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first tumblr post kinda nervous

#robert robertson #dispatch #robert dispatch #dispatch fanart #artists on tumblr #dispatch game #fanart #fan art #flambert #not directly #but thats my demographic #art

art is in your name. art is really in the eye of the beholder. look at me.

i often think about how kayne didn't get the opportunity for arthur to see him.

when they first meet arthur is blind and john describes kayne quite vaguely (due to the fear and nervousness), in coda arthur is blind and john is not here to describe kayne. in part 28 arthur is unconscious (+blind), in part 40 - blind. part 52 still blind (although he could potentially see kayne if the latter was there during fight with lillith and "i can see the stars" moment. but in part 58 arthur gets his sight back for a brief moment and sees lillith, larson, john/kiy, some of cascosa. and then he gives his sight up again.

there are a lot of sayings about eyes being the mirror of one's soul or how eyes speak, etc. for the majority of part 59 kayne hides his face and even when it's revealed he lets john describe him, but not the eyes. he interrupts. it's almost like he wants arthur to see and understand him but not entirely, because that would mean kayne must show his vulnerability, and that is beneath him. look at me artie, but not the parts i'm not ready to show.

in part 60:

kayne sounds almost bitter. he SHOULD - imagine finding out that the guy you're obsessed with can't see you, well, NEVER and 1,5 time he could - you're not there. kayne you poor loser. and again - all of that to be reunited with john

#he's ready to accept john describing everything to arthur as a substitute #guy is annoying and kayne would rather he not be there but he is so at least do your job john #idk the point of it all i just like to think about it #look at me artie - and he can't #see #not directly #malevolent #kayne malevolent #arthur lester #john doe malevolent #it feels weird to tag arkayne when i just talk about them in text posts boedering on analysises #they're just like that #analys1lls

Okay, so. It's very interesting to me that the beauty of the earth itself is something that shows up in the Zachariah worlds pretty consistently? If you squint. The world being destroyed, bomb, pollution, even the Lucifer he reaches for is draped in garden imagery.

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I think too about how the first thing lucifer does when he gets back to earth? Feeds the birds. There's something about it. Even the family is not something he's looking at with hatred.

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The first snap of violence comes only when a hostile angel tails him. The snake only bit when it was challenged. Snakes in the garden... is it really such a strange thing for a snake to live here, too?

LUCIFER: "It's beautiful out here, isn't it? It's funny. The things you don't think you'll miss at all you end up missing the very, VERY most."

And he pets the tree.

s11

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The nature-loving angel is the one you don't want to look at?

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s13, drilling into the recesses of his head:

These are the things Lucifer marvelled at:

"...a chance to live in paradise..."

13x07

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You break everything you touch. Reminds me of his conversation with Jack, about humans and angels being oil and water.

(Fall at their feet. Don't dominate.)

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But as far as nature goes, you wonder if Zachariah might've suspected that, or at least seen it. How Lucifer may not have cared for the people, because he SAW their destructive tendencies. But the awe for nature... even some of the parts of human nature... realer than you think.

The Lucifer Zach reached for vs the Lucifer we know

Zach's Cas vs the Lucifer we know

"Beauitful, isn't it?" // "Beautiful out here, isn't it?"

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"...stars...galaxies... a whole universe out there... You have to live your life for you. This is our chance to escape our past, our sins, and start over."

13x23

EDIT:

Sorry to bring this back around to The Little Prince but... somehow reads like a shadow version of

#zach stuff #i think about how the first thing lucifer does when he gets to earth?#he sits on a bench and feeds the birds #and when he's getting tortured by AW michael you can see the awe with which he views the universe #his subconscious refers to His earth as... paradise #the humans don't know they're IN paradise etc etc #lucifer stuff #you break everything you touch #michael lucifer created for cosmic war #can't beat that nature can they #is it terrible i think lucifer could get zachariah to convert lickety split???#raphael perhaps too #maybe even amara #and the THING is #the war angels are the thing that messed it up #but they can't LOOK at that #not directly #so interesting that in SO many myths the crime IS knowledge #and the gift is knowledge

Something I noticed by being around the theorizing space of fandoms a lot, especially mascot horror, is that people don't actually work with the information the story gives them. Evidence or storytelling devices often get ignored or twisted beyond recognition. Weaponized, almost.

