#onlyhatredleft

[silver-apple]

Shaved head

I am inabable of doing something wit tis so 

[silver-apple]

"We can’t do this anymore."

"You said that last time," she interpolated with a start. "And yet," she laid the waterlily down in his pond, and it undulated gently towards him, "you have not drowned me. In fact, it seems like you’re almost afraid to." She did not wait to see if she was wrong.

[silver-apple]

1984. I'm curious.

[meme] In a totalitarian society where love is illegal, our characters have fallen head first into it with one another. Send “1984” for my character’s last thoughts and words to yours as the police break down the door to take them away for rehabilitation by torture.

"Please, listen to me," she whimpered as she cracked her knuckles anxiously, "Your heart is unbreakable." Her fingers gingerly jumped to cradle his cheeks as she heard the neighbor’s apartment door shatter. "You are so strong. You were strong enough to fall in love, and you’ll be strong enough to not fall out of love—even though you might want to forget.”

A woman screamed and May could hear the thumping of a rod against her skull. 

Her voice fell into a trembling whisper, “No matter what they do to you, they can’t take away your soul unless you give it to them.” 

She took his hands as she felt the collar of dress being pulled on. 

“Don’t give it to them!” 

[sagelysoldier]

Celeacris

Headcanon: Girbius has a great deal of respect for Celeacris, though he does think she’s a bit of a hothead.  He knows it has value, though; she is never unfair about it, and it inspires respect among the recruits. 

[silence-and-slumber-archive]

When All Is Said And Done *Wendy and Itzal Modern Drabble*

The ceremony had been everything she dreamed of. The venue looked just as beautiful as she was promised it would by her friends. The dress fit just right, despite her fears it wouldn’t. And the look on Alex’s face as she walked toward him… His jaw dropped, and a hand reached up to cover his gaping mouth for just a moment before he beamed at her with tears and deep, passionate love in his eyes. The sight would stay with Wendy the rest of her life. Yes, it had been a dream come true, even with the much felt absences of her father, mother, brother, and sister.

Now it was time to make another’s dream come true. To try, anyway. This was the part that Wendy feared even more than reciting her own hand-written vows. Perhaps, this part was more important to her than the entire ceremony. She would have plenty of opportunities to make it up to her husband for anything that she messed up today. This was, however, her last chance to make one of her dearest and most cherished friends proud. And if she disappointed him now, Wendy would never forgive herself.

She had been a little nervous asking Itzal to give her away. She’d stumbled over her words, feeling as if she made a fool of herself and hurt him more than he already had been. But now, here they were. Two lonely and damaged souls, the only ones left in their families, trying to give each other a gift that had been cruelly denied them by chance.

Wendy knew that traditionally, the bride and groom shared the first dance at the reception. But she had insisted on the first dance being the “Father-Daughter” dance. She knew Zal would be scared, his leg causing him to distress about making a fool of them both. That was part of the reason she wanted it this way. The tender-hearted young woman couldn’t bear the thought of causing her friend such embarrassment. It would be easier for her best friend to dance with her and then return to his seat. If he had to watch Alex waltz her across the stage, Itzal would be too ashamed of himself; too bashful and afraid to dance with her because he couldn’t do it like her husband could. But, to Wendy, it was more than that. She’d have the rest of her life with Alex. There would be plenty of waltzes. This… This was Wendy’s final chance to enjoy a brief moment with Itzal before another man came to take her away. Zal had lost his wife, his son, and his daughter. He’d never be able to give Esti away, watch Danel dance with his mother, or celebrate all the anniversaries with Nere that she might with her new husband. He’d lost everything he’d held dear, just like she had. And now, he was losing her too. They would still be friends. Of course they would! Forever! But the times for constant company and adventures to places near and far had come to an end. She was ending it, and breaking his heart in the process. Yes, it was for Itzal, for Daddy, and for Esti that Wendy broke this tradition.

Looking out from the long table, she saw the faces of their guests, seated at all of their little places, carefully laid out. Emeth, Ivy, Danny and Aami waved from their table next to Susan, Edmund, their parents, and Eustace. Also in the crowd, she knew, were Luca, Peter, Tim, and the dates and family of the rest of the wedding party. Then turning her gaze down both sides of the table, Wendy beamed. Alex’s empty chair sat beside her, where he’d be until death did them part. There were Aldara, Alyssa, Lucy, Liz, Rose, and Louise to her left. On what would be Alex’s right sat his best man and all of his groomsmen. Since the bride and groom were both orphans, there were no parents congratulating their son and daughter. But there, right between Wendy and Aldara was her beloved Itzal, looking almost green.

