☆┊STARTING TODAY, YOU ARE A HOST!
SUMMARY: after stumbling into the host clubs room and breaking an expensive vase, you have to face the dire consequences.. with grim of course.
MASTERLIST
GENRE: fluff, crack-fic
NOTES/WARNINGS: accidentally walking in while changing (not sexual), might be ooc, canon divergence
reader is afab, reader is yuu
after spending a couple days at nrc, you and grim have decided to finally start looking for ways to get you home. you held the creature tightly in your arms as you walked up and down the halls of the school, searching for the library. “myahh, henchman.. do you even know where you’re going? maybe i should lead the way. ” grim snarls, leaving you to roll your eyes.
“be quiet. no way in hell am i letting you off on your own. do you want to break another chandelier and risk another expulsion?” you retorted as you opened the multiples and multiples of doors. “all these rooms, and not a single one is the library..”
“maybe ya needa ask that ace guy.” grim shrugs, making you cringe at the thought. “in your dreams. him? helping someone at all? don’t make me laugh.” empty classroom after empty classroom. your constant bickering with grim had distracted you from even finding the library itself, ignoring the obvious signs.
unfortunately, your carelessness was going to cost you greatly. as you entered what seemed like your hundredth classroom, you were relieved to find the place bustling with students, hoping this’d be the place you were looking for. spoiler alert: nope!!
“welcome.” this isn’t a library.. it looks like.. a host club?!
night raven host club. a place where young men have far too much time on their hands, entertain other young men and women from other schools who also have too much time on their hands. think of it as.. a playground of sorts.
you hold the door handle tightly, practically leaving grim in a chokehold as you wished to fall into a hole and disappear. “sorry. wrong room.” you mumbled as you tried closing the door slowly. a hand pried the two sides of the doors back open, startling you at the incredibly fast reflexes.
“AGH?!” you yelp, nearly falling backwards. a boy with blonde hair and a very tacky looking hat stared daggers into your face, the silence becoming very uncomfortable. “could you be..” he murmurs, you and grim looking at each other with confused looks.
“..[MC] the magicless perfect and his weasel grim, perchance?” he smiles, causing a shiver to go down your spine. something tells you he’s trouble. “haha, nope! wrong person! super sorry, bye!” you try getting away, but your efforts are in vain as the boy pulls you back into the room, almost dropping grim face first.
“non! stay, you have walked into the host club after all.” he stated sternly, a whole group of other boys now staring you down. “floyd. jade. have you gotten the information i requested?” the one with light gray hair spoke, looking at two tall and lanky young men who are nearly identical. “im afraid not. they have just stepped foot onto campus recently with no traces of information or background.” one of them spoke.
“but they’re so small and teeny! i think i’ll call em shrimpy and his little buddy sealie.” im pretty they’re talking about me. and grim. you think to yourself as you stood there awkwardly. “..very well,” the silver haired boy looked at you, a polite smile on his face. “welcome to the host club, prefect. azul ashengrotto, housewarden of octavinelle. feel free to contact me in a pinch.” he came over to shake your hand, in which you reluctantly did.
“mon dieu! where are my manners!” the blonde exclaimed. “apologies, rook hunt, vice-housewrden of pomefiore at your service.” he took your hand away and lifted it up to his lips, making you flinch. “right..” grim pretends to gag, catching the attention of the two tall boys from earlier.
“so what really are ya, sealie? you some kinda raccoon or somethin?” the twin on the left said, laughing like a maniac as he snatched grim outta your hands. “now, now, floyd. even if our guest is a beast, it is still a guest. we must treat them with care.” the one, who you’re now assuming would be jade, said with a gentlemanly expression.
he turns his attention to you, his smile never dissipating. “a pleasure to have you, prefect. i am jade leech, vice-housewarden of octavinelle. if you couldn’t guess, this is my twin brother, floyd.” he pointed to his brother, who seemed to be squeezing the living daylights out of your ally. “GRIM!” you run over to grab your fuzzball, but he seemed to be locked in an iron grip. “hm? don’t worry shrimpy, you’ll be next on the squeezing list!” floyd giggles, making you shudder.