Poppy has made her role in the story abundantly clear, for example, and yet there are still people, popular theorists even, who still think she is going to be a twist villain next chapter. This isn't a theory as much as a bias people want validated, so they walk backwards from that conclusion, regardless of what the story says.

Every character is treated as an unreliable narrator if their words don't fit the theory while another character's words are treated as fact.

Someone with biased opinions or very clear lack of knowledge is listened to, while nuance is often ignored.

The scientists calling the kids evil does not make them evil and neither does the experiments thinking every staff member is guilty mean everyone deserved to be killed. Not everyone is a Mrs. Gracie.

Instead, they often try to prove that a character or the story is lying to them, just wrong or that something else happened that makes the information the story gives us irrelevant. It is given to us for a reason. I've seen enough people try to discredit Preston Willard and anything he has to say in the Orientation Notebook for no real reason other than it contradicts a theory that makes no actual sense within the canon but gets fully contradicted be Preston's words.

We need to treat these as stories, and not treat every new information like it is trying to jumpscare us with a twist or the opposite of what canon says. There is a lot of nuanced grey, and a lot of theories reduce the story to a black and white fanon.

Poppy being 1007 genuinely got people very upset prior to Chapter 5 because it contradicted Elliot=Prototype when there was a lot of evidence against that one prior

#poppy playtime #poppy playtime chapter 5 spoilers #poppy playtime spoilers #not directly #but some might see it that way #writing rant #theory rant

Went to a Women's Weifhts class

Nearly had a panic attack because I couldn't find it.

Found the place only to learn it wasn't really a class (despite it being listed under classes on the app I booked through). Instead I had to tell them what I wanted to do (I could barely talk) and they'd show me how to use a machine that covered those areas.

Did two things focusing on my legs and now I can't bend down without loosing balance. And I have no idea how I'll be tommorow.

Let's hope I'm not worse because it will not have been worth it

#pursonal #not asd #not directly

…

I and plenty of my peers have sniffed lab things and regretted it.

Got scolded by OSHA once and tbh this is bad for you and like pretty old school lab training like a decade ago so I tell my students don’t do it it’s bad for you.

(Smell is a very important sense for the mol bio wet lab. Sometimes. Maybe.)

This stupid movie/story is so endearing to me.

#supervisor: if ur BME and TEMED smells means they r still working : D #other supervisor: (sniffs bottle) DOES THIS SMELL LIKE 70% ETOH TO U???#other other supervisor fills the etoh bottle with acetonitrile so me taking a whiff: THIS IS NOT ETOH WHY WOULD U DO THIS #reason idk 100000 why I find this movie/story so endearing #some other time: THIS SMELLS OFF YOU HAVE NOT ADDED THE MEOH THE TRANSFER WILL BE SHIT #don’t smell ur reagents guys #not directly #if you have to you fan wtv fumes come off the opening then go contemplate your life #and for god’s sakes don’t sniff the bacteria plate just bc someone tells u to #i miss the lab #and the ultracentrifuge even if it kinda freaks me out #project hail mary #ryland grace

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

hold me here, surrounded by you watch me with cloudy, lust-hazed eyes reward me as your muscles tense my shoulders clamped between your thighs

#this one bumped the rating to m #so enjoy #is this inspired by the 'january texting river and river abandoning their meeting' image series by spittinwatches?#not DIRECTLY #in that i had the last four lines already #but it might have been a factor in me writing this one before the other tmh poem i also have lines for #january declared war. maybe this is river's response #the mars house #january stirling #river gale #poetry

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