Wendy knew that Uncle Frank must have been hurt when she didn’t ask him to give her away and have this dance with her. He was family, after all, and had taken her in without hesitation after her family died. She had tried to explain herself to Rose and Aunt Helen, but felt she failed. They must have talked to him, though, for in the end, Uncle Frank told her “Wendy, dear, it’s your day. The choice is yours. As long as you’re happy, you can have whoever you want give you away.” She still felt guilty for hurting her Uncle, but he had Rose, Louise, and Stella. Uncle Frank would have plenty of chances to walk a beloved girl down the aisle. This simply was something she had to do. She owed it to Itzal after all he’d done for her.

A hand closed on her shoulder gently, chasing away her thoughts like a leaf on the wind. “Wen,” Alex whispered in her ear after kissing her temple. “It’s time. The DJ is just about ready for you.” She nodded and he pulled her chair out. As Wendy stood, everyone suddenly fell silent and locked their gazes on her. The same as when she walked down the aisle, she felt like she was going to be sick from all the attention on her. Blushing furiously, she touched her friend’s hand.

A few moments later, Wendy and Itzal were making their way to the stage. The lights went out before a soft white spotlight found them, only intensifying and sweetly complementing all the candles and lanterns in the room. Hesitantly, the two friends prepared themselves. Wendy lifted her train and skirt up slightly so she wouldn’t step on them, and Itzal took her hand before laying the other on her waist.

“Are you nervous?”

“A little.”

Zal turned his face into his right shoulder, and Wendy could hear a tense laugh pass his lips. She couldn’t deny the fluttering in her own heart as they waited to begin the dance. Though he’d asked many times, Wen never told him what song they’d be dancing to. She wanted it to be a surprise. It hadn’t taken long to figure out what song she would share with him. In fact, she’d known it almost from the minute she decided to ask him to stand in for her father. It described perfectly how she saw and felt for him. She wanted to see his reaction first hand; holding her for the last time before relinquishing her to Alex, knowing all he meant to her.

“It’s ok. Relax.” She whispered softly to him.

“Trying to.”

She was sure it looked quite comical to everyone else. Zal was 6’3”. Wendy herself was a full foot shorter. Glad she’d worn heels instead of flats, she found it a little easier to reach his shoulder. A sweet smile on her lips, she squeezed his hand as the music began.

“Well, here goes nothing.”

“Yeah.”

The piano ringing out over the speakers indicated the start of the song, and they began to step together to the slow beat. The dance was not perfect, but Wendy couldn’t care less. It wasn’t the moves, or Zal’s leg messing him up that she cared about. It was the fact that he was there with her, giving her an unimaginable gift. That, more than anything, was what made the day perfect. “I’m terrified.” Zal whispered, staring at the floor.

Wendy’s brow furrowed worriedly. “Why?” She asked gently.

“I’m… I’ll mess everything up.”

“No…” Wendy told him with conviction. Her tone drew his gaze back up to her own. “Never. This day would be nothing without you. Just listen. Please, for me.”

When the waves are crashing down Pulling you to sorrow I will sail you back to shore When there are no more heroes

Biting her lip slightly, Wendy peeked up at him from under her eyelashes. What if he didn’t like her song? But more importantly, what if it caused Zal pain? After everything he’d done for her, that was the very last thing Wen wanted. All she ever wished for was to make things easier for him; to take his grief away if she could, even for a little while, not be the cause of it.

Over, under, near or far I’ll be right beside you Standing here with open arms When there are no more heroes

And through it all And through it all When you’re tired and you stumble I will carry you

After a few moments, the young bride was confident enough to stare up at her friend fully. Her eyes, eager to see the understanding dawn in his, never left his face. Was that the beginning of tears she saw? Or a trick of the spotlight, which had split from one to many, spinning around the room like little dim suns? As the music progressed, Wendy’s mind was filled with memories.

