RP Etiquette: The Do’s and Do Not’s of Doubling and You
Hello! COF Mod here deciding to do a helpful guide on how to be a good RP partner when doubling specifically, but can be used as an informational resource whether you’re new to RPing or just need a refresher.
1. Communication, communication, communication
Clear communication is the forefront of RP, and it’s the only way an RP partnership will survive.
Do be clear and communicate what your desires and expectations are for a partner and do not try to force yourself into adapting into what your partner wants. Challenging yourself is one thing, but if you know that you get bored with long replies, don’t respond to partners looking for novella length. If you need NSFW in an rp, then make sure to make that clear. It can take a long time to find a partner you vibe with, so just be patient.
Do Not be passive aggressive or make assumptions about your partner’s responses, or lack of response. Nothing kills a person’s drive or desire to rp than receiving a message like “I can tell you aren’t interested anymore so goodbye” and/or deleting the rp without a word. There are few things that a calm, friendly message can’t clear up.
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2. Investment and RP Quality
You need to at least attempt to be interested in each side of the RP. It’s very rare that anyone would want to solely gush about your OC or plotline while leaving theirs on the backburner.
Do ask questions, make observations, chat and be otherwise engaged! Try and make sure that each side is as equal as possible in both content and enthusiasm, and it’s considered good etiquette to post both replies at the same time if doubling. If you only have muse for one half, then you should wait until you can reply to the other. Most people are happy to wait so long as it’s communicated.
Do not give bland responses or what I call ‘hold an RP hostage.’ This is when one partner will only respond to their side and claim something along the lines that the only way they can get muse for the other half is to continue their RP indefinitely and then maybe they’ll reply, or rush through their partner’s response half-assedly to get back to their side. Occasionally, this is fine, and is often unintentional, but once it becomes a habit (more than twice in a row for me is a sign to bring it up), it’s in your best bet to bring it up as per section in a calm, clear, and polite manner. Do not play games back or be petty and accusatory (though, if they view any confrontation as such, then that’s your cue to run away, and brings me to my next point)
3. Grow a Thick Skin
With the amount of different people coming from different walks of life and different experiences, it’s impossible to get along 100% with everyone you RP with or even just come into contact with. Sometimes, your feelings will be hurt and it will really be nobody’s fault.
Do realize that RP’s and OOC communication die off for a variety of reasons and most of the time, has nothing to really do with you. Sometimes people forget, sometimes real life gets in the way and there’s an unexpected hiatus. Recognize that you will ghost, and be ghosted, at some point in time and take it with a grain of salt.
Do feel free to ask after silence if you are not blocked/unfriended if they would wish to continue the RP and if you get a positive response, then great! If not, then simply move on. Even the greatest, most eloquent writers will get ghosted and sometimes it really is a matter of styles not meshing.
Do feel free to cease communication if you feel unsafe or if your partner is repeatedly violating your boundaries. Warnings are preferred, but if they’re making you so uncomfortable that you are afraid to go online, then act in your own best interest. This goes double for minors! Block anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable in any way.
Do not send accusatory and angry messages or try to circumvent blocks. It’s very immature and rarely helps. If someone blocks you, for any reason, just move on and don’t try and further communication. It can be seen as annoying at best and stalking at worst. Just move on.
5. Criticism
I’m gonna keep it real simple.
Do be constructive and only give criticism when asked. Constructive criticism can be phrases like “I enjoy X but it could be elevated with Y”, “This is already good, but here’s how we can make it better.” and things like that.
Do Not give out your opinion unprompted and don’t be an ass about it. Nobody wants to hear “Your OC is kind of cringe” or anything else like that. Mind your own business and be kind to other people who are at various levels of experience and also? It’s roleplay. It’s about fun, and lording your alleged writing expertise over others is ill-mannered at best. You’re well within your rights to rp with whomever you want, but be kind and say ‘Sorry, but I don’t think our styles will mesh.”
6. Patience
This ties in with communication, but you absolutely must be patient with your potential partners and communicate what you consider ghosting and how long you’re willing to wait for a response. Some of the people I rp with I get maybe a response every two to three months but we check in often, and the RP is still going strong. For me, that’s fine, but that doesn’t mean it’s fine for everyone.
Do try and keep in contact and keep everyone up to date.
Do remember you are not entitled to your partner’s entire life and they do not owe you an excuse or reason why they haven’t replied. Don’t demand explanations, it’s a hobby, not a job.
Do not lash out if someone takes too long to reply “even if they’re online”. However, also:
Do not beat yourself up if life happens and an unexpected hiatus happens. Most people are happy to pick back up, but if they aren’t, then you can rest knowing you’ve made the attempt and feel better.
Once again, this is what I call the bare bones of RP etiquette, and is in no way meant as a comprehensive guide on RP. Merely a resource for all writers on how to be a better partner and to maintain your RP relationships. Happy hunting and remember we are currently open for ads! Please let me know if this has been helpful and if you’d be interested in similar posts in the future
How do you get over a man who you fell hard for, who doesn't love you back, and doesn't care for you, and essentially just manipulates you for his own selfish needs?
Love from an ooc note…I’m just coming out of a longterm rl relationship where I just had to end things yesterday. I can tell you from current experience that breaking up with anyone is horrible. But if that person doesn’t love you back, that is the worst. My first piece of advice would be, to probably drop contact with them..Because it will only hurt more if you keep talking to them. That is the first step to healing. I’d also say-friends. Friends are the best thing in the world when in this type of situation. (I have some amazing friends here and outside who are a big help right now.). I’d also say, do something you love. Because at the end of the day you matter most. You should also know, you are enough, perfect, and deserve to be loved. And you will find someone better one day. One girl to another girl/guy -hugs-