“oh my, things are beginning to look lively, aren’t they? i believe i’ve seen that young man at the entrance ceremony.” a short boy with a much deeper voice than you anticipated spoke, looking at his almost opposite counterpart. a tall man with horns, who seemed to be pouting, looked at him with a blank expression. “..is that so?”
“i say we join the fun!” the shorter one smiles, walking over to you and the twin. “welcome to night ravens host club, prefect! lilia vanrouge, vice-housewarden of diasomnia! over there is malleus draconia, diasomnia’s housewarden and future king of briar valley.” he stated almost casually, your brain taking moments to process that information. “don’t be intimidated, he’s just shy.” he smiles, the horned man behind him narrowing his eyes.
“don’t tell such lies, lilia.” he sighs, standing beside the vice housewarden. “okay, look. nice to meet all of you, buuuutt i really gotta get goin now!” you try prying grim out of floyds arms, in which they suddenly loosen. did you do it? “im bored of ya sealie, cmere shrimpy!” he giggled, turning to you. “no, no, NO!”
rook smiled from afar, watching the scene unfold. azul and jade stand by the side, watching as floyd chased you down. “floyd, don’t terrorize the guest of honor. it’d be such a shame if we lost a potential customer.” azul sneers, adjusting his glasses. the leech twin doesn’t spare him a second glance, only charging at you as you ran at high speeds.
“GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!” you shout, feeling your life flash before your eyes. “cmere, shrimpy! i just wanna give you a niiiccee tiiiggghhtt squeeze!!” he giggles, grim following trailing far behind him. “HANDS OFFA MY HENCHMAN!”
as you’re running, you feel yourself trip over your feet and nearly fall face first onto the floor. the nearest object to keep you steady was a pillar, which you thankfully grabbed onto in time. relief resided within you as you saved yourself from injury.
until..
CRASH!
sounds of glass shattering on the ground also happen to shatter your peace, peering over to see pieces of broken glass patterns scattered across the ground. “shit.”
lovely! first you and your accomplices char ancient statues and destroy a chandelier, now you can add destroying vases to your list! what a record.
“oh dear,” jade sighs, staring at the shards on the floor. “that just so happened to be an ancient vase found in the cave of wonders.. we were going to auction this off at our most recent gala.” he collects the broken glass pieces into his hand and stares at them with a frown.
“auction..? gala..?” you murmur, starting to feel a sweat on your brow. “that vase was going to start at 10,000,000 thaumarks.. what a shame.” azul sighs, feeling a plan formulate in his head. meanwhile, you felt your soul meet the gods and heroes then fall all the way down to greet the great seven.
no way are you going to be able to afford that.. grim felt like he was aging rapidly, falling over and fainting as he heard the outrageous pricing. “oh my, and i quite liked that vase too. it took me centuries to find it amongst my travels.” lilia murmurs, also catching you wide-eyed. is he being literal or figurative? at this rate, you won’t put anything past anyone in this damn world.
“non, non.. this simply cannot do.” rook sighs, holding his hat over his eyes. suddenly, a spotlight shines over him, raising his hat to reveal a mischievous gleam in his eyes. “then it is settled! starting today, you are the host clubs errand boy!” he points at you and grim, causing the beast beside you to hiss.
“WHO ARE YA CALLING ERRAND BOY! I AM GRIM THE GREAT! A MAGNIFICENT MAGE!” grim shrieks, making you cover his mouth instinctively. “e-errand boy?” you repeat, raising your brow. “oui, errand boy! we need someone to run the host clubs errands, and you both just so happen to qualify for the job!” rook smiles, grabbing you both by the shoulders.
and so, you ran the errands. running back and forth and back and forth and back and forth.. you get the idea. they worked you ragged, possibly even worse than crowley if you wanted to exaggerate things. you felt eyes on you each trip you made, you hated it. “henchman.. im tired..” grim yawns, swaying left and right drowsily. as much as you and grim argued, it was obvious you didn’t hate each other in the slightest.
