Request: Anon- "Why should we date?" "Because we are attracted to each other." "I am attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie."
Word Count: 428
Author: Charlotte
“Maybe we could go out on a date?” You offered.
“I don’t know,” Emily sighed.
You and Emily had been friends for years and you liked her more than you should have liked a friend. However, you were pretty certain that she felt the same, but neither of you had ever taken the step to move the relationship from anything but platonic. It took all of your courage to ask her on a date, to try and see if something romantic could work between you, and to hear anything but a yes made your heart sink. Of course, you wouldn’t hate her for saying no, you wanted her to be happy and if that meant not with you, then you would live with that, but you couldn’t deny that you wanted her to say yes and to live happily ever after.
“What do you mean?” You asked.
You didn’t know how to take her answer. If she asked for time to think, that’d make sense, but simply saying she didn’t know frankly left you confused.
“I don’t want to put you in danger with A,” she said honestly. “As friends, you are less of a target but if they knew what you meant to me, then they might do something drastic.”
A smile crept upon your face at her saying that you meant a lot to her. Nevertheless, you didn’t care about the danger, all you wanted was her.
“Don’t let A get in the way of your happiness. Anyway, wouldn’t we be stronger as a pair?” You said playfully.
She shook her head. “Why should we date? We might not even work out well together, it might just put you in danger for no reason.”
“Because we’re attracted to each other, Em. We both feel something here, it would suck if we never got to see if it was something,” you offered as a response.
“I’m attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie,” she said quizzically, not certain what she had said or what it meant fully as she rambled her point.
You rolled your eyes at her, gently taking her hand so that she could pull away if she wanted to- she didn’t.
“I really like you Emily, one date won’t hurt. And even if A got involved, they’d likely get involved just because we are friends,” you said softly. “Just one date. That is all I ask.”
Emily paused for a moment, letting herself think. She sighed with a fond smile on her face.
i wanna go on another date with this one girl because she is so fucking funny and fun to be around and we agree on all this political shit and she REALLY hypes me up like i wore leggings the other day after school and she screamed and said “that’s MY fuckin girlfriend! don’t come for HER!” and like... midterms are next week but i really wanna hang out again this weekend
I’m (F/23) overwhelmed with (M/22) partner’s anxious attachment
I (F/23) have been seeing someone (M/22) for about two months. He’s anxiously attached and needs a lot of reassurance and emotional support. I feel like I can’t be fully honest with him without it turning into a huge emotional spiral.
Yesterday I tried to tell him that sometimes I’m unsure about our compatibility because we have different needs and attachment styles. I started crying because he said I keep giving him mixed signals. Then he asked if I actually wanted to keep seeing him. I said I don’t know and asked if he even wanted to see me, he said yes. After that, he started crying and said it wasn’t fair that I could like him but also question if I wanted to continue seeing him. I told him both feelings can exist at the same time, but then he compared me to his sister, who abandoned him, and kept saying that in relationships you fight and don’t just throw in the towel, he felt like that’s what I was doing.
We’ve only been talking for two months and went on our first date just over a month ago. I don’t think this dynamic is healthy, and I’m not sure what to do. I’m worried that if I break things off, he won’t be able to handle it because he’s so dependent on me.
He’s asking for an answer right away, and I’m just overwhelmed. I’d really appreciate advice on how to navigate early relationships with someone anxious and dependent while still being honest and respecting my own boundaries. How do you handle these kinds of conversations when you’re not ready to give a clear answer?
You've been on ONE date!?!? Holy shit. He needs intensive therapy. He is NOT capable of a relationship right now. Get yourself out of there. One date - he can absolutely live without you, regardless of how he's guilting and manipulating you. Holy cow, this is overwhelming.
