman.”
He couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief. It wasn’t you.
“What happened?” He wondered genuinely. The woman shrugged.
“The gardener found her. All cut up on her kitchen floor.” She shook her head. “It’s like the Krychek killings all over again.” She mused before walking over to a group of other neighbors. Tom observed the scene for another minute or two before returning to his jeep.
He found you walking down main street with another woman. You were smiling.
Tom quickly pulled over and caught up to you. You noticed the worry on his face before he threw his arms around you. In catching up with Amanda, you had forgotten he was waiting for you.
“You didn’t answer your phone and when I saw those cops I-” He took a deep breath to calm himself down. “Paranoid, I know.”
“Tom, I’m so sorry.” You pulled back and placed an apologetic kiss on his cheek. “We got to talking and I didn’t even think about how worried you would be.” His eyes darted between you and Amanda.
“Oh, how rude of me. I’m Amanda. Y/N and I were friends when we were kids.” She held out her hand to shake his and he took it, eyes narrowed slightly. She just kept smiling.
“It’s okay, Mandy. He knows.” You could tell that she had this part rehearsed well, but there was no need to pretend with Tom. She visibly relaxed. He gave her a small smile.
“Tom Hanniger.” Her expression was quizzical, as if she was trying to place the name. Tom clarified. “That Hanniger.”
You forgot that you weren't too far from Tom’s hometown. The news of the mine collapse and the Harry Warden murderers spread all over the state. Even after nine years, she recognized the name.
You recalled something strange Tom had mentioned.
“What were you saying about the police?” You asked. His expression darkened.
“They found a body.” His lips formed a grim line. There was something else.
“What?” You urged. You never hid anything from each other. He let out a heavy sigh.
“I heard someone say…” He trailed off, reluctant to share in fear of scaring the two of you. You and Amanda watched him expectantly. “They said it was like a Krychek killing.”
Amanda gasped, but you didn’t make a sound. It was like a light in your eyes just switched off. This is what he was afraid of.
“Baby, hey, look at me. Y/N, look at me.” He cupped your face in his hands, his thumb lightly tracing your trembling lip.
“W-what’s wrong with her?” Amanda squeaked.
“Y/N, I'm right here. You’re right here.” He slipped his hand in between the two of you, resting it over your blouse where he knew the scar was. After a moment, his touch brought you back. You blinked and the light flipped back on.
“Tom?” You whispered. He enveloped you in his embrace.
“It’s okay. I’ve got you.” He swayed slightly, rocking you in his protective arms. Amanda gave the couple a small smile.
“I’d better get back to work.” She sighed. Her eyes brightened with an idea. “Come to dinner tonight. Matt and I would love to have you.”
You parted from Tom to give her a nod. She excitedly walked back to the diner, leaving the two of you behind.
“She seems… well adjusted.” Tom noted, leading you to the jeep.
“She certainly coped better than I did.” You scoffed, repeating your statement from the previous night. Still feeling the aftermath of your attack, you pulled out your pills and dumped them into your hand. Shake. Shake. Shake. With a heavy sigh, you looked at the town you once called home. “God, it’s like nothing’s changed.”
“One thing has.” Tom put his hand on top of yours. “You’re not alone anymore.” Your lips turned up in a loving smile. With a sweet kiss Tom started the car.
-
General Tag: @rae-gar-targaryen; @takemepedropascal; @childhood-imagination; @mylovegoesto; @yellowbadgergirl; @itmejado
Dean's story is so sad. This man fought all of his life for free will and when he was finally free he never had a chance to choose. He didn't get to choose if he wanted to keep hunting or retire, he didn't get to choose what he wanted from Cas... He didn't even get to choose how to die and that's just so sad... Yes, maybe Dean always thought that he would die like that but there's a difference between expecting something and wanting something... And Dean didn't want to die, he wanted to live.