“here, i’ll carry you.” you lift him up into your arms, cradling him in one hand while holding the brown paper bag in the other. when he doesn’t have his huge mouth open, grim was quite adorable. like a house cat. you smiled as he napped peacefully, setting down the brown bag onto a nearby table.
“oh goodness! is that yours?” a girl nearby chimes, pointing to the sleepy critter in your arms. “hm? ah, grim? not exactly, but he’s a friend.” you laugh awkwardly, rocking him in your arms. “he’s adorable! may i pet him?” she asks, a slight blush forming on her cheeks.
“sure, why not?” you smile, allowing her to brush her hand atop of grim’s head. wait, how’s there a girl here? “so cute! can i pet him too?” another girl mused, then another, then another, and another, til eventually you were surrounded by a mob.
if grim was awake, he’d either bask in this affection or push it away. but right now, he purred in contentment. “hm..” azul hums, staring at the group of girls and boys crowding you and your mascot. “..beautiful! absolutely beautiful!” rook evades the crowd and grabs your hands. “never mind errand boy, non, you’re going to be a host!”
“excuse me, what?” the crowd squealed in excitement at the thought of a new host, and to have it be such a cute and handsome “boy” as well! azul smirks, watching as another entryway to his elaborate pyramid scheme opens up. “jade, floyd, escort our club mate to the changing halls with a proper change of clothes.”
“right away./oki doki boss!” each twin grabs one of your shoulders and carries you towards the changing rooms as you gripped grim with all your might just to ensure he doesn’t fall. that weasel can sleep through anything..
“okay, okay, i get it! put me down, i’ll change myself!” you groan as you were placed onto the ground, yanking the uniform off the hanger. the two siblings awaited you outside the changing rooms, causing you to internally panic. there’s no way you’re going to escape now! and even if you could, you can’t just leave grim here! what to do..
maybe your best bet is to just play along. who knows what these stupid mages are capable of doing if you managed to leave.. you shudder at the thought of it. you change into the uniform, coming out with a fresh new style. jade chuckles, smiling in approval. “fufu, you look quite nice in your uniform. however, your hair is an absolute birds nest. it is best we take care of that immediately.”
“really? i thought it was fine— OW!” floyd aggressively brushes your unkempt hair out, causing pain to your scalp after each stroke. “sorry shrimpy, but ya got tons an’ tons of knots in you’re hair!” he shrugs, your yelps making this sound like a torture chamber.
“he’s readyyy!!” floyd cheers, presenting you like an item on display. rook covers his mouth with his hand, eyes wide as he looks at you. lilia holds his hand on his chin with a smile, inspecting you with careful consideration. “my, my, the uniform quite suits you! wouldn’t you agree, malleus?” he looks to malleus who stared at you with an intense gaze, almost to the point its uncomfortable.
“..you look much more presentable compared to before.” he stated straightforwardly, causing your eyebrow to twitch. was that a compliment? “gee, thanks.” you sigh, scratching the back of your neck. “C’EST MAGNIFIQUE! YOU LOOK STUNNING, PREFECT!” rook exclaims, rushing over to you and capturing you in a hug. “ACK—ROOK! CUT IT OUT!”
you shriek, feeling yourself lifted off the ground at the boys unexpected strength. “aww.. no fair! i wanna squeeze shrimpy too!” floyd pouts, pushing rook off of you and ultimately replacing him. “CAN YOU GUYS JUST GET OFF OF ME?!”
“floyd, that’s quite enough. as exciting as it is to welcome a new member, we still have guests to entertain.” azul sighs, massaging his temple. “boo, i don’t wanna.” the eels grip never relented, holding onto you tightly without even taking into account his job and status. you felt like you were going to burst before you were suddenly separated from the crushing grip.
