#outletph

[outletph]

They didn’t understand why we valued every moment together. They didn’t know why we kiss, they didn’t understand why we held each other’s hand tight. They didn’t see the future we could have.

We weren’t something to parade around the world.

We don’t need their blessing.

We just need each other.

[outletph]

"For two years, I was debating with myself whether I hate you or I miss you. Now, I am pretty sure I loved you."

[outletph]

Forbidding yourself to be sad consequently forbids you to be happy. Crying is not a sin, nor something to be embarrassed about. The strongest people cry the loudest and smile the brightest.

Cry your tears. And when all is well, smile your best. // @outletph

[outletph]

still a little bit in love with you

I often find myself thinking about you, even when I’ve already sworn to all gods known to mankind that I won’t. Still, at least I have a semblance of control on the way I think about you. It could be about the past, it could be about the way you’re begging for me to come back. Sometimes, I think about route where we didn’t meet at all

I often find myself thinking about you, but what I hate the most is the rare chance I dream about you.I dream of what I really want to happen. I dream of calling you back, I dream of myself standing in front of you, holding your hands, whispering that I missed so much and I want you to comeback. I dream of us standing in the rain, soaking wet, uttering endless proclamations of love.

I often find myself thinking about you.

I often find myself still a little bit in love with you.

[outletph]

You left the world thinking that nobody was really there to love you. 

And it pains me that you felt that way, when in fact, my heart, after all these years, still longs for you. I’ve given you what I thought you wanted, but I should have listened to the words you weren’t strong enough to say.

I should have heard your cry when you refused to leave your room.

I should have heard your cry when you stopped being in love with your passion.

I should have heard you.

[outletph]

One day, I’ll write about us—how we met, how we sat under the stars and talked about our feelings without filter.

One day, I’ll write about us—how we fell in love, how I looked into your eyes and thought they were far more amazing than the stars.

One day, I’ll write about us—how the light faded in your eyes, how the conversations turned dry, and how the coldest night became warmer than your love.

But today, maybe I’ll let myself heal. Maybe I need to let the tear tracks dry first before I begin another paragraph. 

Maybe, just maybe, it’s time that I choose myself the same way that you did. And maybe it’s time to give myself the love that I used to give you.

[outletph]

mindless, we run

towards the path of the Sun.

trusting, we followed

our hearts and minds hollowed.

lost, we crawled

debating whether the truth was told.

knowing, we fought,

at last, saved by our own thoughts.

[outletph]

Yesterday, I was too tired to leave my bed after crying my eyes out all night. Tons of unwashed dishes were left on the sink, and my phone battery is almost dead because of the ringing and buzzing from their messages. 

Yesterday, today was distant reality. 

Today, I washed my tear stricken face, and managed to clear the sink. I am not okay, but this time, my friends know that I am fighting.

Today, tomorrow is step towards healing.