April 18th, is my 5 years clean from opiates and other drugs date. And while my life isn’t perfect, and I still have many struggles and hurdles to jump through. But I’ve made it further than I ever imagined I would.
The recovery rate for opiate addicts is less than 2%. 5 years is a big number for me. But I envy those of 10, 15, 20+ years out there that do exist. I admire their strength and hope to be there one day. If I wouldn’t have stopped, I would’ve ended up in a ditch somewhere.
And if I would have relapsed, there’s a great chance I would have ended up being discovered in my bed in my studio apartment dead for over a week due to overdose.
5 is my biggest milestone and I’m so happy and proud of myself. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without my father. He helped me when nobody else would. NOBODY. Not my mother, and not my brother. My dad was the only one advocating for me. He helped me. He sent me to what turned out to be a 105 day rehab. And I knew it was the best thing for me, but putting yourself in my situation at that point, I actually wanted to die. I thought there was no way that when I got out, I wouldn’t do opiates again, then probably graduate to heroin use because it’s cheaper and more effective.
I may not be the top of my class. I may not be the best son/grandson there is. I may not have gone to college. But I’ve worked my ass off for the past 5 years. Not only remaining clean from drugs, but also building a career and getting years of work and management experience under my belt. (ABSOLUTELY NO SHADE TO MY COLLEGE GRADUATE FRIENDS) but I fucking did the work. Call any of my bosses, and they’ll tell you I was at the top of the game. Which is now why I’m able to apply for the jobs I’m now qualified to apply for. That I wouldn’t qualify for if I haven’t spent the last 5 years working full time. I may not have that “business” degree, but I have been involved within the meetings and workplace, concerning the daily operations of many different businesses.
I know my shit. I know floor moves, I know resets. I know brand guides. I know standards. I know how to effectively train associates. I know how to run a store. I know retail. And people love to shit on retail...but the truth is, I love it. In retail you NEVER have a dull moment. There are always things to do. There are always areas to re-merchandise and renorganize and re-do the visuals and color stories/flow. It’s important for me to keep busy within a professional environment.
I’ve never had a difficult time winning over the trust and admiration of my superiors. And have ended up training a few of them.
You may say “Are you still in retail?” And my answer is always “Absolutely, I love it.” while the people who ask, are in jobs that don’t fulfill them, and that go to work in a bad mood daily. That’s not me. I love a retail environment. It’s all about having superiors you admire and having co-workers and associates you love working with. That’s all I really need. (Working with incredibly beautiful products is another motivator, something I’m currently working on)
I love you all. My tumblr is now a decade old, and I have and do, appreciate all of you. Thank you so much for all of your love and support throughout the years. ily 💙💙💙
