#not octopus

[theineffableauthor]

(Holding 7 snake plushies, standing infront of pictures of snakes, after ranting about snakes for an hour)

”Can you guess my favoruote anmial??”

[kyosohmastan]

When you see a rice ball with salmon or octopus filling in it...

[theineffableauthor]

Why do you hate octopi/squid

What is your stance on cuttlefish

I’m so glad you asked.

When we are kids we are told that there is no so such thing as supernatural creatures or aliens. No such thing as the loch ness monster. There is. But when we find them we study them and simply call them animals. We could find dragons and we would call them overgrown lizards. Octopuses (and squids) are those creatures.

Octopuses (and squids) have 3 hearts. They have 8 arms (and I mean arms because while squids/cuttlefish have tentacles (still way too many) octopuses have arms as they don’t really qualify as tentacles). You could say they have 9 ”brains” spread throughout their arms and main body (although I’m not entirely clear on that fact and how it works). They can change colours to camouflage. They have blue blood. If this isn’t unnatural I don’t know what is.

I am not a religious person but if I were I would say they were creatures created by the devil himself. They are scarily intelligent, I would even say that they are smarter than humans. And if humans are smart enough to be truly evil and octopuses are smarter than us… well. Octopuses and squids are evil creatures (but so are we so I cant judge too much, ig).

Maybe I’m just too judgmental or biased but to be honest, they scare me. They are my biggest fear. I’m so scared of octopuses and squids its not even funny. They absolutely terrify me. Thats why I hate them so much.

And yes, i count cuttlefish in the same group as octopi and squids. Actually, in my language they are called sepia-like octopus. I don’t hold as much hatred for them though. They still scare me.

[space-helicopter]

I just apologized to my dad for not being an octopus