“now, now, gentlemen. let’s settle down. azul is right, there are guests to attend to and we mustn’t dally on our duties as hosts! rook can show our new hire the ropes while the rest of us shall continue to entertain as per usual.” lilia insists, using his magic to keep floyd a considerable distance away from you. “lovely! what a beautiful idea! come now, prefect! we must transform you into a refined gentleman!”
and just like that, you’ve began hosting. as rook charmed the masses with his sweet words and enchanting poems, you chose to observe how the others won the hearts of these young women and men. “my dear, let me stay by your side for as long as the world allows me to. i am speechless just being within your presence, truly.” rook gets onto one knee, holding the hand of the woman before him. her hand rested on his chest, feeling it as it beat. “oh, rook..” she sighed.
oh god. you had to do that? seriously? you’ve gotta be joking. you look to the twins section, noticing they work in pairs rather than separately. “jade, you’re such a kind soul.. i’d love to end up with someone like you.” a boy coos as he covers his cheeks with his hands, only earning a chuckle out of the man beside him. “is that so? how utterly intriguing that is.. if you’d like, you can stop by the mostro lounge after this. your presence would certainly light up the whole cafe..”
“yeah, yeah, jade would be reeaaall happy to see ya there.” floyd adds, holding his brothers shoulder with a grin. you don’t even need to blink twice to know those two are lying by the skin of their teeth. jade couldn’t care less if that guy stepped foot onto the premises. he probably wouldn’t even care if they were eaten by vicious animals!
lilia seemed like quite the fan favorite. “my travels are certainly a tale! if you all would like, i am more than happy to tell you about them. each story has shaped me into the cute and adorable little thing i am today!” he muses, earning some ooo’s and aaa’s from the people around him. tales? why make yourself sound so old?
malleus was an interesting case. he didn’t seem to have spoke much, and once he did, it seemed his only topic were gargoyles. what weirdos reside in this club anyway? “ah, [MC], you and your cat seem to be quite famous at night raven college. the attention must be stressful.” a girls voice cuts you out of your thoughts, averting your attention.
right. you got this. just be cool! “it hasn’t really bothered me til recently, but i guess i’d better get used to it if i plan to keep attending this school without magic.” you answer, earning a nod from her. “so, how do you like it so far?” a boy asks, making you think for a bit. to be honest, things have been going shitty for the past few days. you made, what? 2 friends not including grim?
“i think my experience here is going to be wonderful,” lie. “especially since i get to spend my time with new personalities.” you smile, trying to charm them to the best of your abilities. was the making you cringe? yes. but it’s necessary.
“well to me, it seems like you’re nothing but a waste of space on their roster.” a girl jeers, stifling a laugh as she looked at you. “let’s be honest, a mage attending a magic academy without being able to master simple fire spells shouldn’t have been admitted at all. letting you into this club must be a way for rook to keep you from looking pitiful.”
what the hell..? what’s with this woman? it’s not like you had a choice! the urge to just straight up punch her is strong but thank the lords you had some self control left in you. “is that so? thank you for your delightful input.” you manage to murmur out, trying to seem unfazed. she hated it. suddenly, the table is tipped over and a hand grabs onto your wrist tightly.
you feel yourself pulled down, catching yourself before falling onto the girl. “[MC]! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! GET OFF OF ME!” she squeals, trying to “push” you off of her as she pretends to struggle. the attention of every guest is glued onto the unfolding scene before them, her screams growing louder. rook walks over, his expression neutral for the first time. cold water is poured over the two of you, making both of you soaked.
