Hey, sorry if this isn't really the right blog to ask this, but I was wondering. At what age is it safe to assume if a person is aro? I'm 15 currently, I have had "crushes", albeit fake ones. I did some research, and I found a few people who only got their first crush in their late teens. I'm wondering if I'm just a late bloomer, basically. (I know it doesn't really matter that much, and I can just change my mind if I turn out to be wrong, but still)
so, ultimately, i find the best response to this question is a question in return: why does it matter to you? You say it doesn’t matter, which I agree with, but the fact that you are asking means that it does mean something to you.
I have identified as aro since I was 13, and I’m currently just shy of 21. I also identified as ace at 13, but stopped identifying as ace shortly after turning 19. I’ve enjoyed and felt acceptance in both communities, and I don’t regret or think I was wrong to identify as ace even though I don’t identify that way anymore. It was a useful term for me then, and when I no longer felt it was accurate, there was no outcry from anyone who accepted me. There was just a curious “oh, so what’s the difference with how you identify now? Could you run me through the difference between aromantic and asexual again?”
To give a more concrete answer, I think that the age at which it is safe to assume someone is aro is when they are helped by the label aromantic. Some people always knew, to some degree - I always thought romance was weird and fake. Some people only noticed when their peers began to act differently - I only consciously noticed my aromanticism at that point. Some people go much longer. But at any point where calling themselves aromantic brings them comfort, comradery, or connections, I think it is appropriate.
Why? Because it’s not just okay to change your mind because you were “wrong”. Identity itself can be fluid. I no longer identify as ace because I was asexual and am now not. I’m also genderfluid, and that has significantly impacted how I view my identity. My gender can change, and so can my orientation. Right now, we don’t talk about that very often because, in my opinion, we’re still recovering from the era of conversion therapy, and it isn’t a finished battle worldwide. But the difference is that conversion therapy attempts to force change, while orientation and gender are innate experiences that don’t necessarily follow any rhyme or reason.