#or whiny

[neosvcr]

he's so pretty what the fuck☹️☹️

[alionthecouch]

I’m having a hard time falling asleep tonight. My amazing husband left today to go back up to Washington and go back to work at the company he was at before. They company paid for his move up, and the kids and I will stay behind so we can save up money and move back to Washington again. This time forever. No take backs.

Which I’ve said before and I hate saying again. But Arizona is not for us. We get no joy from being here and with my family fall out, there’s no reason to stay. That dream is shattered. You can’t love only half of me and keep all of me.

So we start this new journey to Washington again. This time doing it in all the ways we didn’t do it before. This time we are going to get it right. We have experience, and knowledge like never before. And this time, we invited another family to join us in the journey. They accepted and no one is going through any of these changes alone.

However, right now in this big king sized bed, in a large house without my husband’s presence is the loneliness I have not missed. I had him in my arms just this morning and now he’s gone.

I have cried about it, and smoked about it several times. My heart aches when we are apart. I have irrational fears. I hear things in my house that aren’t there. I worry so much for his safety in his field of work. If he’s warm enough or eating enough.

I’m determined to get there to take care of him and our kids the right way again. There’s no surprises here on this journey. It’s one we have done before.

Well, one surprise. I haven’t told my family yet. I haven’t really told anyone but my closest friends.

I know I won’t get the reactions I want so I just kind of want to show up in Washington and let everyone else catch up. No one has been dying to see me. No one has noticed I quit my job for the last week.

No one cares about us the way we want them to and more people involved just takes away the joy of it all. And I need joy more than ever right now.

I’m without my baby and I won’t see him again till December 20th. Oh how that is such a blessing to know. He will be with us for Christmas.

I just have to stay strong till then and I get him back for 9 glorious days. And then I will deal with my future endeavors.

Speaking of future endeavors, I will picking back up the torch of my fitness. I have been severely slackly to the point where it’s noticeable and I need to get control over myself again. Beach Bod 2020 here I come!

If you got this far, thank you for taking time out of your day to read about mine. It means a lot to me when people interact, so please make yourself known to me.

[squadron965isnotokay]

how do I get you people to give me asks do I need to sell my soul or draw more or what

[x-lilyofthevalley-x]

Hey its the holidays though :) We have something to be kinda happy about, holiday break and getting to sleep and relax! 🐿

I agree, but unfortunately I have to work everyday this upcoming week (perks of being and adult and out of school 😭😭) because Christmas is my holiday to work, but I have off work the 30th, 31st, and January 1st so that's a plus

[stimming4dayz]

You know what? I'm so tired of always being repaid for being a good person with horrible backlash. Whether it me being a good friend and being stabbed in the back, or just handing someone water and having it spill all over me

[mello-yuki]

I've recently had this idea of a home just being my own, private place of relaxation. With no one expecting me home. A pet would be nice, but a perfect home is a home where there are no social interactions or no nosy neighbors. But everytime i come home to see my brothers, I feel a little less lonely. And that's nice. Whenever she goes home though. That's a different story altogether.

[acreaturecalledgreed]

am i annoying

[master-of-study]

Lately I’ve been feeling very confused about my identity.  I am half Mexican and half white. I grew up in America with a dad who, although fully Mexican, only understand Spanish but can’t speak it. Although I often see my Mexican relatives and grew up with certain aspects of Mexican culture, I have always felt distanced from that part of my heritage. Because I don’t look Mexican at all, I have often been told that essentially, I am just white. I’m not actually Mexican/latina/Hispanic/whatever. Because apparently, being half-white cancels out the 50% of me that is Mexican. (I even once has an administrator at my school tell me to put “white” on my AP forms “because you live in America”, so obviously that makes me more white. I am literally the same amount Mexican as I am white.)  As I got older, I found myself more and more proud of my Mexican heritage. But lately, I’ve started feeling like I have no right to call myself latina when I still feel somewhat distanced from my culture. I’m in this weird limbo of not really knowing who I am, not knowing whether it’s even acceptable for me to start really learning about and engaging in Mexican culture when I spent the first 19 years of my life relatively separated from it. Because even though I know I am half Mexican, and I am proud of it, part of me still feels distant enough that I am scared of not being accepted, or of being called out for cultural appropriation or something. Mexico has such a rich history and culture, and I am so happy to be able to say it is a big part of me. And I was to embrace that culture, I want to truly get to know it and finally be able to feel like I can call myself latina. I also want to learn more about my roots in Mexico, even though we don’t have much info from before my family came to America.  But to be honest, I don’t even know where to start.