When starlight falls My love will guide you home You’ll never be alone When there are no more heroes

That terrible night… It had begun so sweetly, so normally. The entire family had joined the audience at Wendy’s school to watch the opening night of the annual musical. They were performing The Sound Of Music, and Wendy had been granted the role of Maria Rainer. When the curtain lifted, the young girl was nervous, but felt much better knowing that her family was there to support her.

It was you who showed me how Brought me back to glory Through hopelessness and darkest days It was breath you gave me

The play had gone off without a hitch, and the entire cast and crew had received a standing ovation, though the loudest went to Wendy and the boy who played her “husband” Captain Georg Von Trapp. As was tradition after any of the childrens’ school functions, the family planned to go out and celebrate. But mingling with the director and members of the audience along with typical New York City traffic had delayed their departure. By the time they arrived at their favorite spot, the family found it closed. Iraina was disappointed, but Wendy didn’t mind, being rather tired at the time. She just wanted to go home and sleep. Little did they know what awaited them at the house.

And through it all And through it all When you’re tired and you stumble I will carry you

It all happened so fast. One second, they were stepping through the door, Wendy and Iraina singing The Lonely Goatherd to tease Tristan, their mother and father laughing at the three of them, the next all hell broke loose. The group of men, surprised by their return, attacked. A simple home invasion and burglary had gone so very wrong. Daddy had tried to protect them all, and when he’d fallen, Mommy told Wendy to take Tristan and Iraina and run. She tried to get the kids out, but all their escape routes were blocked by men in ski masks. Wendy fought desperately to protect her younger siblings, but the pain of the injuries she sustained in the struggle finally forced her body to the ground. Screaming at Tristan to take Iraina and hide, the eldest felt her strength fading. Try as she might to get to her siblings, to save them, her brother and sister’s screams were the last things she heard before her world went black. When she finally woke up, she was in the hospital hooked up to all kinds of machines. Uncle Frank, Aunt Helen, and a policeman who introduced himself as Danny were surrounding her. They explained to her that her entire family had perished, the culprits had gotten away, and they even believed her to be dead until Danny’s partner looked closer and realized she barely clung to life.

When starlight falls My love will guide you home You’ll never be alone When there are no more heroes

For the longest time after, Wendy refused to speak or sing. Traumatized by what she had been through, and consumed by guilt, she barely made eye contact. There were times she didn’t leave her room for days, drowning in sorrow. She was a shadow of her former self. She wouldn’t spend time with her friends from school and stopped attending her beloved extracurriculars. Not even the only family she had left could reach her. Wendy wanted to, felt like she deserved to, die. She had failed them, she failed them and now they were gone. Frank and Helen had taken their niece in, despite having five children of their own, and tried their best with her to no avail. Wendy wouldn’t accept their help. She didn’t deserve it. Nightmares kept her constant company. Times were dark for so long, and it wasn’t just Wendy who suffered.

And through it all And through it all When you’re tired and you stumble I will carry you

She could remember the first time Itzal approached her after it happened. She was in the market, buying her own groceries to make things easier on her aunt and uncle, who didn’t follow the vegan and organic filled diet that her parents had raised their family on. He didn’t apologize like everyone else. He didn’t try to get her to talk about it. He simply accepted her silence, and gave her cheek a sympathetic pat before walking away, pressing a single Carnation into her hand. No words were exchanged, but Wendy knew in her heart, perhaps even then, that that very moment was a turning point. In due time, she opened up to him. They opened up to each other about what had happened to them. When she had nightmares at three in the morning, it was Itzal who was called, not her family. Itzal never once turned her away. He was always there when she needed him, knowing just what to do or say to help her.

When starlight falls My love will guide you home You’ll never be alone You’ll never be alone

It had been a hard road and taken quite some time, but Wendy eventually found time could mean adjusting and becoming almost like herself again. She never would again be that innocent and carefree child who had her shining moment in the light. She still had nightmares, and refused to be home or out in public alone. The men guilty of killing her family had never been caught, despite Danny and Emeth’s best efforts. And though she didn’t blame them in the least, she was still petrified they’d find her and come back to do what they hadn’t. Sometimes, she supposed, things just happened that way. She knew Danny and Emeth loved her and that they tried their hardest. There was nothing to be done about that; it was simply out of their hands. Nonetheless, when the time came for Wendy to venture out on her own, Zal was there every step. He helped her find the loft, get furniture and decorations, and helped her, Aldara, Alex, and Alyssa move Wen in. He’d even suggested getting a dog to protect her, and taken Wendy to the shelter and helped her pick out Bandit. The first few nights, he stayed in the loft with her, waiting up all night in case she needed him. Had Wendy ever truly thanked him for that?

