notadrde replied to your post: @ahellofapilot i can’t reply because you’re on...
Pelor isn’t inherently judgy, and they were let in because none of them were evil, but it’s also worth stepping back and remembering that none of them have a close relationship with him like Pike does with Sarenrae or Vax does with the raven queen. Pelor is Neutral Good, meaning he’s motivated only be the cause of good as it stands against evil. He’s also way more powerful than Sarenrae, which is why he retains so many angels, but here’s the thing about D&D angels - ½
notadrde replied to your post: @ahellofapilot i can’t reply because you’re on...
2/2 is that they’re ALL Lawful Good, regardless of the alignment of the deity they serve, because they are profoundly obedient to those higher powers. So if you’re effectively a rando walking up to Pelor’s place, you can’t go in if you’re evil, because alignment is somewhat tangible in DnD and angels could conceivably sense that. I don’t think it’s judgy for a deity to care where people stand in the cosmic good/evil conflict when that conflict is one of their things.
okay fair. it’s totally reasonable to keep evil people out. i’m just trying to say that pelor and his angels INSTANTLY rubbed me the wrong way - mostly because of that sense of JUDGMENT. there’s a difference between trying to figure out if someone is evil and preventing an evil person from coming into your god’s hall, and actively sneering at a person because you don’t think they’re really good enough but *technically* they’re not evil so i *guess* they can come in.
i also understand the “this is just some group of randos” but the problem was NOT with confronting them/guarding the hall - it was the sneering, the disdain, the sense that pelor’s angels didn’t really think vox machina were good enough for him. and pelor himself did a lot of “you’re not really good enough for me” when it came to belief and champions - the whole speech about the “faithless” was a little on the nose, as was the “i have many champions already” thing. like... okay that’s fine, that’s fair, you don’t want to be served by people who don’t actually care for you, and you already have people who do care and whom you already trust - but pelor made it sound like an accusation against vox machina for *not* worshipping.
also just... like i mentioned earlier, the golden halls, the fact that he sits in this golden throne room in a giant golden castle.... i know matt was trying to invoke sense of grandeur, and when it comes to religious grandeur, most westerners really only have cathedrals as something to compare with. but. it just - it was like listening to the pastor preach about sin again.
and THAT was the worst part - when vex had finally barreled into the endgame and was floating in silence and matt said this trial was designed to “burn away sin” - it hurt. i actually felt my heart sink into my stomach when he said “sin” and i’d already been kinda mad at pelor and that just clinched it. because sin isn’t.....
look sin is a pretty christian thing. no other religion has a concept of sin that works like christianity’s - not even JEWISH concepts of sin fit the christian idea. sin in christianity is basically this evil taint that infects all people from the beginning of existence and that you can’t escape and you can’t get away from, and the only way to get rid of it is to be purified by jesus. like. you’re responsible for it, but you’re spiritually incapable of stopping it from happening.
and yeah, okay, matt only said the word “sin” which could have been a translation of a lot of other things - but christian sin fit in so well with the whole christian-like atmosphere, the cathedral feeling, the sense of judgment - and for ME PERSONALLY, because of my experiences with the church, it really, really hurt.
especially when the next thing matt gave vex was “what if you’re not good enough, what if you weren’t worthy, is this what oblivion feels like” and do you know how many YEARS i spent as a child worried that i wasn’t good enough for god and KNOWING i wasn’t good enough for god because my pastors and teachers constantly told me so, and being afraid that i didn’t believe enough to go to heaven and how long it’s taken me to finally come to a space where i can feel good about myself and sometimes i STILL WORRY ABOUT SIN even though i’m atheist.
and then the implication behind “what is she to you” for me was not “hey, tell me how cool my champion is” but instead “if you don’t give me what i want to hear i’m just gonna let her die and/or reject her” like. the whole sequence felt like pelor judging vex and keyleth and vox machina for not believing
yeah i’m probably experiencing a knee-jerk reaction right now, and there’s a good chance that after we see more of vex and pelor interacting i’ll change my mind again and feel better about it, but right now i’m just. i’m so mad at pelor i’m so mad at how that episode/game was supposed to be a cool uplifting “YEAH VEX IS CHAMPION OF PELOR THIS IS SO NEAT” moment and instead it just made me feel small and sinful and miserable, like i’m fucking eight years old again.
(again please don’t think i’m mad at you or matt or anyone in particular - i’m probably overreacting and i KNOW how dnd works i just...... i have a lot of complicated emotions right now)