things you said that i wish you hadnt
“I’m lookin’ for my brother,” said Olmara, wringing her hands. “It’s been a few months, an’ I been findin’ that FCON ain’t exactly the most organized bunch.”
Thalril watched her hands, only mildly interested in what she had to say. He’d never seen her like this before, so clearly worried about... something or other. Oh, right, her brother. He wasn’t really paying attention; he almost never did when she was talking.
“All the people I’ve been talkin’ to ain’t heard of him. I mean, it’s like he... like he just plum vanished! I jus’- I dunno what t’do, Thalril.” She hung her head, becoming blessedly quiet.
It was rather interesting to him so see Olmara so distraught. She was typically chipper to a fantastically irritating degree, and he rather enjoyed her occasional silences. But still, the reason she was so upset was because of a family member... Thalril couldn’t help but sympathize.
“Perhaps he adopted a psuedonym,” he said, shrugging. “Or perhaps he has been stationed a sizable space from Thayd. Who can say? There is no reason to fret when you do not yet know the truth.”
A sigh shuddered in her throat as Olmara shrugged. “I... I guess. Still, I just don’t have a good feelin’ about it.”
“Well, of course, he could be dead. Murdered by the vile Dominion. A distressingly common outcome.”
“Wh-wha?” Olmara looked up at him like Thalril had just shot a little of baby vind and then laughed about it. “Th’heck are you sayin’, Thalril?”
He shrugged, marveling at the speed with which her features changed. “I’m merely stating one of the possible outcomes. It is very possible your brother could be dead, Olmara.”
“I-I know that!” she said, rising to her feet. “But you just said there wasn’t no reason t’worry about it!”
“So why’d ya bring it up?”
“Because it is possible.”
An exaggerated gasp escaped Olmara’s lips as she stood up. “That don’t mean y’need t’bring it up! I got enough on my mind without thinkin’... stuff like that!”
“You cannot escape the grim reality of this war, Olmara. Only when you accept this possible outcome will you be free to continue.”
“Why? What if it turns out he ain’t? Why would I wanna get myself all bothered over nothin’?” she said, throwing her hands in the air.
She just didn’t understand it like he did, thought Thalril. A Mordesh couldn’t escape death, they practically were dead already. The sooner you accepted it, the better. “It may not be nothing.”
“Dammit, Thalril, it don’t... It don’t matter! Now you’re just makin’ me worry for no good reason! An’ don’t tell me ‘oh but there might be a good reason,’ neither!” There was a strain in Olmara’s voice, a threat of cracks in her emotional dam. “Just ‘cuz- just ‘cuz you lost someone, it don’t mean I gotta lose someone too!”
How dare she. “Fine. If you won’t be rational, then I am leaving. I will not stand around and be insulted by someone like you.”
As he turned, he could hear her footsteps in the grass behind her, trailing after him like a loyal dog that he’d just struck. Deplorable. “Thalril, I didn’t mean it like that, I’m sorry. I just don’t deal with losin’ stuff very well, so I kinda-”
“I don’t care, Olmara. We have all lost things in this war, and you must be prepared to do the same,” he said, not looking back at her. “Whether or not you deal with it well is irrelevant. It will happen.”
“I can’t lose him!” she shouted, tears welling in her eyes. “I already lost mom, I can’t lose him, too! If I do, what am I s’posed to tell dad?”
“Tell him the truth. I don’t understand you humans and your desire to cling onto your mortality; you spend such stretches stressing over your short lifespans that you scarcely live at all.”
“You can’t expect us t’be the same as you! We ain’t Mordesh! Stop tryin’ to make me see things your way, okay? I’m sorry for what happened t’you but we’ ain’t the same person!”
Thalril stopped by the exit, finally turning to face Olmara again. “You know, Olmara, I’m actually fascinated,” he said, leaning down over her. “I had already thought you irritable before, but now I find I can stand you even less.” And then he was gone before she could speak, leaving Olmara nothing but hurt feelings and tears streaming from her eyes.
