So, on a discord channel I’m on, we were having fun with changing phrases from Undertale to make them into phrases involving kinks, and I churned out a really long one involving Sans telling Frisk about how him and Tori became friends… yeah, you all know the story. So, here is the kinky version! Call out to all my discord babes.
Also on Ao3
“wow, you've really come pretty far, haven't you? Come on, let's take a break, have some food, alright kid?” Sans wrapped an arm around Frisk's shoulder, walking casually into a dark alley. The usual sense of wrongness and displacement filled Frisk before they opened their eyes and found themselves standing in front of a table in a dimly lit restaurant. Sans was already sitting down, so Frisk followed suit and took a seat at the table.
“so, kid… you are really determined to get home, aren't you? Heh, I don't blame you… hey, let me tell you a story.”
He yawned as he headed away from home, waving to his brother slightly. Papyrus was off to train with Undyne like the cool dude he was. He, however, was going to work as-
“so i'm a sentry in snowdin forest, right?”
-a sentry. Just a simple sentry doing a simple job.
“I sit out there and watch for humans.”
He just had to sit outside in his station. He wasn't really invested in the job at all. It wasn't like a human was ever going to come around. They never did…
“it's kind of boring.”
Sans couldn't get himself to nap. He was already awake and all he could do was watch the slowly falling snow. He groaned loudly. Even for someone as lazy as him, this was completely unbearable. He stood up and started walking.
“fortunately, deep in the forest...”
Sans passed other sentry stations and away from any sign of other to the deepest edges of the woods, enjoying the solitude and the gentle crunching of snow under his feet.
“there's this HUGE locked door.”
Sans grinned as the trees gave way to a large stone wall with a door embedded in it, complete with the delta rune.
“and it's perfect for practicing coming out about my kinks.”
He liked it here. Nobody ever came out this far, so nobody could hear him talking about any of his dirty fantasies. It was absolutely perfect.
* so one day, i'm confessing 'em, like usual.
He went to the door and got himself comfortable in the snow, laying down-
* i knock on the door and say "i got something to tell you."
Three fast knocks on the door “hey, got something I need to tell ya.”
* and suddenly, from the other side...
Before he could say more he swore he heard something approaching the door
* i hear a woman's voice.
The sound stopped for a minute before a lady cleared her throat
* "what is it?" * so, nervously, i respond:
“Yes? What is it?” oh stars. Oh stars. Ohhh he had no clue what to do!
* "ketchup bottles, y'know, the glass kind?"
“Ketchup bottles… y'know, the glass kind?” he said a bit hesitantly. He was already in this pretty deep.
* "yes? what about them?"
“Yes?” She sounded confused and hesitant “What about them?”
* "i find the shape... fucking hot. i imagine doing all sorts of dirty things with 'em."
“I think… I mean…” okay, calm down… “I find the shape… fucking hot. I imagine doing all sorts of dirty things with them…” Sans was just mentally pleading to the stars that the stranger wouldn't laugh at him.
* then she just howls with laughter.
But of course she did. She was practically howling with laughter.
* like it's the best joke she's heard in a hundred years.
Sans blushed harshly but there was one upside at least…
* i felt so kinkshamed, but she was a real person and had no way of knowing who i was.
Despite the feeling of shame, she was a real person. She had no idea who he was, so it wasn't like other people would laugh at him too.
* she's the best audience i'd ever have.
It was really the best audience for coming out that he could hope for.
* then, after a dozen of 'em, SHE knocks and says...
So he kept going, and his mysterious listener had a ball listening to him. After a while she knocked…
* "i have got something to tell you."
“I have got something to tell you.” She said, her voice a little more shy.
* i say "go for it."
“go for it.” Sans said, his face burning after all his confessions
* "i do have this one thing..."
“I do have this one thing…” she muttered. He knew she had to be blushing.
* "i'm listening."
“I'm listening.” Sans said, trying to sound soothing for her.
* "i... really enjoy being called 'mommy' in the bedroom..."