“you’re kinda loud, can you shuddup?” floyd scoffs, a bucket in his hands. “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” her demeanor changes once her eyes landed on rook, her personality doing a 180. “r-rook.. those two brutes had just assaulted me! you’re not going to let them get away with it are you..?”
awh hell nah what the fuck man. this is the most pathetic girl you’ve ever seen in your lifetime. he sighs and tosses the girl a towel, making her swoon and smile. “awh.. you’re so sweet! than—“
“im disappointed, ma chérie.” he sighed, using another towel to dry off your hair. “faking a scene of such seriousness, i cannot approve of you.” rook looks to the girls expression, her face pale and drained of color. “oh dear, how troublesome. i believe it’d be best if we were to show her a proper goodbye.” lilia adds, frowning as he looked at her.
“faking an assault. how foolish of you.” malleus crosses his arms in disapproval. the girl stood in the middle of the attention, eyes laying on her at every angle. “jade. floyd. show our guest off campus.” azul snaps his fingers, the twins pulling out their magic pens. “of course. however, id rather not have to touch the thing so magic may be our next option.” jade smiled politely despite his insulting jab.
“you.. YOU IDIOTS! ROOK YOU IDIOT!” she yells, kicking and yelling as she was carried to the exit of night raven college. “how embarrassing, to think we housed a guest such as that in our club.. truly shameful. prefect, are you hurt?” rook asks, looking at you with a concerned expression.
“ah, no. i’m alright.” you reassured everyone, making a few sigh in relief. “i believe you should change into a new set of clothes. you’re are soaking wet right now.” lilia points out, making you embarrassed. “right.. i’ll change into the clothes from earlier.”
and so, you did. this whole incident was such an embarrassing thing to happen. while grim peacefully slept away, you had to deal with this shit?? this host club sucks. as you change, you hear the curtains shift causing you to swiftly look back. “prefect, we’ve got you extra towels just in ca—“
rook looks up and saw you. in feminine undergarment. he freezes, making you scream. “GET OUT??” the other host club members gather around, seeing as rook froze in place. as much as they all hate to admit it, they caught a glimpse of you before he closed the curtains, causing them all to look at each other.
no way.. you’re not a guy? they had just assumed so! considering there are some hyper-feminine guys here nobody really bats an eye to it. you blended in! you came out with an expression practically begging to be killed, feeling the life sucked out of you at each set of eyes on you.
malleus already knew from the start, as did lilia. jade suspected as much, but couldn’t help but feel surprised that his suspicions seemed to be correct. floyd was actually quite excited in contrast to azul’s extreme shock. seriously, the poor octo-mers face was red. rook couldn’t even move. like jade, he suspected as much.. yet..
“this proves to be quite the predicament..” rook suddenly spoke, his face twisting into one of delight and joy. “you had me fooled! color me impressed! from now on, i shall call you trickster!” he smiles, holding your hand tightly. you don’t even have time to process their reactions before you’re once again pulled into rooks embrace.
“i dont see why this is such a big deal though! im just doing your stupid club to repay my debts! who cares if im not a dude!” you groan, trying to break out of his tight hug. “oya? then i shall take your word for it! we expect great things from you, trickster!” he hums, seemingly unaffected by your uncaring attitude.
“your secret is safe with us, [MC]. we wouldn’t dream of sharing this with the public.. fufu..” jade smiles, his laugh sounding suspicious and slightly untrustworthy. “don’t you worry your pretty little head, shrimpy! jade, azul, an’ I won’t spill the beans.” floyd laughs, ruffling your hair with his hand. “r-right. ahem, we’ll be sure to keep your secret under wraps.” azul clears his throat, offering you a polite smile.
“we won’t tell a soul, you may take my word for it.” lilia flashes you a grin, his word more trustworthy than the trio next to you. “if anyone wishes to tell your secret with the others, they will not get the chance. you may count on me.” malleus mumbles, his threat sending a chill down your spine. “we’ll treat you with the utmost care! count on it!” rook finally adds, your eyebrow twitching.
“..thanks guys.” something tells me this’ll be a long year..
A/N: WOOOOOO FIRST ONE DONE!!!! lowkey kinda disappointed but WHATEVER‼️‼️‼️
date published: 8/3/24
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