i woke up at 1pm i think almost 2 but i kinda needed the rest LMAO AFTER THE WHOPPING ONE AND A HALF DAYS OF SCHOOL I WENT TO THIS WEEK but then ugh i was bleeding so much i couldnt even go see ricky i didnt even get dressed all day. i didnt do anything today.
we were supposed to watch the harvest moon together. that was our thing.
and instead i ate mcdonalds and had cramps and watched too much greys again and
i mean i made a pixel uh. david bowie hands guy for ricky. i dont know his name lmao
AND IM SO MOODY IM DAMAGING THINGS
i like. first i was all doki cuddly and i slipped in a "love you" to my goodnight to ricky and I SCARED THE HELL OUT OF THE POOR BOY BUT IT WAS BY MISTAKE I DIDNT WANT TO SCARE HIM LIKE THAT ITS JUST WEIRD FOR ME NOT TO TELL ANYONE I LOVE THEM WHEN THEYRE OFF TO BED BECAUSE I DO LOVE EVERYONE AND NOW I FEAR IM THE OVERBEARING WEIRD ATTACHED NEEDY GIRLFRIEND AND I DONT LIKE IT
then the minute he left it was like bam you are now sad about being a failure in comparison to your classmates from middle school and elementary school
and then after i was sad enough i went and put oil in my hair and washed my face and brushed my teeth and put nair on my lip and almost burnt it omfg
ever since i was doki all i really wanted to be was in the mood to be girly i want to buy fake tanner and be likea beauty guru in the sense that i have a beautiful room with quotes on the walls and i go to lush all the time and use instagram and drink starbucks and put avocado on things it doesnt belong on and wear bandeau bras and flowy tank tops every day and have ombre hair and do gross top knots and i just
idk thats all i want thats my ideal lifestyle i need a change and im going to reach it
tomorrow i begin painting my room "vanilla milkshake" and thats where it starts
then comes winter clothes shopping