#oblivioncastro

[vlad-thee-inhaler]

For @x-sparkling-sun-x. 💕 Sorry for the ugly scratching out. I was so excited to write my feelings that I left out the second "s" in "enthusiasm." 😂

[skysquid22]

Hey!!! 28. When I am dead

28. When I am dead

He always thought he’d be dead before Sonny. He always thought if worst did happen he’d get shot and maybe a tearful confession before he passed (or if his mind decided to be happier, he’d survive in the hospital where they could live a fulfilling life together.)

But no. That’s not how life turned out

He had so much promise. He’d passed the Bar, was going to take the Sergeants exam, Barba was proud of him even if his way of expressing it was teasing him endlessly. They had an usual friendship, some may not call it that, but it was to him and he wanted it to go further. 

Rafael idly wondered if Carisi ever thought of it that way. 

He’ll never know now.

Goddamn it. Why did it have to end this way? Why couldn’t he just listen to Carisi for once in his life and not get into a fight?

He’s not sure whats worse, the fact he was wrong and couldn’t say sorry or if he was right, what to say. 

It was just a simple argument in his office, both giving their opinions and views and Sonny decided to be the better man and give them both room to breath by leaving, “We’ll continue this later.” He frustratingly sighed. Barba’s retort was cut short by the door slam. 

Those were his last words. Carisi went on to grab a Uber and head back to the precinct. But some jackass ran a red light and completely destroyed both cars in the impact. 3 bodies came out of that bloodied crash, among them was Carisi.

He didn’t even find out until later, until he got a tearful call from Liv giving him the news. He quickly found out where she was to comfort her. He could cry later. Carisi’s family didn’t really know him outside of what Bella, Sonny’s sister, told them. So to them, he was just a face in the crowd. The SVU squad on the other hand was closer, Carisi ended up talking more about them and him. 

Talk didn’t go unnoticed by Bella though, during the wake she spoke to him briefly about how, “Sonny talked about you a lot. He says that you helped with law school a lot.” That’s all he got before she moved on to someone else. 

If only she knew that wasn’t true. He didn’t help at all, he’s no mentor. Barba let him shadow, once. That was all. 

And now there he was, a week after the funeral he was there laying down a bouquet of black roses on a fresh grave. He stood there for a bout an hour thinking of all his regrets and choices he didn’t make. It was getting dark, he had to leave soon. Shifting his umbrella so no one could see, he sobbed. The yard was empty, he had his privacy when he choked out an “I love you.” and fell to his knees on the wet grass. He’d get soaked in the light rain but he no longer cared.

I don’t write angst very often so I hope this filled your need. Thanks for sending this in!

[barisifictionarchive]

Title: What Happened Next

Author: Kaye_21

Rating: Not Rated

Word Count: 126,833

Chapters: 22/?

Tags: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr., Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr. & Amanda Rollins, Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr., Rafael Barba, Amanda Rollins, Olivia Benson, Odafin "Fin" Tutuola, Episode Tag, Fluff, Angst, Smut, Barisi unless otherwise noted

Summary: A collection of Carisi-centric episode tags for Seasons 17, 18 and 19 of Law & Order: SVU. Ongoing.

Comments: @oblivioncastro: An episode didn't fill your Barisi needs, you say? Well, you will be 100% satisfied once you read Kaye_21's episode tags. The writing/stories are brilliant!

[skysquid22]

3, 11, 12, and 12 for Winter Tides

3. What’s your favorite line of narration? 

The curtain finally closes, he walks off in a clear path to the door. It was like Moses parting the Red Sea. People just naturally avoided him, one guy almost spilled his beer on himself stopping before he got in his path. Barba didn’t even flinch.

Carisi watched his brown overcoat flow at the bottom, like some dramatic villain. And in a way he was that, Barba was famous for his cold and cruel demeanor. No one seemingly wanted to get close to him.

Except for Carisi. Who was willing to be in a relationship with him despite the facts.

It was such an odd thing. Barba thought of this as he walked out the door and into the light and deafeningly quiet snow.

11. What do you like best about this fic?

This fic is basically how I imagine it happening in canon (to some degree). I really liked how I wrote Barba in this, calm and understanding while still having some snark in him. Also internal monologue with Carisi question 3 has multiple answers.

12. What do you like least about this fic?

I liked the internal monologue I wrote for Carisi not his external monologue. I think I wrote his accent better, since I’m trying to work on that, but I feel I didn’t do very well writing him, y’know? And I know I just said I liked how I wrote Barba, which I do, but I think I wrote him ooc. 

Also you put 12 twice? 

[skysquid22]

happy birthday i love you ❤️ (also love the icon)

Ahhhhh Kayla I love you too!!!(And thank you. It’s Kieran’s work 😉)

[skysquid22]

HI SKY: ochre, teal, and shrek green

HI KAYLA

—

ochre: what 5 songs would you sing along to even on your deathbed?

1. Do I Wanna Know - Arctic Monkeys (Side note: They have a new album coming out soon!!)

2. Somebody To Love - Queen (or really any Queen song)

3. Sparks - Man Man (Again, or any other Man Man song really)

4. Colors - Grouplove 

5. All These Things I’ve Done - The Killers (I mean, how can you not?)

teal: what mythical creature would you want to be?

The standard, good answer. A dragon. Since I imagine it would be like a cat’s life, but with more fire and death.

shrek green: 3 of your favorite memes?

Of all time? I don’t know for sure. But, 1. Shrek. the classics, truly. 2. Hewwo..?? 3. I have no idea, I’ve forgotten every meme I’ve ever enjoyed I guess. So, uh, Ocean man edits? I guess???? That or Orchestra/Band memes. 

[barbaesparza]

Happy birthday, Bee! <3 <3 <3 I WOULD'VE said it at midnight (you out-happy birthday-ed me lol), but I forgot about those cool things called time zones, ANYWAY LOVE YOU.

Thank you, Kayla! Love you too 😘 They are fun, I am fine with celebrating through ‘til American midnight too 😄

[barbaesparza]

MERRY CHRISTMAS, BEE!!! <3 <3 <3

MERRY CHRISTMAS, KAYLA!Please tell me I didn’t really make you cry on Christmas morning?????Enjoy your Christmas you wonderful person! 🎁🎁🎁