Feb 26, 2025
reading other people’s ma theses and getting irrationally jealous of their dedication sections where they list all the people who emotionally or financially or physically (as in doing cooking and such? what is that called) supported them through their work and didn’t let them give up
#no one in my life really cares about this#the only one who does is also very busy#so it’s not like i can often talk about it to anyone#studying feels more and more pointless#even though it’s not really#but i’ve learnt enough from this program#i want to now write my own stories#not write research#and my life is just constantly like#doing everything alone bc ppl are busy or live far away#looming threats on the horizon and always the question of money#almost crying in public bc i lost one euro from the bottle returns#and it wasn’t there when i went to put the bottle money in the atm#which meant i couldn’t pay the bill due#and had to borrow money for one euro#one!#bc i spent all my money on medicine to help me sleep#and it’s not even working#and i don’t have a therapist and can’t afford one anyway#and i need a pet to stay alive for but i can’t afford one either#i am tired of being disabled and i am tired of everything#txt#personali