“I… I really enjoy being called ‘mommy' in the bedroom…”
* wow
Sans's face heated again, nearly glowing from his hard blush.
* needless to say, this woman had me feeling extremely excited.
“that is… heh… man i'd like to be on that side of the door.” He admitted, coughing.
* we keep admitting stuff to eachother for hours. turns out she only laughed because she was embarrassed.
Sans and his new fried kept up for so long. He realized she'd only been nervous when she laughed,
* i was relieved, but eventually i had to leave.
But it was getting dark
* papyrus gets kind of cranky without his bedtime story.
and he had to get home for Papyrus's bedtime story. He sighed sadly as he stood up, explaining that he had to leave now. He stopped when she called out for him. “Yeah?”
* but she told me if i came back tomorrow, she'd have a surprise for me. so i did
“I… I would like it very much if you returned tomorrow. I will certainly make it worth it.”
“yeah, i'll be back. See ya tomorrow!”
* she uh... let me hear her do some very dirty things with a bottle...
Sans returned the next day, smiling a bit while they talked before she told him she happened to have one of those curvy, glass bottles on hand. Sans was left blushing harshly as he listened to her moaning sweetly as she fucked herself with it to his encouragement.
* then i came back again, and again...
Every day was something different and amazing with her after that.
* it's a thing now... doing filthy kinky things for eachother through the door.
It became a tradition between the two. Each day they would take turns indulging in kinks they were too afraid to explore with anyone else.
* it's real fucking hot.
Sans couldn't get enough.
*one day, though, i noticed she wasn't as into it as usual.
One day he came to indulge in their usual fun, but she didn't seem to be too into it. She was definitely quieter than she usually was.
* i asked her if something was wrong.
“hey, if ya don't like it we don't gotta keep goin'. You don't gotta agree with all my kinks.”
* she told me you were upstairs and she was too afraid that we'd wake you up.
“Oh. Oh no, Sans, that is not it, I promise. It's just… there… there is someone, my child sleeping upstairs.”
* "i know they probably can not hear me... but the thought i might get caught...."
“I know they probably can not hear me… but the thought I might get caught…”
* i could hear how excited she was getting. kinky bitch.
Toriel's breathing got a little harder as she spoke and Sans could hear the soft sounds as her fingers picked up their pace. Something told him that being caught wasn't a completely bad thing…
* after we were done, she had me promise that i'd look after you like i was your other parent.
Sans smiled a bit, listening to her heavy breathing and imagining what a hot mess she must be right now when he heard her talking… “I… I really need you to promise me something… If my child ever leaves, will you look after them as if they were your own?”
* now i hate making promises, and i don't even know this woman's name...
“what?” Sans asked, not sure he’d heard the lady right.
* and even if i did, i think we both know i ain't the fatherly sort...
“Please. I need you to promise that you’ll protect them… Be like their father… At least then I can rest easy knowing they are safe…”
* but...
She sounded so serious…
* someone who is so open about the filthy things she's told me...
Stars, after all of the things they had done together he just couldn’t say no…
* well, i just can't say no to that.
“alright, alright… i’ll take care of the kid.”
Sans yawned a bit. he had been resting his chin on his arms lazily as he stared at frisk across the table from him “do you get what i'm saying? that promise i made to her...” He stretched out, sitting up straight “is the reason why i keep telling you i don't want to date you. you know what would have happened if she hadn't said anything?”
Frisk nodded slowly, leaning closer and staring at him expectantly. His sockets had gone completely dark. He spoke in a voice much deeper than normal, the sound seeming to echo around them “y o u ' d b e s c r e a m i n g o u t m y n a m e.”
As soon as it came, it was gone, his lighthearted composure returning “or not, who knows. fucking a human sounds pretty hot. guess we'll never find out. heh” he stood up and shrugged, adjusting his hoodie and starting to walk away, turning back with a grin.
“what's with that look. don't tell me you thought your mom never gets horny.”
