#only mostly devastated

[judeverse]

It's funny how you can spend weeks, or months, or sometimes even years preparing yourself for a nightmare that's more "when" than "if". Then just when you're fooling yourself that you've accepted the world's end, and you'll roll with the impact when it hits... suddenly, it might be hitting, and you're not rolling. You're collapsing, sitting where you stood, totally overwhelmed by a loss you were never really ready for.

[judeverse]

I had a sudden flashback to an evening at the lake. I didn't remember exactly when, or what we'd done that day. Only the sunset casting a lavender glow over the water, and dragonflies zipping past my head while I stood on the edge of the jetty. And Will had been treading water, his head and shoulders sticking out of the lake. Only in my memory he was smiling. In real life, right here and now, he looked apprehensive. Like he was worried I was going to hurt him. If the truth was a weapon, then maybe I was.

[judeverse]

This was the first time anything to do with us felt calm and rational. There was no impulsivity in this moment, or thrill of being discovered, or the passion and lust of discovering someone. It was just us. Two people who weren't strangers anymore, and who were now well versed on all the things that could stop them from working out, and who'd maybe figured out a way to fit together anyway.

[s4pphirestar]

I have to talk about this because I cannot stand ignoring the thought any longer. "Only Mostly Devastated" by Sophie Gonzalez is practically the (very elaborate) novel version of "In A Heartbeat", the short film by Beth David and Esteban Bravo. Almost everything about it fits perfectly, from the storyline to the characters' appearances. I don't know if this is, like, common knowledge and I'm basically just stating the obvious, but for some reason I've never seen this idea before.

[bookshelvesandtealeaves]

✨ BOOK REVIEW ✨

Only Mostly Devastated by Sophie Gonzales

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

QOTD: What are your last, now and/or next reads?

[instagram]

I really enjoyed this one. I love that I can see how much Sophie Gonzales has grown as an author from when she wrote this. It’s a still a great debut, but she’s come so far.

I adored the Grease vibes in this. I honestly need more queer versions of my old faves because this was great. It’s very much its own story, too. Will acting like a jerk makes way more sense than Danny ever did. I love that no one really “changed” for each other, either. They met each other halfway, in the end.

I loved the friendships in this so much. Ollie and Lara in particular were so much fun. The progression of their friendship made me so happy.

This book also deals with death of a family member to cancer, and it doesn’t shy away from being heavy. I genuinely teared up multiple times reading this. It was so well done.

[plantdad-dante]

Book #176 - Only Mostly Devastated by Sophie Gonzales

(second time read; I just wanted something nice and dependable again for a change)

Idk, sometimes you just want to fry your brain with a bit of gay teen romance, like the bookworm equivalent of watching a rom-com on a rainy day. Didn't even need to be particularly fluffy, which this one wasn't, for me to have a blast.

The miscommunication, or rather the refusal to communicate, period, got a little frustrating, even distressing at times (especially when Ollie would be all like "I won't tell you bc I want you to figure it out yourself", like- ugh, dude, just talk). And while, in the beginning, I kinda thought that both of them were being self-centered idiots for no reason (in a way that I couldn't be sure the book was fully aware of), it was cool, in the end, to see them a) untangle the emotional reasoning behind their actions, and b) fucking grow out of it and finally talk. I wanna believe that Ollie and Will are now that kind of couple that's infuriatingly good at talking things out and it kinda pisses off everyone else. That's my headcanon for them. That'd be so fucking funny.

Like, I just really like the reconciliation scene in the music room, okay? I like the part were they talk about their feelings openly and then proceed to grow closer again in that lower-stakes kinda way, while Ollie slowly deals with his unrelated grief.

Btw, I did remember the aunt's story as this very impactful gut punch, and uh... yeah. Yeah, it's still fucking brutal. The whole thing hangs over Ollie like the Sword of Damocles for the entire story and then... yeah, don't know what I'm supposed to say, it's just really fucking sad.

On the lighter side of things, I also enjoyed the friends' sideplots, especially prickly Lara (+ Ollie just being this instinctively compassionate towards her regardless of her jibes), and Juliette's non-romance. Remember, you don't need to be aro and/or ace to defy amatonormativity! Like, it is completely reasonable and cool to headcanon her that way, but I also like the thought of her not being on the ace-spectrum and just... not being interested in romance at the moment. She's valid either way, and thats nice.

[itisyoursecretcrush]

[bookcoversonly]

Title: Only Mostly Devastated | Author: Sophie Gonzales | Publisher: Wednesday Books (2020)