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Virtual meetings: digital age of business

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[sethmurfie-blog]

CHICKEN DANCE REVELRY

OMEGLE IS A FANTASTIC WEBSITE OH JIMINY THE INCREDIBLE TOPICS YOU CAN PUT IN THE MUTUAL-INTERESTS-FIELD SO I’M UP LATE LAST NIGHT IT’S LIKE 7:00 A.M. AND I’VE GOT NO CLOTHES ON AND I’VE PUT BOWLING, BOWLBAGGING, AND GRANDMA IN THE INTERESTS FIELD ALONG WITH EIGHTY-NINE OTHER TOPICS OF SORTED VARIETIES,

BUT ONLY GRANDMA AND DRINK A DINK COMES UP CONSISTENTLY AND IT’S ALL FUCKWADS ANYWAY, EVERY STRANGER I MEET ON THERE FREAKS OUT WHEN I SAY HELLO AND IMMEDIATELY SEND THEM LINKS OF FRED FLINTSTONE WITH TWO BOWLING BALLS DANGLING OUT OF HIS TESTICLES ALTHOUGH ONE OF THE BALLS HAS THE FACE OF BAM-BAM AND THE FACE IS KIND OF DOING A LITTLE WINK LIKE HEY HE’S IN ON THE KNOW SO I START TO WONDER WHY YOU WOULD EVEN PUT GRANDMA IN THE MUTUAL-INTERESTS-FIELD IF BOWLING IS NOT UP YOUR FUCKING ALLEY GOD I’D RATHER IT BE UP YOUR FUCKING ASS SO I SAY THAT AND SAY DO YOU WANT ME TO SHOVE MY LITTLE BROTHER’S DOG RIGHT UP YOUR FUCKING ASS IT HASN’T EATEN IN WEEKS AND IT’S STARVING, WHEN THE STRANGER’S LIKE

seth, is that you? lol you loser what r u doing on omegle it’s morning

AND I’M LIKE CALEB YOU LITTLE SHITSICLE AND I BEGIN HOWLING OUT THE WINDOW IN AN EXPRESSION OF UTTER AGONY AS MY EARS CAN HEAR THAT TINY DICKLEDICK GIGGLING FROM DOWNSTAIRS IN HIS MASTERFUL SHRINE OH YES IT’S WORTH MENTIONING TO YOU NOW THAT IF YOU COME TO MY HOUSE YOU’LL HAVE TO WALK BY THE CANDLE-LIT SHRINE THAT CALEB HAS SET UP IN THE LIVING ROOM SO IT’S THE FIRST FUCKING THING YOU SEE IT’S LIKE A COUCH WELL REALLY IT’S OUR COUCH BUT HE’S COVERED IT IN FUCKING DAFFODILS OR SOMETHING AND REPEATEDLY PRAYS TO THE GOD OF DOGS IT’S JUST HIS BULLSHIT WAY OF TRYING TO SCARE ME,

SO ANYWAY I KEEP TALKING TO STRANGERS WHO ARE NOT CALEB ON OMEGLE AND EVENTUALLY MEET THIS OTHER PERSON WHO’S COMMON INTERESTS WITH ME ARE GRANDMA AND BOWLING AND WE TALK FOR AWHILE,

HE/SHE TELLS ME ABOUT HOW THEIR GRANDMA TOOK THEM BOWLING AS A KID AND I TELL THEM ABOUT HOW THIS ONE TIME MY GRANDMA SHOWED ME HOW TO DO ANCIENT ANIMALISTIC CALLIGRAPHY ON A BOWLING PIN AND THIS OTHER TIME WHEN I WAS TEN MY GRANDMA BOUGHT ME A SMALL BOWLING BALL KEYCHAIN AND THEN AS A SURPRISE ONE MORNING HUNG IT UP ON MY CEILING FAN AND I ACTUALLY STARED AT IT FOR HOURS LAYING IN BED AS IT SPUN AROUND AND AROUND AND I WAS GENUINELY MESMERIZED AND TOUCHED THAT SHE WOULD DO THAT BUT ALSO THERE WAS ANOTHER TIME WHERE SHE TOOK ME OUT FOR A SODA AT THE BOWLING ALLEY AND AT THAT THE STRANGER ON OMEGLE LIKE CONFESSES THAT THEIR GRANDMA HAS PASSED AWAY AND I TELL THEM SAME

AND WE’RE STARTING TO GET INTO IT BUT BEFORE I CAN MY MOM COMES KNOCKING ON THE DOOR SHOUTING SOME FIRST RATE MALT BALLS X-RATED CONTENT RELATING TO HOW I NEED TO GET DRESSED IT’S 12:30 IN THE AFTERNOON AND SHE OPENS THE DOOR AND IS LIKE COME ON SETH IT’S PAST NOON THERE’S ORANGE PEELS COVERING YOUR CHEST AND TESTICLES AND AT THAT I TELL HER IT’LL BE A MINUTE AND SHE SAYS SOME BLAH BLAH BLAH ABOUT STOP TALKING TO THE CEILING FAN WHEN YOU WANT TO ADDRESS ME, YOUNG MAN, SO I GET UP AND DRAMATICALLY PUT ON SOME SPONGEBOB PAJAMAS AND THEN WALK PAST MY BROTHER’S SHRINE AND OUT INTO MY CAR SO I CAN GO TO THE STORE AND THEN GO THE WASTE TREATMENT PLANT AND MAYBE FINALLY HAVE A STEAM BATH OF A CERTAIN KIND, BUT AS I’M DRIVING ON THE RADIO I HEAR THIS SONG CALLED “THE CHICKEN DANCE”

AND I START LOSING MY MIND AND STICKING MY SWEATY ARMS OUT THE WINDOW SCREAMING IN PLEASURE AT THIS FUCKING SONG IT IS OFF THE WALL IF YOU HAVEN’T HEARD IT CONGRATULATIONS YOU ARE THE EPITOME OF FOOLDOM HERE’S YOUR DIPLOMA GO TO GRADUATE SCHOOL OH OKAY STUDY RETARDONOMICS WHILE YOU’RE AT IT BUT YEAH ANYWAY WHEN YOU HAVE TIME MAYBE CHECK OUT OMEGLE BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY FUCKWIT CHECK OUT THE “CHICKEN DANCE” SONG IT’S OUTRAGEOUSLY DELICIOUS.

-LOVE SETH MURFIE

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