#oh fai

[completeoveranalysis]

[22]

here it comes

~and also; spoilers up to chapter 170 of Tsubasa ~

UNO REVERSE CARD

I just LOVE that Fai wasn’t expecting this at all. 

He’s so happy in this moment that he’s opening up to Kurogane and noting how much everyone has grown - and in doing so revealing how much he cares about everyone here. 

And Kurogane just very casually points this out. That if Fai really has connected with everyone then he too has already changed as a person. He was disconnected at the start. He wasn’t HERE to like anyone. He never intended to do that at all. 

Because he CAN’T.

He’s not allowed to.

To enjoy this, to grow to love them, and change as a person is to betray his brother all over again.

It would be effectively killing his brother a second time.

It’s the one thing he can’t do.

But he’s already done it and he never noticed when it happened. 

BUT THIS IS WHEN IT CLICKS.

Until Kurogane mentions it he didn’t know. 

HE IS ALREADY FAILING HIS MISSION.

HE’S GROWN CLOSE TO THESE PEOPLE AND PUT HIS ENTIRE GOAL IN JEOPARDY.  

And how QUICKLY such a warm sentiment from Kurogane ends up pulling the entire rug out from beneath Fai all at once. Especially when he’s spent all of Piffle masquerading as a family with everyone - and the one moment where Kurogane actually somewhat confirms this as true is the one where Fai breaks.

Because we’d already seen this in action just a little earlier that day, when Fai compliments Syaoran.  

Fai’s already demonstrated that his family act is already a reality, and in turn he’s the only one joking about it. 

And in the same way that Syaoran couldn’t let Ryuou die and remain true to himself, Fai is already the same. He couldn’t not love these people and remain true to who he really is. 

And we see it in action moving forward too. First in Recourt, and then in Acid Tokyo - even though Fai can’t use magic without risking everything he’s built his entire life around, once his family is in danger he can’t stay true to himself and not try to save them. 

Fai at his core IS a loving and caring person, even though he doesn’t think he deserves to be, and he’s the last one to realise it.

[completeoveranalysis]

[3]

Ashura mentions his wish and, completely unsurprisingly, it seems like a Bad Thing (tm) that puts Fai on edge all over again. Fai really is having the worst collective day of his life - though that’s clearly debatable, considering we’ve seen exactly what his life has been like so far. 

Meanwhile more flashbacks! Young Fai vs. an avalanche maybe?

NOW THIS IS WHAT I LIKE TO SEE. Fai being given the space to use his powers for something GOOD and PROTECTIVE that will save people’s lives. 

This is a narrative I’d really want to see more of, though I’m not sure how much it would amount to considering where he ends up in the end. Still, after the terrible life he’s been given because of his powers, seeing Fai have the opportunity to reclaim his powers and use them for good things in defiance of everything his homeland set him up for is exactly what I want for him. 

OOP and here we get the fastforward explanation of what Chii’s purpose was - not just to preserve his twin’s body, but to hang around and watch over him and... I guess give him some company? Which seems a bit lonely and one sided as far as Chii’s concerned, but maybe she doesn’t mind so much? Inconclusive. Let’s just assume it’s sweet for now. 

The bit I LOVE is that, even as a child, he has moments of wondering about the future. He seems hopeful for a moment, considering what kind of people they might actually be, before reality comes crashing down and he reminds himself that it doesn’t matter. How can it? He’s not supposed to exist, so he doesn’t need to connect with them in any way. 

It’s such a good and juicy contrast to where he ends up down the line, where he tries his best not to care about them for the same reasons and fails so spectacularly. 

[completeoveranalysis]

[11]

YUUKO AVOIDS ANSWERING MOKONA. 

THAT MEANS YES, ABSOLUTELY. 

ALSO?

I SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING YUUKO. 

By “not simply receive vampire blood” and “the burden of responsibility for his life” I THINK SHE MEANS

FAI WILL 

HAVE TO 

DRINK HIS BLOOD TOO

Also probably the actual responsibility too, but THE KINKY VAMPIRE FANFIC THING IS COMING FOR ME AND I HAVE NO-ONE TO BLAME FOR MYSELF. 

Onnnnnnnnnnn a side note:

Fai thinks that him dying is the best outcome for all of these people. 

Fai thinks that Kurogane hates him a lot of the time. 

Fai probably does not expect Kurogane to fight so hard to keep him alive. 

Fai definitely does not expect Kurogane will WILLINGLY take this continuous burden to keep him around. 

I really hope that, when Fai wakes up again, this is a clue that will help him understand just how much Kurogane wants him in his life. 

BECAUSE AFTER THIS IT’S A LITTLE HARD TO DENY JUST HOW MUCH LOVE IS IN THIS Y/Y?

[shadow-king-club]

Kyouya's birthday....(close rp for kuro)

"Oh this will be lovely" fai was clapping as he thrown open the door and showed an entire room decorated for the celebration.  "Now now where is Kuro?" the mage asked as he glanced around the room.