Shoutout to fictionkin & fictives that enjoy their source as a coping mechanism for the exotrauma you went through. People love to hate on victims for enjoying exploring our traumas in a safe (often fictional or roleplay) space, and this combined with how intense &/or "abnormal" exotrauma can be can create a lot of shame. It sucks! So let's talk about it
If you like to watch your source even though it was traumatic for you -
If you like to play your source even though the gameplay involves harm to yourself or others -
If you like to write, roleplay out, or otherwise depict your self, your source, your trauma and recovery from it -
If viewing your source or telling details to others brings you comfort and identity euphoria rather than shame or fear -
If you feel the need to vent or traumadump when in source you would have stayed silent -
If your source still feels like "home" no matter how harmful it was -
It's okay to process the shit that happened to you in your own way. Take care of yourself and judge your limits carefully and you'll be just fine. You don't have to throw everything away in order to heal, and your trauma responses DEFINITELY aren't fake for it. We know ourselves best, dammit!
- Ouma






