One Topic Topical--Eight Oregon Protesters Arrested, One Killed
Eight of the “Occupy Oregon Bird Gift Shop” protesters--Including leader Ammon Bundy--were arrested last night, and one was killed, during an FBI and Oregon State police operation. The arrests and death took place during a class field trip to a community meeting where the occupiers were hoping to win over support of locals. LaVoy Finnicum, who apparently is a real person and not a black leprechaun, died when he allegedly exited a vehicle while brandishing his firearm. Supporters say that he was simply complying with the FBI’s request to “see that really cool gun. Guns are so cool. Oh my God let me see that cool gun.” One of the individuals was wounded in the arm, and the other seven were arrested peacefully after suddenly realizing that dying in a shootout is way different than they thought it would be.
The group that remained behind at the clubhouse announced on Twitter that they would be staying, despite the fact that they are definitely the B-Squad. The FBI announced plans to continue to work towards a peaceful resolution, or until that place turns into “Lord of the Flies. Whichever comes first.
LaVoy Finnicum is survived by his wife, 11 children, six dogs, two trucks, 47 guns, eight confederate flags, 31 pocket constitutions, a subscription to “Things We Blame The Jews On” magazine, and a $30 gift card to Cracker Barrel.