And through it all (And through it all) And through it all (And through it all) When you’re tired and you stumble I will carry you (I will carry you)

Throughout their time together, Wendy and Itzal had come to depend on and support each other. The holes in their hearts had by no means been filled, yet they were learning how to live with the emptiness together. The two friends shared many adventures, ones engrained in Wendy’s mind forever. How many trips had they taken to markets and art shows together? Hundreds, thousands? Walks in Central Park… Occasional Broadway shows… They’d gone to Yellowstone once. Wendy had run through the fields barefoot, with her dress and curls dancing in the wind. Every wonderful memory, every happy day after that great tragedy, Itzal was there.

As they moved together, tears fell down the girl’s cheeks. Zal’s face told it all. He’d done as she asked and prayed close attention to the words. Still, she hoped that the man she card so deeply for knew that this song was an exact description not only of how she felt for him and what she’d do for him, but what he’d done for her. Wendy was so damaged and broken after the night her family was murdered. Itzal too, after the deaths of his family, had felt the same thing. They’d known each other for years, and had been so close. If not for Zal’s strength and example in dealing with his loss, Wendy never would have been able to cope with hers. His love had guided her home. He had carried her when she stumbled. He’d been there for her through it all. She’d found solace in her friends and remaining family, but it was truly Itzal who got her back to semblance of normalcy. As long as she had him, she was never alone. He’d been a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, a warm and safe embrace when darkness threatened to suffocate her.

When starlight falls My love will guide you home You’ll never be alone When there are no more heroes When there are no more heroes

Placing her hand tenderly on his cheek as the music ended, she clung tightly to him for a long moment before pulling away. They had been through so much together, good and bad. But every minute of it was a journey well worth all the pain. Tears from her cheeks brushed his own as she stood as high on her toes as possible. “Thank you, Itzal. I love you.” Wendy whispered as she kissed his cheek. Alex came up for his dance with his new bride, and as one man Wendy lived more than life itself handed her off to the other, she looked over her shoulder at him returning to his seat. Itzal, her dear dear friend. She’d always love him, always be there for him. That would never change. He’d always be her hero.

[silence-and-slumber-archive]

Friends, But So Much More *Wendy and Itzal A Modern AU Drabble*

The door closing behind her, the girl straightened out her curls and clothes before stepping into the restaurant. “Hey, Wendy.” The hostess greeted.

“Hi, Jessica. How are you today?” The brunette answered.

“Girl, you have got to get a life outside this place. Even on your days off, you’re here.” Jessica answered.

Throwing her friend a face, Wendy laughed. “Is he here?”

“Yeah, he’s waiting.” The other girl said, gesturing over her shoulder. “You know, Wendy, it’s not like coming in *all the time* will help with employee of the month! Like any of us could compare to you anyway!”

“Oh, Jess!” Wendy cried as she hurried by. “It’s ok, I know you’re just jealous!” It was true. Wendy spent more time at the Zen Palate than she did in her little loft. Whether she was working as a waitress, cooking in the kitchen when needed, or coming in to eat, her life surely did seem to revolve around the restaurant.

She rushed back to the table and giggled as she saw her dear friend. “Zal!” Running up to him, the girl wrapped her arms around the man.

“Oof!” Itzal gasped. “Wendy, air. Need to breathe.”

Releasing him, Wendy giggled and sat down across from him. “Sorry.” She told him sheepishly. “I’m just so excited!”

“When aren’t you excited about something, Wen? Your world is nothing but sunshine and Summer days.” Itzal teased.

“Oh, that’s not true.” She replied. “I just see good even in bad. Like a rainy day. The sun may not be shining, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t there. Rain is just another kind of good weather.”

Beaming fondly at the girl, Itzal sighed. Oh, how he wished he could see things the way his best friend did. Maybe then everything that happened to him would make sense. “Well, regardless. What are you so excited about today?”

Wendy’s face positively glowed and threatened to split in half from her ear to ear dimpled smile. “You won’t believe it, Itzal!” Her heart pounded in her chest as she reached her left hand toward her friend.

