anyway one common critique you'll get surrounding femdom especially re: the whole femdom as feminist praxis thing is that it actually cuts women out from being fully fleshed out characters or having narratives that center on their experiences, and this is fair because a lot of traditional femdom stuff DOES use women as objectified props geared towards male desires despite placing them in superficially dominant positions. but it's also funny because, at least for me, femdom provides so many more unique opportunities for writing about kink from the woman's perspective
like... I think the only really interesting, specifically gendered conflict I've seen explored with femsub is variations on 'feeling like a bad feminist or as complicit in her own oppression because of her interest in kink.' and thats fine! it resonates with the real experiences of many women, and that's important. but it also does absolutely nothing for me, at least in the ways it's usually written
but when the woman is treated as an actual agent with her own desires and motivations femdom offers an opportunity to play with the effects of how real dominance and control are systemically denied to women and even incompatible with the expectations of their larger social role. it's part of the reason I don't just gravitate towards female tops but specifically hyperfeminine female tops (the other part is that I'm gay and find scary femmes extremely hot); their identity is specifically tied up in performing a role usually heavily associated with if not entirely contingent upon sexual submission to men, meaning they've either redefined stereotypical femininity in a way that puts them in a position of power over others *or* their most natural inclinations are in tension with the ideal through which they measure their value. and there is so much that can be done with that!
