#nparents

[whatevenarefeels]

INTJ with Narcissistic parents

Concluding that a lot of my I and J ways may have been subtly shaped by having

narcissistic parents. and it finally makes sense why all of these years..

people viewed me as self-righteous.

[enchantresskirara]

i’ve been thinking these days how i am usually terrified of my parents watching the shows i watch or reading the things i read. not because they’re bad but because of the fear of being watched or mocked. it’s as if... i have this inmense fear of being rejected or something? that makes me really difficult to, for example, enjoy watching a show in front of my parents. not even that... it makes me really difficult to watch a show or read something in front of people that aren’t my close friends. i’m unable to do it. even talking to some of my irl about something i like... it’s difficult because i’m afraid of being laughed at or them judging me or something. 

i know it’s absurd but... idk i feel i can’t help it.

[delcat177]

Nparent holiday stuff

My brain keeps singing (to the tune of Old MacDonald) “I don’t have to deal with dad, he’s not in my life!”. It’s my personal carol this year because after three decades, this is a year almost totally without dealing with my NDad. Last year was technically the first, but last year was...last year was a lot of things, y’know.

He still managed to find a way to fuck with things this year, because he’s skilled at that, but it wasn’t as bad as it used to be. It was just one horrible day this year, which is miles and miles ahead of the old shit. It can get better. It takes years and years and years, but it gets better.

I wish I could take all of you that need it and bring you straight to better right now, and I love you all deeply, and I am so fucking proud of you. You are not what they try to define you as. Thank you for not giving up.

[enchantresskirara]

my mother believes she’s such an altruistic being and she doesn’t even know how to treat people around her or ask things nicely. sometimes i don’t even know if she wants a daughter or a housemaid. and the whole covid-19 and quarantine situation is making things worse. 

[cococowboah]

Everytime I'm tempted to romanticize a past relationship that I know was toxic, I like to remember this phrase:

Even a little bit of cyanide spoils a good wine.

Even if a relationship had it's good parts, and there are good parts to pretty much every toxic relationship, it's not worth it to torture ourselves with the "what if's" or wonder if we could have stuck it out for the sake of the good when the relationship was killing us inside.

I cut off a lot of relationships, mostly familial, that were toxic once I reached my mid 20s, once I met my husband and realized I didn't have to take the good with the toxic, I could choose to only have the good, to only have people around who loved me and would never abuse me in one way or another.

I didn't have to take the cyanide laced wine (or cookie, whatever metaphorical treat you prefer,) I could choose a clean, fresh, healthy relationship.

It's hard especially when someone you've cut off for this reason passes away. You're tempted to not speak ill of the dead. I've been enduring this exact situation for a few years now and only now am I realizing that nothing changed in my past just because he's permanently out of my life now.

Remember that the person they were while alive was the person they chose to die as. They could have gotten help for themselves so they could drop their toxic traits or learn to control them. They could have taken a moment of self reflection to understand why someone they thought cared about them would cut them off.

They chose not to.

And that's not your problem, in life or death.

[jmillz888]

Drabble: I happened into some really great conversations on Reddit that I'm thankful for.

Never made an account, but peeked in a few times and was validated that certain experiences had indeed happened to other people. Like growing up with Narcissistic Parents, etc.

[fluoxanax]

my mom just gaslighted me this morning once she saw that her idea didn't work. well done.