The ring glittered in the sunlight from the window. The stone, a lovely blue topaz, was just the right size. Wendy bit her lip as she waited for his reaction. It took a few moments, but Itzal at last reached out to take her hand. “You’re kidding! Wendy, that’s great!” He gasped. “Alex is a very lucky man.”

Wendy laughed jovially. “He asked last night.” She explained, eyes glancing down to the ring. “I called AJ, Dara, and Danny after Alex went to sleep. But I wanted to tell you in person.”

“Why me, Wen? You could’ve called me too.” Itzal pointed out, confused.

“I know.” She said, sweetly. “But uh… I wanted to ask you something.” Her innocent brown eyes found his and a light blush colored her cheeks. “Will you give me away, Zal?”

The man’s eyes bugged and his jaw all but hit the floor. His lips opened and closed several times. The pounding in his ears only showed how stunned he was. “W-w-w-wen… Wen, are you… Are you sure? But, w-what about Danny, or Emeth?”

“Well, Danny would do it in an instant if I asked him, I know he would. But, well, he’s got Aami. And Emeth is very kind, but he’s sure to have kids of his own with Ivy someday.” Wendy mused. “You and me… We’re friends, Zal. We’ve known each other for years. And well.”

Scoffing she shook her head and shielded it with her delicate little hands. “It sounds so morbid to say aloud! But, my family is gone. And… Yours is too.” Wendy whispered gently. “My father can’t walk me down the aisle, he can’t give me away or have that last dance with me.” She didn’t say it, but then she didn’t need to. Itzal knew that he’d never have the chance to do all of that with his own baby girl.

“It won’t be the same, I know. It won’t replace my daddy or your daughter. But… We’re so close, Zal. You’re my best friend. It just… It makes sense. I can’t give you your family back anymore than you can give me mine. But I thought… Since we both lost something we can’t have back, I can try to give you a next best thing.”

To Wendy, her words fell devastatingly short of explaining her feelings. The logic that made so much sense the night before had flown out the window like a breeze. How could she even ask this of him? It would surely break his heart. How could she hurt her friend like that? But to Itzal, it did make sense. And though it hurt him to think about, he understood exactly what she meant. Tears filled his eyes as he reached over and took her hand.

“It would be my honor, Wendy.” He answered, voice shaking. As the two friends squeezed the hand of the other, they shared a moment of bittersweet joy. Wendy was right, it wouldn’t be the same as it would be if it was their own lost family. But maybe, due to their shared bond and years of friendship and many adventures, they could bring each other a sense of peace.

{{Hey, Amy, I'm still looking for Wendy's engagement ring, but she did tell me she liked this one. https://www.josephjewelry.com/jewelry/images/Custom-Organic-Flower-Halo-Diamond-and-Blue-Topaz-Engagement-Ring-3Qtr-100626.jpg All the stones would be Blue Topaz, her birthstone. Cause like me, Wendy doesn't really like diamonds and would prefer her birthstone or something more unique.}}

[onlyhatredleft]

Open starter

Dark eyes snapped open as the pressure of feet or paws or something marked his banks. A creature dared to trespass upon his shores? Did someone wish to gaze scornfully upon the polluted, sluggish pond that the Telmarines had left in their destructive wake?

Itzal assumed his human appearance, digging into the reedy bed with the bare toes of his good leg as he reached for the surface. Unlike the years before the conquest and ravaging of Narnia, his bony shoulders were exposed to air when he stood. They had stolen his water, had hunted down or chased away his fish, and had thrown their trash carelessly to clog up his veins and choke his very air. The liquid that lay dead between his fingers was an unhealthy green from the algae that spawned mosquitoes; it was the lifeblood of the river god’s anger. He did not hate the being that stood so brazenly on the grass, no, his sentiment was so much deeper than that. He was hate. It coursed through his bones down to the hands that dripped green sludge as they reached out to grab the intruder.

“Speak your final words,” Itzal intoned with a voice brimming with death.

[rafaelguardianofstars-blog]

((flashback, you can decide the time)) -Itzal slowly sorts through his memories before alighting on a name.- Rafael. You look old.

-shifts his weight from the right foot to the other- 

-removes the hand that rested, pensively, over his mouth- 

Hundreds of years do so. 

-walks a step closer- How are you, Itzal?